Is this normal?

[Mandy_S]

Is it normal for me to never want to be out of my husbands company..I would be perfectly happy if we were together every single second of everyday..Unfortunatley we have to make a living so he must go to work for 12 hours a day...He feels the same way and neither of us ever go anywhere (other than when he goes to work) without the other..Even to run to the grocery store..We pack up our 5 kids in the car and all go together. Neither of us would even think of going somewhere with a friend without the other one..Our time together when he isn't at work is precious to us..We have gotten some weird looks and feelings from our friends and family members who are also christians because when one of them asks us to go somewhere with them and it is on his time off...We refuse to go. We went through some hard times during the first few years of our marriage until we were both saved, but it now makes for a wonderful tesitmony for both of us..And we finally have the biblical love and admiration for each other we are suppose to..So why all the weird looks from others? Does anyone else have a marriage like this or are we not normal?

 

[Genuine]

I wouldn't say it's abnormal, especially since your husband works long hours. Sounds like your husband is your best friend - I think that's the best kind of husband to have!

Me and my husband are the same way. We have been married for 9 years and would rather spend our time together than off with different friends. We have a Friday date night - we refuse any other invites only on this day. Saturday or Sunday we'll try to fellowship with other friends/family together.

 

[dorig59]

Is it normal for me to never want to be out of my husbands company..I would be perfectly happy if we were together every single second of everyday..Unfortunatley we have to make a living so he must go to work for 12 hours a day...He feels the same way and neither of us ever go anywhere (other than when he goes to work) without the other..Even to run to the grocery store..We pack up our 5 kids in the car and all go together. Neither of us would even think of going somewhere with a friend without the other one..Our time together when he isn't at work is precious to us..We have gotten some weird looks and feelings from our friends and family members who are also christians because when one of them asks us to go somewhere with them and it is on his time off...We refuse to go. We went through some hard times during the first few years of our marriage until we were both saved, but it now makes for a wonderful tesitmony for both of us..And we finally have the biblical love and admiration for each other we are suppose to..So why all the weird looks from others? Does anyone else have a marriage like this or are we not normal?

Yay, I'm so happy there are others! Yes, my husband and I are EXACTLY the same. We'll be married six years this month, so it's not like we're new newlyweds. We don't ever go anyplace without the other, wouldn't ever want to. We even were able to work together for the first three years of our marriage, that was fantastic! Circumstances have changed that aspect, but we still are together all the time when he's not off at work. My husband jokingly say's we're co-dependents, but, hey, it works for us! So the answer to your question is, no, you're not the only ones!

EDIT: Oh yeah, one other thing I forgot to say. IGNORE all those who give you weird looks! They're probably just jealous anyway.

 

[Mandy_S]

Well that's good to know! lol..This December will make 9 years we have been married and I look forward to every year after!

 

[janman345]

Not at all my wife and I are like this. We have our very little issues like me comming back to late from clay pigeions with a buddy but its super rare and thats because I was gone to long for something non work related so I understood.

 

[Lena75]

We're alot like this too! We take the kids with us out grocery shopping once a week and I see alot of families doing the same. We get some weird looks too, from some family members, but I've long since given up caring what they think. We've done this for years and don't plan on stopping. It's called a strong family bond. Enjoy it!

 

[TrustingWife]

Is it normal for me to never want to be out of my husbands company..I would be perfectly happy if we were together every single second of everyday..Unfortunatley we have to make a living so he must go to work for 12 hours a day...He feels the same way and neither of us ever go anywhere (other than when he goes to work) without the other..Even to run to the grocery store..We pack up our 5 kids in the car and all go together. Neither of us would even think of going somewhere with a friend without the other one..Our time together when he isn't at work is precious to us..We have gotten some weird looks and feelings from our friends and family members who are also christians because when one of them asks us to go somewhere with them and it is on his time off...We refuse to go. We went through some hard times during the first few years of our marriage until we were both saved, but it now makes for a wonderful tesitmony for both of us..And we finally have the biblical love and admiration for each other we are suppose to..So why all the weird looks from others? Does anyone else have a marriage like this or are we not normal?

This post brought back the most beautiful memories for me. My husband and I were like this for many, many years and they were the happiest years of my life. Please do everything you can not to let these precious times slip through your fingers. Bless you all.

 

[Hosannainthehighest]

Sounds gorgeous. Great to hear. And if anyone doesn't understand, they probably ARE jealous.

 

[who93]

My husband and I are best friends and we enjoy going everywhere together too. It is nice to see that so many other couples do the same thing. God bless you all!

 

[dallasapple]

My husband and I arent inseperable but we spend a lot of time together and have many times gone grocery shopping together and he one time even attended a baby shower with me.LOL!!(the only guy there)..

Look who cares what people think..its none of there business and as one poster mentioned some of them could just plainly be jelous.Some of them may not have good relationships and just cant understand why ya'll would want to hang out so much.

Also as others have mentioned if he is working 12 hours a day ya'll need that time together.You could even technically be spending less hours together than a lot of the people giving you those "looks" because they may have a few more hours daily during the work week they get with the spouse.

My husband and I have at least 2 or 3 hours every morning together.And another 5 or 6 in the evenings..on a regular basis..(Im talking about waking hours Im not including the 9 or 10 sleeping in the bed together at night..)

So Im one of those complaining I need some SPACE LOL!!!..But I completely understand where you are coming from and I think we are both "normal".

Love

Dallas

 

[Captivated]

Is it normal for me to never want to be out of my husbands company.. Does anyone else have a marriage like this or are we not normal?

It's obviously normal for you ( and others testifying to the fact) so, yes, it's normal. My DH and I are quite different. We enjoy doing things together but enjoy doing things apart too. We both like our own space, have our own friends, and like doing things we enjoy without worrying whether the other spouse is bored or is tolerating whatever it is for the sake of the other. It works for us, just as your marriage style works for you. We're all different, how can there be just one so-called normal model for marriage?

 

[dallasapple]

It's obviously normal for you ( and others testifying to the fact) so, yes, it's normal. My DH and I are quite different. We enjoy doing things together but enjoy doing things apart too. We both like our own space, have our own friends, and like doing things we enjoy without worrying whether the other spouse is bored or is tolerating whatever it is for the sake of the other. It works for us, just as your marriage style works for you. We're all different, how can there be just one so-called normal model for marriage?

What comes to mind is "if it aint broke dont fix it".

I know another couple that sounds exactly like the OP.They have 6 kids..The only time they are ever seperated is when he is at work.Litterally..She stays home with the kids..He is either at work or at home with them..Every outing they ALL go together.(with the kids).Grocery shopping /doctors vistis even.

For a hobby and trying to make a small business out of it..she makes jewelry (she blows glass and metals..AT HOME)..When she takes it to the differnt markets ..they ALL go together.For his hobby he collects guns ..and shoots them..(on THIER LAND LOL)..they go to gun shows TOGETHER LOL!!!

For fun they do things like take the kids to the used bookstores that have childrens areas inside..and they can hang out their for hours and everyone gets to pick out some books.

The only thing I ever heard her complain about is wishing she and her husband had a little more more opportunity to be alone! LOL!(OH and just normal dealing with kids issues and feeling overwhelmed sometimes)I actually met her on a forum years ago..and her husband was even THERE with her!!(I have met them in person as well several times..at a book store we met..LOL(with her husband and six kids in tow)..And I had them over to the house for a visit..


They seem to be very very happy.She did tell me though..People would stare at them..but it was because thats a lOT of KIDS! LOL!!

Love

Dallas

 

[letgoddecide]

You know, I'm SO encouraged by these responses!! Because I got married to my best friend 2 months ago and I was hoping it's still possible to feel such a way in years to come!! Bless you guys You've encouraged me greatly!!
xxx

 

[janman345]

yea that lack of alone time would lead us to unhappyness but thats our marriage style. You could set up a star system so that every time you leave mommy and daddy alone for an hour or so you get a star and if you get 5 or 6 stars you get to go to dairy queen so you have a good romp all week and go to dairy queen on sat.

 

[kisapuckett]

Hi Mandy!

There is absolutely nothing wrong with this. This is awesome that after marriage and 5 kids that you and your hubbie can have this type of relationship. It is important that your spouse is your "best friend" first and this is what you have.

My marriage with my hubbie is very similar to this in many ways and I am going on 12 years!

When we have times of challenge and difficult seasons this is ultimately what sustains us because instead of pulling away from one another, we come together, which strengthens our marriage and allows us to grow into the marriage that God desires for us!

God Bless you and your family!!

 

[kisapuckett]

You know, I'm SO encouraged by these responses!! Because I got married to my best friend 2 months ago and I was hoping it's still possible to feel such a way in years to come!! Bless you guys You've encouraged me greatly!!
xxx

That's AWESOME! Congratulations, this alone is going to really be a great foundation for a wonderful marriage. Continue to grow and enjoy one of God's sacred unions! And remember, that keeping God 1st in your life and as the 3rd cord in your marriage is ABSOLUTELY key!

 

[lucypevensie]

It's wonderful to be each others' best friend, it truly is! Lots of time together is important - quantity time, not just quality time.

I do believe it is important for women to do things with female friends and men to do things with male friends, and niether spouse has to be present at all times. You can do pretty well in marriage without companionship outside your marriage, but your life can be made so rich by the people you know. You don't have to have 100 friends or anything, just a few will do. My husband and I always encourage each other to get out of the house and do something with a friend if the opportunity arises. Frankly, sometimes I just don't feel like going. But most of the time I come home happy to have done it.

I'd be concerned also about appearing to push people away. People will only invite you to join them for so long and after a while they'll just assume you're not interested in them.

There are also times when separation from each other is unavoidable, such as having to travel for work or if the other has to go to the hospital or something. In those cases will the separation be bearable? Or are you so dependent on each other that you cannot be happy without the other for a few days? Would you feel confident that in the event of a separation you could feel comfortable asking others for help if you need it? I ask these questions because I am separated by many thousands of miles from my husband right now. His job has taken him to the other side of the world for 2 weeks. This is difficult for both of us, but I think it would be harder if we were as physically inseparable as described in the OP. What a shock. Yet, we are dealing with it. I have friends and family that I feel confident talking to and asking for help while he is away.

I'm not trying to be critical. Mostly thinking out loud. It's an interesting question. It struck a chord with me because of my and my DH's situation. Made me think

 

[Romanseight2005]

you bring up some good points, but frankly, I don't know how my husband and I would ever see each other if we didn't try to spend most of our free time together. I workout and he doesn't, so when he's off work, I will do that and we are apart for that. He flies his helicopters, but that's just outside near our house. I can join him. Thursday nights we have separate obligations for about 2 hours, but honestly, any more than that would be be too much time apart. I would feel disconnected. What would be a problem is if one spouse wanted more space, and the other wanted more time together.