Is This a good thing????

[NoddaProbBob]

I've been thinking lately, and reading some of the posts on here, and I've kinda noticed something about myself.

I'm almost positive that I have just pushed away the abuse from my life.
My abuser doesn't live with us anymore, so I think thats mostly why I've pushed it outta my life.

Not to say it's not there, because it most certainly is there, but not having to see his face everyday makes me feel a lot better.

But what makes me question this ordeal is the fact that I've kinda acted like it never happened, and I see this as a problem, because its almost like I'm in denial, but in a way I don't feel that way at all. because obviously it happened, and I can't change that.

But I think this is also influenced by my parents as well because we have never sat down and talked about it as a family, or anything like that, and I kinda like that we haven't. But its kinda like one of those things, where you're around the feeling so much that you kinda accidentally take upon the same feeling or habit.


Sigh, so I dunno. Im really fed up with my life right now....Im really confused about my life as a whole....

Im sick of who I've become and what I am....and its so easy to say, "Just change it" and if it were, believe me I would have done it already....



Anyone else have any input about this?

 

[restore]

U r trying to hide the feeling, but those hurt still deep down there........

write it out on journal or talk out in a way, no matter how painful or cry out.when u talk it out, tears will help the healing of your heart ,too. then u will go through that memory..this is what i learnt from myself..

 

[NoddaProbBob]

thanks for the advice.

do you have any advice on helping me to make myself cry?

I know that sounds weird. but I used to cry so much, that now, its almost like I've forgotten how to cry.

I've wanted to cry it out for a long time, but I just haven't been able to

 

[Celtic Camel]

For so long I was the same - lived in denial, had no emotions.
I don't know if this makes sense, but ask God to help you release your emotions and to heal your heart. It's a scary place to let yourself go, and may take a while, but I guess just be open to God's prompting with it and don't 'shut down' when emotions do come up again...

Isaiah 30:18 is really helping me right now... to know that I can go to him every moment of everyday and he's just waiting for me.