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Is this wrong?

naturelove

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My husband's friend has been inviting us over his and his wife's house. We've known them for 2 years. Yesterday we were there and he kept staring at me and when we left he hugged me and after held my hand looking into my eyes. What does this mean?... I haven't been able to stop thinking about him. I'm hoping to see him again real soon. Am I wrong for thinking this?
 
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johndoo

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I think his behavior is suspicious at best.
I think your reaction suggests some type of infatuation/connection.
You could stop going there.
You could talk to your husband about it.
You could talk to a trusted older Christian woman.
Read about boundry issues.
I fully understand that some people are huggers.
I also believe that his staring is inappropriate.
If you want to have a successful marriage, draw a line in the sand and don't keep putting yourself in a situation to be tempted.
 
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Dave-W

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Johndoo said it pretty well. But I would modify "could" to "should" concerning talking to your husband.

He needs to know what his friend is doing and to consider if he wants to continue to be friends with that. (bad behavior does spread)
 
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Job8

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What does this mean?... I haven't been able to stop thinking about him. I'm hoping to see him again real soon. Am I wrong for thinking this?
You have your answers already. Now the only question is whether you walk away from this nonsense or make a mess.
 
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Dave-W

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What does this mean?... I haven't been able to stop thinking about him. I'm hoping to see him again real soon. Am I wrong for thinking this?
I had a college roommate Jim who was a "chick magnet." He could just look at a girl and she would follow him anywhere. My wife attests to his magnetism.

Jim knew he had that, and used it sparingly. It is possible that this guy does not know he has it and is attracting everyone including yourself. It is why you keep thinking about him and want to see him again. IT connects and attracts something deep down. If left unchecked - it will end in adultery. Jim could have had almost any girl on campus in his bed at a moment's notice. Even the straight laced and prudish ones. It was that strong.

Talk to your husband and force yourself to think on other things.
 
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turkle

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I haven't been able to stop thinking about him. I'm hoping to see him again real soon. Am I wrong for thinking this?
This man gave you a come-on, and it gave you a thrill. Now you are infatuated and can't stop thinking about him. You ask if this is wrong.

What if it was the man's wife who gave the come-on to your husband, and he couldn't stop thinking about her? How would you feel? Do you think that would be wrong?

It's always an ego boost when someone shows you they are attracted to you. It's exciting. The trouble is, unless you are governed by wisdom and truth, you will want to repeat that thrill over and over. This is how marriages and lives are ruined.

Do you really have to ask if it's wrong? I think you already know. The question is, will you continue to seek him out and destroy your marriage, or will you think clearly about your commitment and vow to your husband?
 
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Goatee

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Walk away and don't look back! I have committed adultery and i wish i could turn the clock back to before that. Such a massive sin. Remember you would be betraying God too!

Please, please don't go there!! Ask God for guidance and strength to beat this.

God bless you
 
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Goatee

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Thank you everyone for the replies! I've talked to my husband about it and he says the best thing right now is to stay away from him for awhile.

Good. Glad you came clean. Keep asking God for guidance.

God bless you
 
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Dave-W

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Thank you everyone for the replies! I've talked to my husband about it and he says the best thing right now is to stay away from him for awhile.
Indeed. Good for talking to him.

Did he say he would keep an eye out for the "friends" bad behavior?
 
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naturelove

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Indeed. Good for talking to him.

Did he say he would keep an eye out for the "friends" bad behavior?
Yes. He said when we do see him he will watch how he acts with me. If he acts inappropriate he will say something to him.
 
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Dave-W

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He said when we do see him he will watch how he acts with me.
No. I meant how this guy was around other women, and BEFORE you are in the same space as him.
 
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Honesty-SJ

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My husband's friend has been inviting us over his and his wife's house. We've known them for 2 years. Yesterday we were there and he kept staring at me and when we left he hugged me and after held my hand looking into my eyes. What does this mean?... I haven't been able to stop thinking about him. I'm hoping to see him again real soon. Am I wrong for thinking this?

You have already committed adultery in your heart. (Matthew 5:28) "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart"

Obviously this goes for woman as well. Man is just used most commonly, like when we say "mankind".
Whether your husband is willing to "watch him to ensure his actions are proper" or not isn't going to stop him if he really wants to try something. Your husband should be repulsed by this man and cease all communication, not just for a time. You have the power as a married woman to have yelled out against that man having touched you that way in the first place. In fact, you have the right to never step foot in that man's house again.
I know for a fact that if another man came near me, the wrath my husband would feel would be like that of Jesus in the temple. There is no grounds WHAT SO EVER that we can accept that kind of behavior. My husband worded it perfectly when he said that these days in marriage a lot of people are like that person who gets hungry and goes to the fridge to find something to eat, satisfies that hunger and is full so they no longer desire to eat. Often times, we neglect our spouse in many crucial ways that we should not. Don't find satisfaction in your husband when convenient and then in other men when you're feeling like he's no longer doing "it" for you.

(Galatians 6:7) "Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows"

You vowed to love your husband for life. Through sickness and in health, richer or poor, better or worse. Not only that but you made that vow before God.
(Matthew 18:18) "Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.

The Lord praises marriage. It is one of the most amazing bonds He created for us to enjoy. Everything done in marriage is pure. There is nothing we are limited to when it is with our ONE spouse.
Do yourself a favor and stay away from friends in general. It's the best thing my husband and I could have done for ourselves. We have our family, which is mostly Christians so we study together, pray together and hang out together. If that's what you need to limit your social circle to in order for things like this to not happen, then so be it.
 
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