I have been married for 6 years and we have been together 8 we have 2 kids together 5and 7 and a 10 years old stepson. My wife wanted a divorce 2 years ago around the same time of year and I begged her to try to save the marriage and she said she see if things got better. We had our ups an downs in the marriage and said mean and hurtful things to each other. I forgave but she brings up things from 7 years ago and say I can forgive but never forget.She had a bad childhood growing up being adopted and always compared me to her dad when I would correct the kids or just parenting in general. She would always say that she have to protect the kids and nobody was there for her when her dad spanked her and made her sad. She sought help with a therapist and the lady said that she should take medication because she always feel attacked and when she do that she tends to disconnect with people(post tramatic stress disorder). She got upset with the lady and never met with her since. I am very active in the church and I read my bible daily and try to live a saved holy life. She stopped going to church with me about 3 years ago because some members offended her and I think thats when satan divided my house. She said she didn't need to go a church foundation because Jesus knows her heart.We always disagreed when it came to what the kids should watch on TV because I was going by Gods word not the world. When I tried to become a tither she said I need to take care of my family instead of putting that much money in the church. Everytime she felt overwhelmed and stressed out I would try to talk to her about Gods word and she would say that she didn't want to hear my bible talk and she can't even tell that I am a christian. Everybody see the good in me but her and she told me about 3 months ago that she didn't love me anymore and she wants a divorce. I cried and begged her for about 3 weeks and all I got was rejection it's like she didn't even care about my hurt and pain. Now I have been living by myself for about 2 month and I still srtuggle with how can a person I love so much seperate my family and hurt me like this. She told me that the marriage to her is just another sheet of paper and I shouldn't look at her as my wife anymore and she is moving on with her life. I think she is seing someone else because my kids are always being watched by the babysitter. Any advice for this broken man?
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Is this God will?
- Thread starter Magun
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- Dec 18, 2005
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All I can tell you is to pray. As far as the titheing, I don't believe in titheing because the Bible doesn't say to do that - and more specifically, Jesus did not say to do it. God loves a cheerful giver, and how can one be cheerful if they can't pay their bills or buy the necessities? Few people can afford to tithe. It seems most of the things you are doing are the right thing, and trying to save your marriage. Perhaps you can keep doing that, but you must also put this into God's hands. God does a better job of it, and believe me I had the hardest time with this, but it works. May God bless you. I will pray for you. 
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thepianist
Well-Known Member
Magun said:
I'm so sorry for your situation.....it sounds to me like she just doesn't love you anymore (if she ever did)....and that's such a terrible thing, especially with children involved. That is who separation and divorce are the hardest on......the kids.....and the poor little things are completely innocent. They didn't ask to be born. My advice to you is to pray hard about the whole thing. Unfortunately, it doesn't sound like your 'wife' is saved or wants to be - just like she doesn't want to be your wife. Please know that you will be in my prayers. 
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little esther
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- Jan 10, 2005
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hi and welcome
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revjayman
Active Member
Magun said:
The pain and suffering we experience in this life is becuase of sin being entered into this world, not by our own fault. God gives each of us the gift and power of 'choice'. We choosee which way to go and God will provides the outcome, provided that we are in His moral will. I don't believe that God has a very specific will for our lives, meaning a SPOT and if we get off the spot we are outside God's will. That teaching I don't believe in. But God moral will is his commands and his instructions in the bible. Some suffering I beleive is allowed into our lives, so we get down on own knees and seek our heavenly father. Let face it, when things are going well we are not always on our knees.
Your wife is probaly dealing with some painful and unresolved issues and unforgiveness from your possibly childhood past.
You are not alone, we just had a brother from my church get up in front of the congergation crying telling everyone that his wife is leaving him with no explanation, other close brothers came up and put their arms around him in support.
I would encourage you to embrace your close brothers of your church and lean on them and help them pray with you through the pain.
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Magun said:
Why did you move out? She sounds like a real jerk. You guys were in love at one point and that's how you had kids and got married, so it must be in there somewhere. Have you asked her about counseling?
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Sorry to hear about your situation. May I ask you a couple of questions:
-what kind of help/support are you getting from your church
-do you have some Christian friends you can talk to?
You are in a tough, tough situation and you need all the support that you can get. Us guys, like to go it alone and that is not the Christian model.
I will pray for you, your wife and your children.
-what kind of help/support are you getting from your church
-do you have some Christian friends you can talk to?
You are in a tough, tough situation and you need all the support that you can get. Us guys, like to go it alone and that is not the Christian model.
I will pray for you, your wife and your children.
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indagroove
Senior Member
lourie said:
Kind of sounding like that.
Your wife is correct about one thing, Jesus does know her heart. The trouble is, it does not sound like she knows Jesus. And this will have to come first.
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