I have wrote something that discribes the way I feel every night about the girl I'm going to marry in two weeks.
It all starts when you embrace me for the last time and whisper I love you in my ear. As you turn and walk away I feel the lump in my throat begin to form. My heart cries out for one more kiss or embrace but cant have it. I feel so hollow with out you by my side, the meaning in my life has left and took all my joy with her. My senses betray my heart with a fond memory, a hint of your sweet smell, or the angelic sound of your voice.
The worst time of the day is night time when my thoughts turn to you again with nothing to occupy my mind. Many a night have I laid in the darkness that your absence has left me in, hurting, praying, and wishing for you return. My thoughts turn to
what if. What if she doesn't come back? What if shes hurt? Demons torment my soul all night with What ifs. When I do fall asleep my dreams are haunted with thoughts of you. If its a good dream I hate to wake, but a nightmare I wake with a start and want to call her no matter the time. This state the demons love because the terror that is going through my mind and the pain in my heart, either way I roll over and cry myself back to sleep.
Gladly the morning comes and I am haunted by the demons from the night that are only forced away by your voice on the other side of the phone. With one call she quails the fears, the pain, and the heartache. After the call it all starts again. The joy she brought quickly fades and I am faced with the What if demons again. I force my mind to take over for my broken heart, I find things to keep my mind from feeling the pain in my heart. Nothing really works, I feel the pain, anguish I would gladly trade for any type of physical pain. Physical pain you know will go away sooner or later but heartache is with you for life.
When after long agonizing hours pass, the time for your return comes. I count down the minutes until your arrival. And when you are delayed the waves of fear hit like a ton of bricks, I find myself pacing as my mind wonders in horror at what is holding you up. Just at the moment that I think I just cant wait any longer you if by magic appear at my door with that perfect smile and warm embrace.
Is this normal to feel this way, is this love or am I too close or too needy. I am feeling this way right now.
Loneliness
It all starts when you embrace me for the last time and whisper I love you in my ear. As you turn and walk away I feel the lump in my throat begin to form. My heart cries out for one more kiss or embrace but cant have it. I feel so hollow with out you by my side, the meaning in my life has left and took all my joy with her. My senses betray my heart with a fond memory, a hint of your sweet smell, or the angelic sound of your voice.
The worst time of the day is night time when my thoughts turn to you again with nothing to occupy my mind. Many a night have I laid in the darkness that your absence has left me in, hurting, praying, and wishing for you return. My thoughts turn to
what if. What if she doesn't come back? What if shes hurt? Demons torment my soul all night with What ifs. When I do fall asleep my dreams are haunted with thoughts of you. If its a good dream I hate to wake, but a nightmare I wake with a start and want to call her no matter the time. This state the demons love because the terror that is going through my mind and the pain in my heart, either way I roll over and cry myself back to sleep.
Gladly the morning comes and I am haunted by the demons from the night that are only forced away by your voice on the other side of the phone. With one call she quails the fears, the pain, and the heartache. After the call it all starts again. The joy she brought quickly fades and I am faced with the What if demons again. I force my mind to take over for my broken heart, I find things to keep my mind from feeling the pain in my heart. Nothing really works, I feel the pain, anguish I would gladly trade for any type of physical pain. Physical pain you know will go away sooner or later but heartache is with you for life.
When after long agonizing hours pass, the time for your return comes. I count down the minutes until your arrival. And when you are delayed the waves of fear hit like a ton of bricks, I find myself pacing as my mind wonders in horror at what is holding you up. Just at the moment that I think I just cant wait any longer you if by magic appear at my door with that perfect smile and warm embrace.
Is this normal to feel this way, is this love or am I too close or too needy. I am feeling this way right now.