Is this a sin??

[Jeimy]

I'm married for 2 years now. What i mean by married is that we r blessed in a church, but because of legal papers we couldn't get married legally ( singing an agreement). We are doing our best to do this part.
And we r going to a church for nearly 2 years now. And now the problem is that the paster's wife i going around telling everyone that we are living in sin and that they should not visit us at home. Her point of view is that we shouldn't have an sexual relationship with one another untill we marry legally.

Now i'm wondering is this legal marriage such a big deal?? Is this really a sin??? and what would your advise be??

 

[mamaneenie]

To be honest I am not sure. Is there another pastor or church leader you could ask? My thinking would be is that if you have been blessed in the church, and doing what you believed from God and the leaders (apart from the pastor's wife) to be right by God, than that is not a sin.

What reason (if you don't mind me asking) is it not a legal marriage?

It can be hard when the pastor's wife is saying things about you, but your real friends will stand by you.

 

[katelyn]

I think it depends on the reason you can't legally get married. But I don't understand why the church would bless you, and then the pastor's wife would turn around and say you are living in sin. That is strange.

 

[IslandBreeze]

I guess I don't understand why you're unable to "legally" get married...

 

[JillLars]

There are a lot of people who can't get legally married because the legal implications would cripple their finances. I know this from experience, and its really easy to pass judgment until you have been in that situation. I don't think there is a problem, you and your wife proclaimed your committment to one another in front of family and friends, and most importantly, God. Your pastor's wife needs a talking too, even if she does disagree with your choice, she has no right to go around spreading gossip about you.

 

[Jeimy]

I cant get married because I'm from the Dominican Republic and I cant get hold of a birth certificate. This nearly impossible to get.. And this is the only reason why we're not legally married as yet.

 

[katelyn]

I think if you were blessed in a church, as a public announcement of your commitment to being married, then they should be more understanding.

 

[Peter]

I don't recall Jesus, at the wedding He attended, asking the bride and groom for a legal document.

Aside---I've always found it amusing that in Protestant weddings the pastor begins by saying "We are gathered in the sight of God and man..." and ends with "With the power vested me by the state of_____."

Peace.

Peter

 

[openeyes]

So the pastor's wife thinks it takes a government to affirm "what God has brought together"?

 

[lands21]

I am always amazed at how poorly churches handle some situations. I do not have any advice that I can back biblically, but my initial reaction would be to enjoy your sex life, it was a gift from God given to us to have in marriage!! So enjoy!

I would also pray for the pastor and his wife.

 

[looksgood]

Last I knew the page that said marrages (spelling?) in the bible was a legal document. I heard all u do is sign your names and have 2 wittnesses sign it. Heard it was legaly binding. It would make since after all. The government has no power to join two ppl together in HOLY matramony. Only GOD can.

 

[JillLars]

Did the pastor you have now bless your marriage? If so, his wife needs to respect that decision, it is not her place to undermind his authority as the pastor of a church. Just curious.

 

[49erfan]

There are a lot of people who can't get legally married because the legal implications would cripple their finances.

Ever heard the vow "For richer or for poorer?"

You don't marry for financial reasons!

 

[JillLars]

I know that you don't marry for financial reasons, but if two old people who can't work get married and lose their pentions, how exactly would you suggest they survive? The legal implications of marriage in society today go beyond the intent that God had for marriage.

 

[stubbornkelly]

Well, personally I believe the state shouldn't be involved in marriage at all, but there's nothing in Scripture to indicate that doing so or the state's requiring it is sin. And we are told that unless a state law conflicts with Scripture, we are to follow it. So I do understand your pastors' wife's concerns.

That said, I don't know of many states that make it mandatory for married couples to "make it legal." For legal purposes, you're not married, but there aren't many states that make it illegal for people to live together or have sex if they aren't legally married.

You might mention that and the Bible's teaching on the subject of state law and God's law and all that. I'd talk to your pastor. I know that at most churches the pastor's wife is treated like an authority, but they aren't. They don't have any church authority at all. It is wrong for her to spread gossip or to act as though she has some sort of church authority when she does not (if she is a church officer, disrgard all that, except the gossip part - such things should be handled privately, even according to the Bible).

 

[thekawasakikid]

Wow! I sincerely hope that the pastor's wife is also gossiping about how you have never been born, so that she remains consistent.

Well, you can't have been born in the same way you can't be married, because there is no legal documentation for either, right?

The bigger issue here is not whether you are married or not, it's that the pastor's wife a) is doing what she'd doing, b) seems to think it's ok what she's doing and c) no-one else seems to be taking her aside about it...

 

[Ajani]

I wonder if her thinking doesn't have to do with the command for us to live by the laws set by our governments? If so, she could still be off base if your particular government acknowledges your relationship as commonlaw.

If you are legally a commonlaw couple in the governments eyes, then she needs to be confronted, IMHO.

 

[Gabriela Barriga]

Listen, God loves us the way we are and he knows we are not perfect.
I know that the Bible does says you can not have any sexual contact with your partner until marriage but as long as you guys love each other and both of you give equal time to God and know that God comes first and you have have received his blessings before you got married, than sister you can rest.


But I also would recommend for to change church do to the fact that; that lady is not acting like a daughter of God beause who is she to judge you and God who is the greatest has forgiven us for our sins, why can she???

 

[Raterus]

Listen, God loves us the way we are and he knows we are not perfect.
I know that the Bible does says you can not have any sexual contact with your partner until marriage but as long as you guys love each other and both of you give equal time to God and know that God comes first and you have have received his blessings before you got married, than sister you can rest.


But I also would recommend for to change church do to the fact that; that lady is not acting like a daughter of God beause who is she to judge you and God who is the greatest has forgiven us for our sins, why can she???

You just committed a very dangerous action as a Christian. You said "I know that the bible says...but". Sorry, there are no "buts" about it when it comes to the Bible. Are you trying to imply that it was ok, as long as you were close to God. You would not be close to God in the first place if you so blatenly ignoring his word!

 

[JillLars]

I don't think this individual is blatantly ignoring God by having his union blessed before engaging in any sexual activities. All rules, and laws aside, God is the one who joins two people together, not the state, or a piece of paper, and it is apparent that this person sought God's blessing in his marriage to his wife, which is more than many people in today's society can claim.