Is this a biblical teaching?

[Poctim]

Jumping in a little late here, but there were some things I wanted to add

I will use a good example (IMO, anyway). My cousin and her husband lived together prior to being married. She graduated a semester earlier than he did from school and no longer qualified for student housing. They couldn't get married housing b/c they weren't married yet - and he had an apt off campus that his parents were paying for him to live in while in school.

So, my cousin graduated and moved in with him for the semester he had to finish out school.

Now, the automatic assumption would be that they were having sex b/c they were living together and sharing a bed/bedroom. But, I know for a fact that they weren't having sex (she used to tell me everything and he even openly asserted the fact that they were not having sex).

To the outward eye - if she would have come here and posted about an issue they were having, it would have been automatically assumed they were having sex since they were living together...but that would have been far from the truth.

This part of the post does bring up an interesting issue. 1 Thessalonians 5:22 states "Abstain from all appearances of evil". Regardless of whether they were committing sexual sin or not, it still gave the appearance that they were to the outward eye. Even if she were to post here, and it was assumed that they were having sex (which I have no doubt it would have been) the reality still remains that living together is not exactly a good example. This doesn't necessarily mean that "if you live together, you'll automatically have sex" but it does mean that there is a much greater likelihood that something is going on. No offense to your cousin, I do believe you about her not having sex, but don't agree that it was ok to live together.

And this is not coming from a "self-righteous" mentality either, I myself lived with my wife prior to being married, and I honestly regret doing it. Not because I committed any sins, or that it caused me any kind of worldy problems, I only regret it because of the people who looked at me and saw sin. Like it or not, assumptions will be made. By the ignorant and the so called educated, and though some may be totally unfounded, this does not mean that all assumptions are "way off" either.

I'm bothered by the immediate question of "are you having sex" because it gives no one the benefit of the doubt."

For this, I can totally understand why it would be frustrating, but in our society today, trust is earned, not offered. All of us have past, many of us have painful ones and everyone DOES have sin in their past. Many could identify issues to their own pasts, and though that may be considered biased, the advice offered would also be biased as they are based on those people's pasts and experiences.

We live in a world where "the benefit of the doubt" is often regarded as apathy or uncaring, and this has caused many to have opinions they don't necessarily wish to share, but feel they have to.

That's just my two cents, and it is an opinion, but I really do hope that people will stop making assumptions (good or bad) about things, yet at the same time, I do try to understand why they make them.

 

[CaliforniaJosiah]

Does the following statement sound to you as something that could be biblically supported?

"We should fear and love God that we may not deceitfully belie, betray, slander, or defame our neighbor, but defend him, think and speak well of him, and put the best construction on everything."

Yes.

It's very sound, as well.





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[If Not For Grace]

But if they are Christians should we not assume that they are following the sexual morals until they tell us or give us firm evidence that they arn't?

Why assume Christians are perfect? Under this guideline we would have to wonder why people were concerned about anyone delaying anything, I mean based on your statement "if they were Christians" would they(meaning the posters of the threads) just not be trusting God's timing and not be "anxious for anything". (and the Christians would offer that as advice right?)

But maybe they were needing more information? Would we be so quick to jump if they asked, "Are you buying a house together?" It's part of a puzzle that someone asked the forum members to solve. And it's one that has great significance in most cases.

Now, there ^ is a good attitude-even the OP of this thread may have been in the same boat with those he accuses, but then no Christian could possibly do that, now could they?

My Point is only that perhaps we should not be so easily offended at what others do. . .

 

[mkgal1]

But if they are Christians should we not assume that they are following the sexual morals until they tell us or give us firm evidence that they arn't?

No.....we shouldn't assume anything.....that's is just it...IMO. Making assumptions of any kind will normally lead to a wrong picture of things.....not the truth.

We are told to be "wise as serpents......innocent as doves". We are also told that many will name Christ, that never knew Him. And....as If Not for Grace said.....being Christian doesn't mean someone is perfect.

 

[FaithPrevails]

Jumping in a little late here, but there were some things I wanted to add



This part of the post does bring up an interesting issue. 1 Thessalonians 5:22 states "Abstain from all appearances of evil". Regardless of whether they were committing sexual sin or not, it still gave the appearance that they were to the outward eye. Even if she were to post here, and it was assumed that they were having sex (which I have no doubt it would have been) the reality still remains that living together is not exactly a good example. This doesn't necessarily mean that "if you live together, you'll automatically have sex" but it does mean that there is a much greater likelihood that something is going on. No offense to your cousin, I do believe you about her not having sex, but don't agree that it was ok to live together.

And this is not coming from a "self-righteous" mentality either, I myself lived with my wife prior to being married, and I honestly regret doing it. Not because I committed any sins, or that it caused me any kind of worldy problems, I only regret it because of the people who looked at me and saw sin. Like it or not, assumptions will be made. By the ignorant and the so called educated, and though some may be totally unfounded, this does not mean that all assumptions are "way off" either.

I agree that living together, even if abstaining, is not the best example to set..and does open people up to more assumptions being made about them. I simply used them as an example of a couple that would appear to be having sex when they actually weren't.

For this, I can totally understand why it would be frustrating, but in our society today, trust is earned, not offered. All of us have past, many of us have painful ones and everyone DOES have sin in their past. Many could identify issues to their own pasts, and though that may be considered biased, the advice offered would also be biased as they are based on those people's pasts and experiences.

We live in a world where "the benefit of the doubt" is often regarded as apathy or uncaring, and this has caused many to have opinions they don't necessarily wish to share, but feel they have to.

That's just my two cents, and it is an opinion, but I really do hope that people will stop making assumptions (good or bad) about things, yet at the same time, I do try to understand why they make them.

RE: the bolded. I think that God wants us to assume the best about people until they prove otherwise. It doesn't mean we have to blindly trust them or that we don't believe they are capable of sin - we all are - but, how is it possible to operate with a "neutral" mind. "You're not good or bad, you just are." I hope people look at me and assume good things - I try to give them the same courtesy. At the same time, I don't expect them to be surprised when my flaws hang out. lol

I hope that made sense - I feel like I'm rambling.