I don't think so; that reduces it to a matter of semantics - time is what clocks measure, and we know that clocks work and we know how they change in respect of context (relative motion, gravity, etc). There are different ways of viewing or interpreting what the ticking of clocks means, e.g. perhaps our experience of it is misleading, but it is a phenomenon to be explained.True, of course it's possible they don't all mesh because there isn't time or something like that so they are missreading what happens.
The idea of an objective ruler makes no sense in a relativistic universe. The closest you can get is to take the reference frame of an observer at some point in space where gravitational fields are a minimum, define that as your rest frame, then use the appropriate transforms to calculate how it would appear in other frames.Like going back to my analogy of the objective ruler, for someone near a gravity well, it takes them longer to traverse the objective ruler then someone away from it, creating the appearance of time slowing down.
The time dilation is relative to an observer far from the gravity well, and is real. For the observer in the gravity well, his local time runs as always, and it's time outside the gravity well that runs fast. They're two equally valid ways of looking at it.
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