Is this normal?

Porn is def not the answer. I'm a man that struggled with porn for yr's and all I can say is seek the Lord with all your heart. PRAY for deliverance from that addiction. and I will be pray for you too.

Lik3 said:

I have an obsession with sex and infidelity. To "relax" me and to calm my thoughts, I look at porn, do online searches concerning infidelity, even put myself into adulterous situations. I wonder how many men I or another adulterous wife would sleep with. This is how I manage my anxiety and how I cope. What are better ways in which to cope? Is this normal for someone who has this problem with infidelity? Oh by the way, I am not married.

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That is really an unusal thought pattern. I think!

I am interested in what you mean 'to relax' or 'manage your anxiety'. Do you mean your anxiety is sexual? Or do you mean just 'in general' anxiety to life?

I know that I have sat with women (I am a guy) and they are quite happy to chat about how exciting it would be to be 'taken' by man/men against their will. Well, not against their will, but they 'pretend to be submissive and without ability to say no'.

So, that may be similar to your thinking.

I think it comes down to you trying to have control of your thoughts and not your thoughts have control of you. It is ok to have thoughts. And a lot of people will say that Satan or demons can indeed put thoughts in people's minds. I dont mean possession or anything. But I can certainly see how a demon could have responsibility for putting thoughts in peoples' minds.

Now, that all said, you do NOT have to accept any thought that comes into your mind. But I think you already know that as you are wondering what other 'stress relief' is available - or better ways to cope.

Oh, I would not be too concerned with what is 'normal' or 'not normal' re thoughts. We all have some thoughts that are really 'out there'. Maybe you are thinking you obtain value or worth from thinking of the abilitiies and power you could have in having men fall for you. I only guess.

But, you understand, I think, that you can have power over these thoughts. To be honest I would tell God 'I know this thinking pattern is not beneficial for me; and I know you forgive me; but I just have it and I am sorry, but please, please help me out in this regard'.

Then, I think you need to listen a lot to what God may speak to you. And you need to really lean on Him for help.

When you find your husband in future, then he will be really happy that you are 100% for him - even in your thoughts. So you can start now, I guess.

I hope my ideas are not too dumb. I hope you realise how great you are the way God made you. And I hope you realise how you have control over your thinking. The thoughts that pop into your mind, should not control you.

Really, really, good luck!

Help others.

Well, it sounds normal. I can see where indulging would feel good. I would tend to think porn, masturbation, and related life situations would make the obsession worse.

Have you considered reading books for people who experience or struggle with infidelity and/or sexual OCD?

I think ur beginning to see the vicous cycle of OCD. But, as a reminder porn and giving into any other lust of the fl;esh doesn't help you at all. You seem divided and I understand the pain. I've been single for seven yr's and I just am now beginning to be happy. Also you have to think of what it does to a family and others around you. I'm no one to talk I have made my mistakes but if your having a conviction over it then I would try therapy and any other means to get to on the narrow path.

I struggle with sexual ocd as well.

I don't mean to be blunt, but I'm wondering what you do with the porn, online searches, and adulterous situations. Does it arouse you?

I'm a bit surprised that you do these things to help cope. Perhaps you could explain what you mean by "obsession." Do you feel desire and temptation? Usually with OCD there is a fear and looking at porn would seem more likely to increase your fear if it were ocd. Are you afraid of something?

When you feel this urge, start praying for God to let the urges go away! Give all of these urges to God! I will pray for you! Also distract your mind with something productive, for instance, working out, reading a book, watching TV etc...