Is there such a thing as being married in the eyes of Jesus?

[Newway]

I’ve been with someone intimately for over 4 years. I’ve recently come to understanding that I haven't been living in Christ and have been sinning through sex outside legal marriage and also drink. I use to have a very loose view on religion). I want to make changes. I feel conviction. But..

I’m very much in love with this person and am having a real difficult time breaking up, this person is also my only friend. We can’t get married at this time, but it is something we think we will do down the road. I don’t know what to do. Is there such a thing as being married in the eyes of Jesus? Is a legal document a requirement?

 

[trophy33]

I’ve been with someone intimately for over 4 years. I’ve recently come to understanding that I haven't been living in Christ and have been sinning through sex outside legal marriage and also drink. I use to have a very loose view on religion). I want to make changes. I feel conviction. But..

I’m very much in love with this person and am having a real difficult time breaking up, this person is also my only friend. We can’t get married at this time, but it is something we think we will do down the road. I don’t know what to do. Is there such a thing as being married in the eyes of Jesus? Is a legal document a requirement?

You are married when the society around you accepts you are married. It may have many forms (a legal document, agreement between parents, public ceremony, payment to parents for the bride...).

Ask her parents and your government whether you are married and you will know the answer.

 

[tonychanyt]

I’m very much in love with this person

Is this person a Christian?

 

[ByTheSpirit]

I’ve been with someone intimately for over 4 years. I’ve recently come to understanding that I haven't been living in Christ and have been sinning through sex outside legal marriage and also drink. I use to have a very loose view on religion). I want to make changes. I feel conviction. But..

I’m very much in love with this person and am having a real difficult time breaking up, this person is also my only friend. We can’t get married at this time, but it is something we think we will do down the road. I don’t know what to do. Is there such a thing as being married in the eyes of Jesus? Is a legal document a requirement?

Even back in the days of Abraham and the patriarchs, there would be some type of ceremony to consecrate one person to the other in marriage. I don't think having a "legal document" is necessary, but to be married you have to be consecrated to your spouse and usually in front of others.

But I would tell you, based off the information you've shared here, this does not sound like a healthy or wise relationship. One that is founded upon sin and immorality. Jesus calls all of us to abandon our sin when we follow Him, that includes breaking relationships that can lead to sin. Seek Him first, otherwise nothing you do will find favor in His eyes.

 

[Soyeong]

I’ve been with someone intimately for over 4 years. I’ve recently come to understanding that I haven't been living in Christ and have been sinning through sex outside legal marriage and also drink. I use to have a very loose view on religion). I want to make changes. I feel conviction. But..

I’m very much in love with this person and am having a real difficult time breaking up, this person is also my only friend. We can’t get married at this time, but it is something we think we will do down the road. I don’t know what to do. Is there such a thing as being married in the eyes of Jesus? Is a legal document a requirement?

If you say that your are married in the eyes of Jesus, then getting married in the eyes of the state will keep getting pushed down the road and that is a very bad idea because you want legal protections if something goes wrong. For example, if God forbid one of you were hospitalized, then the other would not have the rights of a spouse to be with them or make medical decisions. You should look up common law marriage for the area where you live. It is possible to put a boundary around sexual intimacy while still remaining in a relationship with them.

 

[Newway]

Is this person a Christian?

Grew up as Christian. Now lukewarm, I suppose like myself, I’ve only recently started believing Christianity in full. I feel conviction when I sin, but I’m still having a hard time letting this relationship go. I’m in my 40s. I won’t meet anyone else and she is also my only friend.

 

[tonychanyt]

Grew up as Christian. Now lukewarm, I suppose like myself, I’ve only recently started believing Christianity in full. I feel conviction when I sin, but I’m still having a hard time letting this relationship go. I’m in my 40s. I won’t meet anyone else and she is also my only friend.

Do you both attend the same church?

 

[Ignatius the Kiwi]

You're not married. You're engaging in sexual sin. Do you actually think you can change your ways at this point? She's obviously not going to accept a Christian standard so you have to make a choice. Her or God.

 

[Newway]

You're not married. You're engaging in sexual sin. Do you actually think you can change your ways at this point? She's obviously not going to accept a Christian standard so you have to make a choice. Her or God.

How does one carry that out? I have no friends, when I go t it church I feel like everyone is looking at me and judging because I go alone. I want to be strong, but don’t know how.

 

[Ignatius the Kiwi]

How does one carry that out? I have no friends, when I go t it church I feel like everyone is looking at me and judging because I go alone. I want to be strong, but don’t know how.

I don't have answers for you.

 

[Stephen3141]

I’ve been with someone intimately for over 4 years. I’ve recently come to understanding that I haven't been living in Christ and have been sinning through sex outside legal marriage and also drink. I use to have a very loose view on religion). I want to make changes. I feel conviction. But..

I’m very much in love with this person and am having a real difficult time breaking up, this person is also my only friend. We can’t get married at this time, but it is something we think we will do down the road. I don’t know what to do. Is there such a thing as being married in the eyes of Jesus? Is a legal document a requirement?

Jesus affirmed that there was such a sin as adultery.
So, yes, Jesus believed that there was such a state as marriage.

 

[BrendanG]

Under current law, a husband is legally and literally a slave of his wife. This is because she can divorce him at any time for literally no reason and force him to pay alimony.

I looked up a definition of slavery once, and the definition said something like, "A person who has not been convicted of a crime who is made to work for another." This literally fits the condition of no-fault divorce + alimony. "no-fault" = no crime, and alimony = forced to work for another.

So, I think legal marriage is a mockery of how marriage is supposed to be.

Now, I am legally married, but I only did this because I trust my wife A LOT. If she were to divorce me, however, I'd probably do something like flee the country so that I could not be made to be her slave. But I don't think that will happen.

Modern society is so messed up, everyone has to rely to some extent on his own judgment.

I would say, do whatever is in your power towards the end of having a proper marriage. If there is some kind of legal limitation preventing you from marrying, then you may consider just having a ceremony, and vowing to be together.

IMO, marriage is essentially a sexual commitment. If you were having sex exclusively with each other and doing your best to love each other, then I think the only thing you did wrong is not plan in advance for your relationship and formally consecrate it. It would seem to me that if your relationship is healthy, then leaving her would in itself be a kind of divorce. You are in practice already married, even though you are not formally married. If you think it's possible for you to live righteously with your current partner, I'd not recommend separation. I'd recommend doing everything in your power to make your relationship be like how marriage is supposed to be.

 

[Riot42]

Marriage ceremonies today in no way reflect that of Jesus day, infact back in his day we were expected to go build a house for our bride to be..

There is no scripture that outlines any requirement for marriage, just that you are married. In my state of Texas we have common law marriage in that if you live together longer than a year and have witnesses that you have claimed publicly to be married you are legally married to the point you can get a legal divorce.

This is my relationship, we have been together raising children for 5 years but due to covid and now money we havent been able to have the ceremony, but we call each other husband and wife, and the holy spirit does not convict me of sin in this regard.