It drives me CRAZY!

[E-beth]

I am lately wondering why some people have kids.

I work in a preschool which also houses a day care. While my class is a full day kindergarten readiness program, most of the others are structured day care classes.

What is making me so angry are the parents we have in our day care program who bring their kids before the crack of dawn and pick them up after dark. Also, the parents who bring their kids to day care when they have the day off work.

I understand that when you have a day off you might have doctor's appointments or errands. I also understand that parents need the occasional mental health day. What I don't get is why your priority is NOT spending time with your kids. Why have children if you don't want to be with them for even a bit of your free day? Teachers are the worst! In my class alone, we have three children of teachers. These kids come during spring break, Christmas break, and summer break, when we are basically just a day care. The moms always have some excuse "we are wallpapering our bedroom, so they will be here all summer." "I need to do some laundry so Tommy will be here from 6:30 AM til 6PM" My favorite? "I am going to do some scrapbooking, so I will need to bring Nick during spring break."

Kids are such a gift. Childhood is so fleeting. I sometimes ache for my own son during the day, and I feel like a thirsty man at a desert oasis to get home to him. And I am also sad for the kids who are thrown away into my care.

Sorry for the rant. I would like some more opinions about this topic. Do you think parents are more selfish with their time these days?

 

[Laurie919]

I would hope that, that is not the norm. That is just a select few parents. I know as a working single parent that I have had no choice but to put my daughter in daycare. I don't leave her a minute more than I have to. I drag her to doctors appointments and errands with me just so we can have time together.

This is going to be one hot topic.

 

[Caffeinated]

I do tend to think that many - not all - parents are more selfish with their time - a natural consequence of Generation Me, I think. I'm all for having an occasional break, and whether we are parents or not, we all have different needs and personalities. But once you become a parent...well, you're a PARENT. Self should no longer be your main priority, but we're part of a world that doesn't understand or teach the concept of duty before self.

 

[Redstiletto]

I completely agree! My other biggest pet peeve is when you are driving down the road and look over to the vehicle next to you and there is a child, unseatbelted in the car. whether they are standing up or playing or siting nicely, it doesnt matter! They are your children!!!!

 

[ShannonMcCatholic]

I sincerely belive that many people feel like their children will have more "fun" spending the day at day care than at home and are not putting kids in daycare during breaks out of mailicious intent.

I dunno- we never know the backstory of people's lives unless we are their intimate friends--so I find it best to withold judgement.

I do think ,overall, people are surprsied and taken unawares in a large part about the demands of parenthood, as well as the huge amounts of self sarifice it requires in the early years.

 

[GolfingMom]

I agree with most posters.
I also think it depends on the perspective and we all have different parenting choices.
I've been called selfish b/c DH and I go away by ourselves (faint) a few times a year. I guess it depends on the person and their point of view.

 

[Laurie919]

Several very good points. You knever know what is going on in a persons life until you walk in their shoes. Something I need to take into consideration more often to keep from being so judgemental.

I also agree that people may do this because they think their kids may have more fun playing with other kids than they would with their parents.

Taylor was furious at my Tuesday for making her get out the bed to ride to the doctor with me. She wanted to sleep all day. I wanted to have that "us" time even though we weren't doing something fun we were together and just talking.

 

[OrangeHope]

I sincerely belive that many people feel like their children will have more "fun" spending the day at day care than at home and are not putting kids in daycare during breaks out of mailicious intent.

Hmmmm I always wanted to stay home instead of going to day care. I can see why parent maybe would like a day off if they can things to do that day or just need one quiet day to themselves but why have them in day care when you home and you can be spending time bonding with them?? I don't really get it.

 

[Tea]

My sisters children were put into daycare from 6 weeks of age. I was horrified. I asked her how she could do this.
She told me that these people (daycare workers) were better at parenting then they were. To which I said that she shouldn't have had children then!
I have cried for these children.
Tracey

 

[Laurie919]

My sisters children were put into daycare from 6 weeks of age. I was horrified. I asked her how she could do this.
She told me that these people (daycare workers) were better at parenting then they were. To which I said that she shouldn't have had children then!
I have cried for these children.
Tracey

I don't think you should cry for a child because they go to daycare. There could be much worst things in their lives.

Sometimes you don't have a choice but to work and comments like that will make someone that has to work really feel like they are a failure.

 

[GolfingMom]

I don't think you should cry for a child because they go to daycare. There could be much worst things in their lives.

Sometimes you don't have a choice but to work and comments like that will make someone that has to work really feel like they are a failure.

I agree.

 

[Leanna]

I agree, my husband's business partner and his wife are like that and send their child off as much as possible, even overnight when they can. We are not sure when they spend time with their child. *shrug*

 

[ShannonMcCatholic]

I don't think you should cry for a child because they go to daycare. There could be much worst things in their lives.

Sometimes you don't have a choice but to work and comments like that will make someone that has to work really feel like they are a failure.

Seriously...the post you quoted, Laurie, just seems so judgemental to me ...my gracious....

I seriously think that most parents out there are doing their imperfect best--and operate out of what they believe to be the best interests of their children. As is the case with all of us- sometimes our best intentions turn out to be misguided.

 

[TexasSky]

I used to attend a large church in our city which ran a childcare center. When the pastor's changed, the new pastor kept noticing familiar faces in the crowd of parents in the morning, and started looking closely at things. He realized that a tremendously large number of "SAHM"s of the country club set were using the daycare far more than working Mom's. They were dropping the kids off in the morning, then spending the day doing lunch with their friends, tennis, yoga, etc.

He shut the place down.

I get just as bewildered by some parents and bedtime though. I know parents who work that get their children up right before they leave for work or daycare. Pick them up around 6:00. They get home, cook dinner, and put the kids to bed by 8:00 or 8:30. I wonder why they have children. They obviously never are with them.

 

[Laurie919]

Seriously...that just seems so judgemental...my gracious....

I seriously think that most parents out there are doing their imperfect best--and operate out of what they believe to be the best interests of their children. As is the case with all of us- sometimes our best intentions turn out to be misguided.

I really thought this was one of my least judgemental post.

 

[E-beth]

I do not think daycare is a bad thing...after all, I work in one! I know that the kids learn alot, play alot, and probably get more attention when they are with us at school. But even if you love your job, isn't a day off nice once in a while?

What I am talking about are parents who have an opportunity to spend free tiome with their kids, and choose not to. It really isn't about daycare per se, but about parents who are content to have their children be elsewhere instead of experiencing life together.

I get just as bewildered by some parents and bedtime though. I know parents who work that get their children up right before they leave for work or daycare. Pick them up around 6:00. They get home, cook dinner, and put the kids to bed by 8:00 or 8:30. I wonder why they have children. They obviously never are with them.

I agree. Unfortunately, with the economy and parents who have to work full time, time together is a premium. That is why I can't understand it why they wouldn't want to spend their free time with their kids, just hanging out.

 

[Surrender2Win]

I really thought this was one of my least judgemental post.

As much as I disagree with most of your posts, I would have to agree with you here....maybe she meant to quote another poster.

I can't say my heart doesn't ache for the children of parents who leave them in daycare when it isn't necessarily needed....even knowing they are doing the best with what they have...it doesn't mean that my heart won't ache for the child who has to live with that.

 

[ShannonMcCatholic]

I really thought this was one of my least judgemental post.

Ohh...no...not your post...I meant the post you had responded to


I totally agreed with you!

 

[Laurie919]

I would really like to think that people use daycare as a necessity not to just to have "me" time.

I can totally understand a SAHM using a mothers day out program at a church or even taking turns with friends. I can't imagine trying to grocery shop with three or four children. I know how much just bringing Taylor adds to our grocery bill, so 4 extra opinions would be really hard.

I had a job once where I worked 6am to 6pm but I only worked 3-4 days a week, so the rest of the week Taylor would not have ot be at summer camp (daycare). Now there where times that they may have been going to do something she wanted to do and she would go but that was by her choice not mine. It was by necessity that she was there that much not by choice.

Then I have worked where I would work "turnarounds" where they would be doing something in the plant I worked at where they would require 10 hour days. I would always take a week or two off to spend with her after working one of these. They would usually last any where from 4-8 weeks.

Her dad stopped paying child support one time in the summer and I could no afford her summer camp. I had to get a second job but I only worked when she was at his house so that I didn't have to leave her.

So, I really think that most parents do want to be with their children. Although honestly I think that has something to do with income level too. As crazy as that sounds. Because I do know people who have very high income levels who will spend the day playing tennis or at the spa instead of with their children.

 

[sgrimsley]

I'm freaking out about having to return to work in August. But we made a choice that one of us would stay home.... so I'm staying home for the first six months and dh is staying home after. I'm a high school teacher so the schedule is perfect. We're homebodies and all about staying with our child. You would think that these parents who choose to leave their kids in daycare even when they could have the time to be with them would want the opportunity to be a part of their lives. You have kids for the blessing they bring to your life.