Is this molestation?

[Learningmore]

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[goldenviolet]

your title sounds like you are seeking support from the right forums. bless your heart. if you'd like ideas on where to post, just pm myself, or staffers. xo dee

 

[Learningmore]

your title sounds like you are seeking support from the right forums. bless your heart. if you'd like ideas on where to post, just pm myself, or staffers. xo dee

Thanks for everything Dee. It's just that I had a question and then second guessed myself because I wasn't sure if I posted in the right place. Sexual assault is a huge thing and I don't think that has happened to me.

I am struggling with alot of things recently and i'm trying to find out the root, deal with the here and nows, and then improve myself.

 

[bubblefish]

*hug*

Welcome to the forums! I am not sure exactly what is going on, but if you ever need someone to talk to you are more than welcome to PM me!

Blessings,
Katie

 

[Learningmore]

*hug*

Welcome to the forums! I am not sure exactly what is going on, but if you ever need someone to talk to you are more than welcome to PM me!

Blessings,
Katie

Thank you Katie, I really do appreciate it. I wasn't going to post this here but here it goes...

When I was 4 or 5 years old, my older sister (13 or 14) had me and my middle sister (7 or 8 years old) to grope each other or simulate sex during play time (I didn't even know what sex was). There were times we had no clothes on. We continued doing this i think until i was like 8 years old. It is very vague to me and that is a part of my life I don't remember much. I do know it happened. Although me and my middle sister are close we have never talked about it.

There was also a few times in my teen years when fitting us for clothes (we can all sew) she would cup my middle sister's breast in her hand. For what I don't remember and I think she had done it to me. She also "playfully" kissed me once in the kitchen and said eww afterwards and walked out. I felt confused and wondered what happened.

When I got to be about 17 years old my oldest sister informed me that she was molested as a child.

I don't know what else happened, honestly there are things that were a blur and i'm only 24. It has been bothering me for years.

Is this molestation? This is a serious question... I feel stupid as i am writing this and wondering if I am maybe inflating this in my mind. Any thoughts would help.

 

[Learningmore]

Thanks for listening

 

[goldenviolet]

hey hun. sadly, no matter what your sister was doing, it is invasion. the age gap says to me that either she was confused or someone was confusing her/ ofcourse it sounds like both. siblings take things out on eachother. sometimes there is no intent to hurt, but exsperiment or a type of acting out. but no matter what was behind it, it is inappropriate. it's sad no one was there to catch it and help everyone sort it out. it's not too late for seeking counsel. either together or apart. things like this leave questions and feelings that really only a knowlegeable specialist can help you sort out in detail. but there's healling. some children act out the abuse they are being taught. even though they themselves are victim to the same. and even if these children don't have the intent to harm; accountability is still a good thing. i guess now you need to exsplore how to get help in mending your confusion. i'm a big fan of seeking professional knowledge and support. you can get alot from fellowship here on the boards, but seeing an inperson pastorial counsellor, or regular counsellor is really the wisest choice. if your ages were closer, i think i'd not be as concerned or thoughful. but on an age gap as this; you being practically a baby, and her being puberty aged... it does sound highly confusing... and i'm not surprised you still have confusion and feel violated. i'm sorry this type of hurt is in your family. alot of us certainly understand from our own family's trials. xo dee

 

[Learningmore]

See the age gap is what gets to me and her having been molested as a little girl.

She also exposed me to porn when I was about 9 or 10, smoking cigars and cigarettes, and drinking.

I quit smoking when I was 14 years old. I had tons of suicidal thoughts but not anymore. I think I do need some counseling though....

 

[goldenviolet]

any time you need my shoulder, just call. xo dee

practice filling up on God's promises...
practice applying them to your life...

​

 

[calledchuck]

I agree it was inappropriate. I think it's a VERY VERY VERY wise deecision to seek counselling.

I'll be praying for you.

Im here, as well as Dee, if you need anything.

-Chuck

 

[Duffy70]

I think the word molestation tends to imply that the behaviour was intentionally vindictive. It sounds like your sister was incredibly confused - perhaps she was trying to take control of what was happening to her? Much of sexual abuse is to do with gaining control over another person, so maybe she was imitating her abusers behaviour in order to try and make herself feel more secure? To be honest, it sounds as though the entire affair is pretty ambiguous in terms of her motivations.

What is evident, however, is that she behaved in a way that distressed you and that alone is reason enough to seek help so you can find peace on the matter. One of my good friends who's training to help sexual abuse victims once told me that the first thing you learn when going into that sort of work is that it does not particularly matter WHAT happened to the victim - the way in which they respond to it is what needs paying attention to. If it bothers you, it matters and you should feel you can seek help for it. God bless and I hope things get better for you.

 

[myanchor]

Yes is was molestation. Both you and all of your sisters need counseling. Has she told you who did it to her?