As an active member of my congregation, I feel somewhat weighted down by recent problems involving our singles ministry. There isn't a specific area to talk to singles "ministers" so I guess I will ask my questions here.
First off, are there any REAL singles ministries that have been able to maintain INTEGRITY and Transparentcy within a mixed group? Our ministry is in infancy, and already we are seeing problems. Even with the overt tone of "this is not a meat market" there are still those people who continue to "use" it as such. And, part of the core, foundation, group who formed it have faced some serious integrity problems in the last little bit. A couple became engaged, and then he moved in with the girl. Reportidly they were "sleeping in seperate beds" but this does not AVOID THE APPEARANCE of EVIL. Now they are married but there are many in the group who are offended by what they have done, and the fact that those higher up's did nothing.... didn't confront it..etc. So now it is swept under the rug because "they are married"... I personally, really think this is a mess. And even though I don't agree with them living in the same home before they were married.... maybe it could have been handled in a different manner. It was kept under wraps.. secret.. which means they knew it was wrong. And by hiding it.. has made it worse. Where were the other members of this group.???? Why did they stay silent? Why did no other single male stand up and offer to give this guy a place to stay until they were married? Even if it was just his couch. They could have avoided this whole thing.... And now I fear their marriage will be attacked because of this...
There has also been some seroius alligations made from one female against a male in the group. The leaders were made aware of it.. but have choose to take a "he's an adult" road instead of calling out the sin for what it is... and have even allowed this man to activly participate in a mission trip with the rest of the group. So... Condoning the sin...
Whatever happened to accountability?
Are these types of issues seen in other singles groups? Would it be better to do them seperatly? Like single ladies.. and single men.. and just have them together for a worship time? Or should we just intermix them in with the marrieds? Because it seems to me there is a complete breakdown in integrity, and accountability going on in this situation.
Thank you for your time.
Cinderella
First off, are there any REAL singles ministries that have been able to maintain INTEGRITY and Transparentcy within a mixed group? Our ministry is in infancy, and already we are seeing problems. Even with the overt tone of "this is not a meat market" there are still those people who continue to "use" it as such. And, part of the core, foundation, group who formed it have faced some serious integrity problems in the last little bit. A couple became engaged, and then he moved in with the girl. Reportidly they were "sleeping in seperate beds" but this does not AVOID THE APPEARANCE of EVIL. Now they are married but there are many in the group who are offended by what they have done, and the fact that those higher up's did nothing.... didn't confront it..etc. So now it is swept under the rug because "they are married"... I personally, really think this is a mess. And even though I don't agree with them living in the same home before they were married.... maybe it could have been handled in a different manner. It was kept under wraps.. secret.. which means they knew it was wrong. And by hiding it.. has made it worse. Where were the other members of this group.???? Why did they stay silent? Why did no other single male stand up and offer to give this guy a place to stay until they were married? Even if it was just his couch. They could have avoided this whole thing.... And now I fear their marriage will be attacked because of this...
There has also been some seroius alligations made from one female against a male in the group. The leaders were made aware of it.. but have choose to take a "he's an adult" road instead of calling out the sin for what it is... and have even allowed this man to activly participate in a mission trip with the rest of the group. So... Condoning the sin...
Whatever happened to accountability?
Are these types of issues seen in other singles groups? Would it be better to do them seperatly? Like single ladies.. and single men.. and just have them together for a worship time? Or should we just intermix them in with the marrieds? Because it seems to me there is a complete breakdown in integrity, and accountability going on in this situation.
Thank you for your time.
Cinderella
