is this right?

[Perry Wade-Carter]

is it right to jus want to die? i mean, i jus dont want to live anymore ..im sick of it. its not that i dont have any friends or im being abused or somthing, but i am jus sick of the way my life is going and it seems every time i try to make it better i get shut down as soon as i start.

really im jus sick of my life because i work all the time and im still broke. im 16 and i pay so many bills i cant keep up. car, car insurance, cell phone, clothes, gas, food, the only things i dont pay for are the gass in our house, electricity, and water. i see all my friends going out for sports, managing sports, getting new cars (and not even paying for them), they livein nice houses or they are building a new one. i feel like im jus getting left behind. i try to give all of it to God but it doesnt seem like He does anything about it.

im jus ready to go...

 

[katylees]

i feel like that sometimes, too much stress, too much going on, everyones going on at you, no one seems to know how much its hurting u inside .... but try to look up...think of the good things, keep praying, and dont let everything get to you if u can..ill pray for you too

luv katy

 

[paul becke]

Perry, I hate to have to point this out to you, because it is so fundamental to Christianity, but Christianity is not a conspicuous consumption or affluent society-friendly religion; at least not from the viewpoint of the manufacturers of the material "goodies" you appear to be eating your heart out for.

Christ rounded on his disciples most bitterly at one point, not because they wanted a BMW or the latest cell phone, but because he said they were following him primarily because they could be sure of a square meal - albeit the likes of bread and fish. And not to learn something of his wisdom.

How can you hope to have peace in your heart if you're driven to despair because you are poorer than your friends? "Where your treasure is there your heart is". "Oh Lord, you made us for yourself, and our hearts will find no rest until they rest in you".

I would recommend you read Aldous Huxley's book, "The Perennial Philosophy" explaining how all the great religions of the world agree on certain fundamental points". One amounts to the Commandment, "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbours' goods". But there is so much more there about the way we allow our hearts to be buffeted about from pillar to post with all sorts of negative desires and preoccupations.

As a Christian, you are supposed to set an example, to counter the desperate decadence of our secular Western society, not be enslaved to it.

You don't have out to drop out of society as a hermit, but try to develop your interior life as a counterbalance, in fact, its fulcrum. It was never meant to be just an accessory to a life based on worldly values of material affluence and ambitions.

Personally, I'd get rid of the cell phone, or use it only for emergencies. That would be a start.

You're only 16, but even if you were 60, I wouldn't presume to be judgemental, here, just to point out the massive contradiction that is causing your unhappiness.

 

[purple_people_eater_21]

Perry,
I've met a lot of people who didn't want to live. I used to be one of them. And you know what, sometimes it's not God. I found that I was walking in front of God. Trying to take control. But what we need to do is try and understand. And sometimes, that can be the hardest thing to do. I truly encourage you that God is right there with you, even as we speak. And He loves you more than anything you could ever imagine. He may not give you as much as you want, He definitely doesn't to me. But He will give you enough to get along. Love Him. He will provide. If you'd like to chat, please email me on karl_holgate@minterellison.com, and I'd love to hear from you.

God Bless
Karl

 

[IvoryRain]

Working for what you have is a blessing in many ways. You are learning and living important values. Even at this "young" age you are richer than many of your friends. Learn and grow from it. It'll make you a much stronger, solid person than you can imagine now.


There are ways to manage bills. Some of it does require cutting back but you dont have to go without.

Can you start keeping track of what you spend, how you spend it and what you buy?

Try keeping a journal for a while and see where your money goes. It'll really help you come to terms on finances. If you need help sorting through things feel free to get in touch with me and I'll try to help you organize.

 

[Krazeekkc]

Do you think you could lose the cell phone? Do you think you could survive your life with out it? Your only 16 and don't need to be paying a bunch of bills. Oh, also life isn't a race to see who can have the most and the most expensive things. Though many people think it is! Also, I think it's good that your parents aren't just giving the car to you. In the real world you're not going to always have them around to help you. You can become more independent this way. Though I wouldn't see the harm in them helping you a little bit.

Also, do you go to a uplifting, happy church? If you're in a church where you don't look forward to going every Sunday you aren't in the right one! Keep praying.

If you ever want to talk just pm me!

 

[Perry Wade-Carter]

ive actually cut back on some of my expenses since i got a checking account. mostly because if i write a check i have to get out my check book, write out the check, tear out the check (most the time i rip them and have to start all over again), then do all that dumb subracting to balance it. its actually pure laziness but i think its a good kind of lazy.

i cant lose the phone, i have a two year contract and i dont use it all that much during the day because im at school. then on the weekends and after 9 pm i get unlimited minutes for free. and its not so much jealousy over my friends. its more like i see them getting new cars, doing these really fun things, and not working at all, it just depresses me that i work all the time and still dont have that.

plus i have to pay my own way through college and i an flat broke and have only a year. that doesnt make me feel very good either.

 

[derek03]

It's funny you bring up the word laziness. Your friends seem to be the lazy ones.



Derek

 

[cutekid 4 Jesus]

It's funny you bring up the word laziness. Your friends seem to be the lazy ones.



Derek

hello perry,i totally sympathise with u i felt that way myself on tuesday,im sick of bills n scrimpin n saving n having old smelly trainers and tryin to keep up with my studies on top of it,i like to study but work n bills n that distracts me from it,but that post about u shouldnt be driven to despair was so right,cos we need to keep going,n rejoice in everyday God has given us,the joy of the Lord will be our strength as the scripture says.stick in there,keep loving God,he will make a way,im praying for financial breakthrough's in both our life's,but remember the devil uses different tactics to drive us to despair,if he knows poorness drives u to despair he may use it against u,our financial problems may be because of our attitude towards it,first we must learn to be happy in the Lord at all times.but i totally feel for u now man. Stay Blessed.Shalom

 

[derek03]

I don't know why we didn't think of it sooner but how are your grades Perry? A scholarship is just what you need for college. My sister got a scholarship to go to college for pennies on the dollar. People like you deserve to do good in the real world. I know exactly what you mean about the people around you having everything handed to them. When I was your age my family wasn't poor but we lived paycheck to paycheck most of the time. I just now realize the sacrifices my parents made for me though I thought they were insignificant back then. My best friend got a really nice '67 mustang as well as a slightly newer mustang when he was old enough to drive- a gift from his parents. I got a $275 toyota corolla that used more oil than gas. Maybe not being handed everything has made me more self sufficient. My home, truck, everything is paid for. But it wasn't easy. My evil brother (just kidding) had his way a little more than I did. He still ocassionally borrows money from my parents even though he makes over $60,000 a year compared to my $20,000. The point I'm trying to make is that you will be tough if you can weather this out. Hang in there.
Derek

 

[littlebritches71435]

Hello Perry, it seems you have a hunger(a special want from God.) No its not right to just want to go when God says its not your time. Right now God is testing you as he is me. He's testing you to see how long you can last just by praying to him. Tell him the good things you want and he promises he will give you what your heart desires. So whenever God is testing don't ever just want to die take the test and you will see that God want to see how high your faith scale revolves around you and how much you love. If you know for sure that you love him with all your heart, pray to him an ask him to take all the stress and anger and evil thoughts and all the bad away from you. Ask him for a new car, to supply you with money to pay for every thing you own.
love always,
Your sister in Christ
littlebritches71435

 

[Perry Wade-Carter]

i have always gotten a's in school. buteven if i got a scholarship i still am on my own for how to get there and where to live and food and such. and i dont want to get student loans, i hate being in debt from buying a car. payments suck...

 

[Bookman]

Perry, you're just stuck in a bad situation. It would be a disaster for you to die because things are bad right now. They DO get better. We go through different seasons in life and your situation will turn around.

I think you need to know that joy is the privilege of every Christian. In even adversity, there can be joy. I was just diagnosed with prostate cancer and I'm learning to accept it with joy. (The prognosis is good, so that helps).

Perry, just wait, pray, and don't live by your feelings. Feelings are fickle and dependent on circumstances. Stay focused on the FACT that God does have a plan for you...a plan that results in His best.

 

[pmarquette]

Isaiah 40.31 mount up as eagles .... renewed

Romans 8.28 will all work out if don't quit

Genesis 50.20 will turn around for the good

James 1.1 ; 1 Peter 1.7 look for way to use trials to build up wisdom , restraint , stewardship ...
16-21 and male is a difficult stretch , to young to be an adult , too old to be a kid , no credit rating , only minimum wage jobs .....

If you put in the time and stay after it :
If you do now , what others won't , then you will be able to do later what others can't ...

ask for and seek a barnabus , a old grey headed fart like me .... like karate kid .... who will teach you how to do a trade , mentor you , affirm you , challenge you to excell [ just like daddy God and Uncle Holy Spirit , and brother Jesus do each day ...

 

[paul becke]

It's funny how suffering is very real to each one of us, despite the many disparities between our lives. Suffering is no less real for being relative.

I mean there must be many adults in America who'd give their eye-teeth to be able to earn the kind of income you appear to earn, and pay those kind of bills. While elsewhere in the world there are parents watching their children die of starvation before their eyes.

I think "it's a good kind of lazy too", Perry. You're not really focused on, money, are you. You seem to just wish you had it as easy as some of your pals.

Kids tend to have a reputation for being lazy, but I always preferred to see that, than to see them prematurely and inordinately focused on worldly ambitions, if, that is, (as it often seems to be), it's a function of their trying to get more of a handle on the meaning and purpose of life, the real, underlying priorities they need have in their back pocket, so to speak, with their background and in their particular situation. In your case, this kind of problem is evidently facilitated to some extent by your faith in Christ. But our world sends many contradictory messages and tries to pull us in many directions.

It's a good job, mind you, that I'm not one of your rich friends, as I'd surely pull your leg mercilessly about your having to toil and pay your way, while I could swan around without doing a tap! You might even end up laughing at yourself and your plight.

 

[Aphreal]

Ahhhh boy can I relate I was 16 but still in highschool, working two jobs and supporting myself. I bought my car from my mom even then, she wouldnt just give it to me. I had to make payments to her each month and she wrote me a receipt.

Tough it out Perry, the lessons are priceless.

years down the road you will come across your friends, the ones with all the 'fun' stuff. They will be Irresponsible, loosing relationships, their house and in the pit of despair, Grasping at straws and lost. (OK not all but I bet the ones that never had to work for anything! ) But for the most part, Those who are given everything learn very little and pay for it in the end. You will see that working so hard for what you have is very worth the pain in growth to achieve it. Being given everything you have is worth nothing.

I know! Ive been there! My mom was there for me but I had to work my butt off to just finish highschool. She believed in responsiblities, not handouts. school and 2 jobs is alot to deal with. No, I did not have tuition to pay but I did support myself, paying my own way in every single way.

You would qualify for grants. You dont pay those back. and Student loans are usually more forgiving and easier to pay back. I know this from putting DH through college.

Tiff

 

[Lyle]

It sounds to me like you're looking through the wrong side of the spectrum... You're seeing what everyone else has that you want, and missing all that is in your life now... To be blunt, you're missing the whole point of life and you don't even realize. I'm going to take a stab in the dark and say your walk with God (You Spiritual life/ if you are saved) is kinda on hold. You haven't sought God has you should. This has amounted to the emptiness that you feel now, and the lack of pleasure (It's almost always the same case over and over). The problem isn't a problem with your life, or the lives of others. It's a problem with your heart.
Now I can type till my fingers bleed, but there is nothing I can say that will make this stop. The only thing that will help you know is God, turn to Him and He will sustain you. He PROMISED it. Draw on those propmises now, it's the ONLY way, period.

Also it sounds to me that you are being a bit selfish. You covet what everyone else has and get upset that you don't as well. God has given you life, look around and see the blessings, don't let this rob you. Just because life's hard, doesn't mean you can't enjoy it.....

 

[paul becke]

I loved the bit you wrote about bungling your cheques and having to tear them up, and being lazy, Perry! I do it a lot. Reading your account had me in stitches. I think you've got too good a sense of humour (no less so for being somewhat sardonic) to be as unhinged as you implied. As Aphreal said, it's all character-building that will stand you in wonderful stead later.

You are really under the cosh, work and studywise. I suspect you're more like the Dude in the Big Lebowski by nature than an "Aims of Industry" type. But it was only a film, so tough it out, and until you hit the pay dirt at the end of all that toil.

 

[desi]

Perry all you have to do is pray for God to handle your finances, start cutting unnecessary expenses like cell phone, cut hours to manageable levels and walk on with God. Jesus talks about not worrying about material things as the ' mere birds are clothed and fed, how much better does God treat people.'