Is this a sin?

[Rosa Mystica]

Hi all,

I have a question. As far as I know, it is wrong to think about committing suicide. But, is it still wrong if your suicidal ideation is the result of a mental illness (which is the case with me)? I've not only thought about it, but have tried to convince myself to attempt it. I know I wouldn't be like this if I wasn't clinically depressed, and I'm not even sure I can help this kind of thinking b/c of my condition.

Any input would be great.

Thank you,
Rosa

 

[MParedon]

Catechism of the Catholic Church

2282 If suicide is committed with the intention of setting an example, especially to the young, it also takes on the gravity of scandal. Voluntary co-operation in suicide is contrary to the moral law.
Grave psychological disturbances, anguish, or grave fear of hardship, suffering, or torture can diminish the responsibility of the one committing suicide.

What concerns me about what you wrote...

I've not only thought about it, but have tried to convince myself to attempt it. I know I wouldn't be like this if I wasn't clinically depressed, and I'm not even sure I can help this kind of thinking b/c of my condition.

was the part where you say you have tried to convince yourself. I think that an active and conscious effort to convince yourself is different than getting thoughts in your head that you can not help or control.
Either way the first thing to do is to get help, go to a priest, and I think both he and I would recommend not only religious counsel, but going to a psychiatrist.

 

[ukok]

I would imagine that the sin would be knowing that you could seek help on this matter and refusing to aid yourself. I would urge you to seek the advice of a priest and also a counsellor.


It seems like a lifetime ago, now, but many years ago, i was clinically depressed, thought continually about ending my life and attempted it on more than one occassion...i can not tell you how close i came to losing my life, just take it as read, that i did.

There is a way through all this, continue to put your faith in God. Even when you don't trust yourself, Trust Him. (and seek the help of those on this earth with the compassion and skill to help you through this)

Had anyone told me all those years ago that i would have children and live a relatively 'normal' life, i would have thought them insane ~ after all, i spent my days plotting ways to end my life without hurting the feelings of my loved ones and carving my arm with a razor blade!

Please don't allow this to fester within you, i have lost friends and very dear loved one's to suicide....i can not tell you the pain i carry in my heart each day as a result of it.

I will pray for you, and please feel free to pm me anytime at all.

 

[Rosa Mystica]

I am already seeking psychological help for this.

Thank you for your support.

Rosa

 

[Aaron-Aggie]

 

[Michelina]

If you are already on an anti-psychotic medication, you might want to ask your Physician to fine-tune it.

Both the idea and what might seem to you 'your active participation' derive from the imbalance in your brain chemistry and are not sinful. This is an illness - not a sin.

Frequent reception of Holy Communion is the Best Medicine for you, ALONG WITH whatever your therapists prescribe.

Praising and thanking God for your life and all that He has given you is a much better way to spend your time than anything else.

And you can praise and thank Him all the time, even when you are doing other things.

 

[ShannonMcCatholic]

I don't think any thoughts are sinful per se. It is what we do with them once they enter our consciousness. Do we refuse to give consent to a harmful thought (though it may take all our energy to refuse that consent) or do we allow ourselves the pleasure of dwelling on the harmful thought.


I am like a broken record with this book- but I highly recommend the book I Believe in Love by Fr. Jean C.J. d'Elbee--- it really goes into the depth of Jesus' mercy and love. And it talks about not giving consent to temptation, and how to go about doing that. I firmly believe that all mental illness is exacerbated (not caused by that, but made worse) in a deep sense of feeling unloveable.

In the Sacred Heart of Jesus,
Shannon

 

[Michelina]

Mental illness involves not only ideation but also irrational impulses that derive from an imbalance in the brain chemistry. These are not normal "temptations" and it should be made clear to those who suffer from this syndrome that the problem of impulses do not derive from the will but from an objective, biological disorder. Folks suffering from this do not need Guilt to be added to their burdens.

I have known several people with these disorders and know the suffering is worse than any level of physical pain.

 

[Michelina]

I Believe in Love by Fr. Jean C.J. d'Elbee

Sounds like my kind of book. Thanx, Shannon.

 

[Mulutka]

I don't think that I can add anything else to what people have already said, but I still want to add some stuff...

I want to extend my friendship to you though. If you need to talk to anyone, please don't ever hesitate to send me a pm. Okay?

Mental illness is such a difficulst issue since mankind is only just learning about chemical imbalances and all of the many many different causes for it. For some people, this is due to being bi-polar (which was only recently 'discovered' in the eighties), for others it stems from being riddled with guilt and not accepting God's love (I'm going to check out Shannon's book too).... what's really frustrating is that since doctars are only just begining to understand this field, many of them are getting causes of mental imbalances all mixed up: resulting in them perscribing the wrong medication.

My sister was diagnosed as border-line bi-polar and took a slew of horrible pills (one of them actually rotted her teeth!). After about 5 years of this the doctars found out that she actually has a hypo-thyroid! For 5 years she was so depressed only to find out that, by no fault of her own, she was being given the wrong meds. But there is so much hope now.

I'm not telling you about my sister to get you even more depressed, I'm telling you it to give you hope. If the meds you're taking right now aren't cutting it, DON'T GIVE UP!! You may simply need more doctar's opinions. But if you're harbouring any guilt or pain from past abuse, no amount of pills will help you. I took a bunch of prozac a while back, hoping that it would help me with my low self esteem (eating disorders) but it didn't do a thing. I had to come to terms with the root of my problem (I've resolved my past issues, all due to God strenthening me and showing me how much He values me).

I still get horrible thoughts though.. but that's not a fault of my own. I know Satan wants to see me caught up in guilt trips and feeling awful again, but that's just because he knows that he's lost his power over me. Now when he puts bad thoughts into my head, I try to think about how Jesus had felt. There are so many passages in the Bible that tear me all up-> Jesus felt really depressed too. It isn't a sin.

Think about how he must have felt when John the Baptist died... all Jesus wanted to do was go out on a boat, alone, and just moarn. But Scripture tells us that a great crowd followed Him, and met up with Him on the shore! He just couldn't get a minute by Himself: how frustrating that must have been!

Think about Jesus' great love for Jerusalem..
Jerusalem, Jeusalem! You kill the prophtes, you stone the messengers God has sent you! How many times have I wanted to put my arms around all your people, just as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you would not let me! Luke 13:34

Also, remember how Jesus wept over Jerusalem...
He came closer to the city, and when he saw it, he wept over it, saying "If you only know today what is needed for peace!... Luke 19: 41

How lonely and depressed Jesus must have been while praying in Gethsemane .. seeing his disciples sleeping at the hour of His greatest need. Having Peter, His 'Rock', denying him three times! ... I could go on and on but I think I've been blabbing enough.

I'm sure you already know/understand how much Jesus suffered for you (and how He gladdly accepted this suffering because of His great love for you!!) but I think it's still good for you to be reminded about it. Sometimes we all need to just let misery enjoy company, but let that company be Jesus (as cheesy as that sounds). When you start getting those thoughts (suicide) look at these passages. Quoting scripture is a great way to make bad thoughts flee.

 

[ShannonMcCatholic]

Please, please let me know what you think after you read it!! It was the first book my brother's spiritual director gave him upon entering seminary- and my brother gave it to me this past Christmas. It rocked my world--I think I have always been a little skeptical about God's love for me(also struggle with my mental health, was raped, struggle with my anger, etc.)-- but this book discusses how throughout the epistles we are called to be confident in God's Mercy. The ideas are presented through the writings of little St. Therese and it just changed my life and my faith and my prayer life so extraordinarily!

Happy and Blessed reading!
Shannon

 

[Michelina]

Extraordinarily Beautiful post, Mulutka.

 

[Mulutka]

Thank you Michelina! I have to give God all the credit though (of course).

To be honest, I really do struggle with depression.. but it's so nice (comforting) to know that others are struggling with it too. That probably sounds weird (since I really wouldn't want someone to feel sad)-- what I'm trying to say is that it's good to know that when I fall into depression I know that it's not because I'm not Christian enough (since other Christians have to deal with this too), it's because I'm human and I'm longing for home.

More passages that make me all weepy and comforted (basically all of Romans makes me all teary-eyed)....

Those who are led by God's Spirit are God's children. For the Spirit that God has given you does not make you slaves and cause you to be afraid; instead, the Spirit makes you God's children, and by the Spirit's power we cry out to God, "Father! my Father!" Romans 8:15 (I got all choked up just typing that. Such a great gift Jesus has given us to be children of God!)

Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will. Romans 8:23-27