• Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.

  • CF has always been a site that welcomes people from different backgrounds and beliefs to participate in discussion and even debate. That is the nature of its ministry. In view of recent events emotions are running very high. We need to remind people of some basic principles in debating on this site. We need to be civil when we express differences in opinion. No personal attacks. Avoid you, your statements. Don't characterize an entire political party with comparisons to Fascism or Communism or other extreme movements that committed atrocities. CF is not the place for broad brush or blanket statements about groups and political parties. Put the broad brushes and blankets away when you come to CF, better yet, put them in the incinerator. Debate had no place for them. We need to remember that people that commit acts of violence represent themselves or a small extreme faction.
  • We hope the site problems here are now solved, however, if you still have any issues, please start a ticket in Contact Us

Is there really a difference between "us" and "them"?

BeautyForAshes

Senior Veteran
Sep 19, 2004
4,080
311
Kansas
✟35,736.00
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Private
Politics
US-Others
Question.....

If a single non-believer were to read the post/threads in this forum, do you think that our light "shines" enough that a non-believer would be able to distinguish this forum from a secular one (think of some other singles web forum)? :scratch:

Besides the fact that we call ourselves children of the Most High God, are we REALLY representing those characterics and traits in not only our posts, but also in what we are seeking from a mate (if its God's will for us to have one)?

Just asking...... :wave:
 
  • Like
Reactions: markdw82

markdw82

Active Member
Jan 5, 2005
96
9
Illinois
Visit site
✟261.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
I should certainly hope so, otherwise, we're not living as God wants us to. I'm not sure what verse it is, but one of them in the New Testament, in a book by Paul, says something to the effect of, "They will know we are Christians by our love." :) So, if we treat each other with respect and love, they ought to notice something unique and positive about us. They ought to see the difference, and want what we have.
 
Upvote 0

Macrina

Macrinator
Sep 8, 2004
10,896
775
✟37,415.00
Faith
Presbyterian
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Others
I don't think we are all that we can be in this respect... but I do think we are headed in the right direction. I appreciate you asking the question, though, because it encourages us to remember that in addition to being an online community, this is a *Christian* community.
 
Upvote 0

StephanieD

Active Member
Dec 19, 2004
209
16
46
Visit site
✟22,922.00
Faith
Non-Denom
I think many of us are coming from fairly common perspectives if we have the same foundational faith base. I think people are doing a good job of giving good advice, even if they don't agree. I don't see many people tearing one another down for differing opinions. Can you think of anything else that needs to be done?
 
Upvote 0

2Timothy2

Rangers Lead the Way
Aug 20, 2004
2,655
147
58
Texas
✟3,603.00
Faith
Protestant
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Republican
I think the way we interact is good, and it is certainly cleaner here. However, the subject matter leaves a lot to be desired. Does anyone else notice the focus on the physical? Or the lack of focus on personal growth in our relationships with the Lord?
 
Upvote 0

BeautyForAshes

Senior Veteran
Sep 19, 2004
4,080
311
Kansas
✟35,736.00
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Private
Politics
US-Others
2Timothy2 said:
I think the way we interact is good, and it is certainly cleaner here. However, the subject matter leaves a lot to be desired. Does anyone else notice the focus on the physical? Or the lack of focus on personal growth in our relationships with the Lord?

This is what caused me to ask this question.I was going to add it to my OP, but I wasn't sure if it was just me reading too much into it.

Now, I don't want to start a "physical attaction is necessary" debate, but I have noticed this too, even in threads that are not a "looks vs personality" topic. I'm also a member of a non-christian message board I was amazed at how alike the post were in terms of the physical. There was little or no difference. It got me to thinking...if both message boards were placed side by side, could I tell the difference?

Interesting......
 
Upvote 0

boilerblues

Well-Known Member
Jul 4, 2004
802
78
49
Indianapolis, IN
Visit site
✟23,829.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
I think all of us are asking the same questions, but the way many of us respond to questions are very different from "them" I think that's what sets us apart. We're all stuck in the same world and deal with the same problems, but how we respond to those problems are very different.

It's also important to remember that everyone here is at a different stage of the journey to Christ. Some people are just starting, some people have been on it a while. We can't expect a newbie to approach things with the same maturity as someone who has been in the church for 20 years. I think a good deal of the people here respond in a very mature manner and I think that clearly sets this place apart from others.
 
Upvote 0

carmi

Well-Known Member
Nov 1, 2004
14,033
386
✟16,723.00
Faith
Baptist
Marital Status
Single
2Timothy2 said:
I think the way we interact is good, and it is certainly cleaner here. However, the subject matter leaves a lot to be desired. Does anyone else notice the focus on the physical? Or the lack of focus on personal growth in our relationships with the Lord?

The "single ministry" is not the only board on this website. Along with it you have "Christian Advice", "Deeper Fellowship", not to mention discussion forums on Bible subjects etc.

And I do see many of the posters in this single ministry forum over on these other boards. I'd say they do have focus on personal growth in their relationships with the Lord.

But other than having a focus on the Lord, they have their humanity and they have their single state ... being human means having a physical body. After all the work is done, people sometimes need a place where they can be human ... at least for a while.

Dealing with your physical body does help, it keeps pressure off people. We are to confess our faults to each other. And if people talk in here about physical things, physical attraction ... isn't that a way of saying out loud "I am still dealing with it". To put a stop to it, a complete stop would deprive some of a place where they can say: "I'm human. I have a weakness."

I'm not saying there shouldn't be any spiritual threads on this single board. I'd agree they are needed here as well.

I am certain that none of you wants to scold or reprimand (can't think of any better words at the moments, I don't mean to sound so stuffy) but I think to have only threads focusing on the spiritual would lead to some going to non-Chrisitan boards to discuss matters. I am on a few non-Chrisitan boards and I do encounter Christians there.

I know I am human. I know my frailties and weaknesses and my wordly thoughts. And so does God. I know that God knows about it. I could hide it from other believers. On the other hand being able to display it here, gives me the opportunity to get help and encouragement, to get the input of those who have overcome things that I am still dealing with. Because I do notice that even if the thread starts of focusing on the physical, quite a few step in and post something that "redirects" it to the biblical, spiritual view.
 
Upvote 0

hischildsindik

Freckles
Jan 18, 2004
732
39
55
Iowa, USA
Visit site
✟31,084.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Republican
I think there is a fine line between "us" and "them" and I don't even like using that type of wording. In God's eyes, we are all His children, just some have accepted His free gift of salvation and some have not.

On some topics it is easy to see the 'Light of God' shining in our attitudes and words and not just our avitars or signatures. On others, it's not a matter of shining or not shining, just the fact that no matter our salvation standing we can all struggle or rejoice in similar manners. I've seen threads in this section and others that I would be ashamed of saying are on a Christian site. I would hope those would be few and far between, but I can't always say that. And yes even within the "Christians only" section of this site.

I think we need to remember and keep remembering we are all God's children. He loves us all as His children and gave us all the free will to choose the free gift of salvation in Jesus. It's not just about treating other Christians and showing our light among ourselves, but it's loving those who choose not the free gift of salvation and continually being a blessing to them as well.
 
Upvote 0

nhzname

Work in progress ... Phil. 1:6
Oct 21, 2004
2,647
72
Vancouver
Visit site
✟33,205.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
hischildsindik said:
In God's eyes, we are all His children, just some have accepted His free gift of salvation and some have not.
Forgive me if I sound abrupt, but according to 1 John 5:10-12 ~ Anyone who believes in the Son of God has this testimony in his heart. Anyone who does not believe God has made him out to be a liar, because he has not believed the testimony God has given about his Son. This is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have life. Yes we are saved by grace, but it is through faith! [Ephesians 2:8]

John 1:12 says Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God– and also again in Romans 8:16 ~ The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children.

My understanding of these Scriptures is that it is only through accepting Christ that we become children of God. How can the spirit testify if we haven't received? Therefore to say that we are all children of God but some haven't accepted His free gift of salvation is contradicting what the Scriptures clearly state.
 
Upvote 0