Is this total drivle, or is it good enough to enter in a contest?

[ZiSunka]

The Last Spring Frost

Misty fog freezes into frosty flocking,
Covers all branches
with prisms of white,

Converts the dark forest to a fairyland,
A mystical gleam
that brightens the night.

Gone are the drifts of wintertime snows,
Sweet frosts of spring
precede summer’s warm light.

 

[Wakeup2god]

Cool, reminded me that darkness lasts but for the night, joy comes in the morning. A new season.

 

[Lycana]

I think if you made it a bit longer it would make it better- but I like the visual images of winter that you have. Very nice.

 

[woman.at.the.well]

i agree with lycana and wakeup! awesome work lambslove!

 

[Under_His_Shadow]

I think it's quite good.
It has a good rhythm, rhymes nicely, and paints a delicate picture of the subject that the reader can easily visualize in their mind. As Lycana mentioned, perhaps at least one more paragraph would have made it even better by adding overall balance to the poem.

 

[ZiSunka]

Thanks, I'll work on it some more and see what you think before I send it in. Is this one any better:

Snow

Like shreds of the clouds,

Lazy snow flakes waft down

To frozen grassy ground.



Specks of pallid fluff

Drifting down, across an ashen

Sky, seeking silent rest.



Spreading silence to

The landscape below, muffling

All senses but peace.



Gentle, quiet snow

Offer winter’s calm to us,

Soothe our weary souls.
​