Is There No End?

[NoddaProbBob]

So sometimes I do this to myself when I need time to think...
I kinda sit alone, and step back from my life and look upon me and just think.... kinda like, "me" time...

Well I was thinking the other day, and Im having a hard time right now.

I hate that I can't change what God has put in my life, and the person he put here to do it to me.
So as I "step back and look" upon my life I ponder,
I really feel like all I will ever be able to title myself as, is the girl who was abused by her brother...

I just can't get over the fact that this is who I am.
And so much has been taken away from me that I won't get back, I hate it so much...

and there is no end, or nothing that I can see...and it hurts..

 

[InTheFlame]

OK... one thing I know for sure? You're not defined by that experience. You've been changed by it, that's for sure. But if you let God lead you through it to healing, you'll be able to look back and see that the pain and crud have been changed into something that blesses others, and makes you a strong person.

But I know that when you're in the middle of the struggle, someone telling you about the light at the end of the tunnel can be a real pain in the ***...

 

[Cassiopeia]

So sometimes I do this to myself when I need time to think...
I kinda sit alone, and step back from my life and look upon me and just think.... kinda like, "me" time...

Well I was thinking the other day, and Im having a hard time right now.

let's take this bit by bit...first... I am sorry you are struggling so.

I hate that I can't change what God has put in my life, and the person he put here to do it to me.

While God has created you and your brother, he did not put him there to do this to you. Your brother is making HORRIBLE choices and you are getting the brunt of it from what you are saying. Have you spoken to your parents? Authorities? If you would like to discuss this further in private feel free to PM me. I just want you to know, that you don't have to take it. You do not have to be allow his victimizing you . But I would need to know more details to help you stand up for yourself and put a stop to it.

So as I "step back and look" upon my life I ponder,
I really feel like all I will ever be able to title myself as, is the girl who was abused by her brother...

I just can't get over the fact that this is who I am.
And so much has been taken away from me that I won't get back, I hate it so much...

and there is no end, or nothing that I can see...and it hurts..

You need to chose today who you will see yourself as. You are not the sum of your suffering. And while you may not be able to undo what has been done...you can leave it behind you and move forward and start the healing process.

I pray that you will find the courage to believe in yourself and to look beyond what others might say to you or how they might treat you. That is about them. Not you.

 

[texannurse]

"You need to chose today who you will see yourself as. You are not the sum of your suffering. And while you may not be able to undo what has been done...you can leave it behind you and move forward and start the healing process. "

SO much easier said than done! I myself struggle with this on a daily basis. I sure feel like the sum of my suffering, especially when it just gets too hard to bear. I don't understand either, noddaprobbob. All I see is the abused me, the hurting me and my understanding of others' reactions to me are based in that understanding.

 

[Cassiopeia]

"You need to chose today who you will see yourself as. You are not the sum of your suffering. And while you may not be able to undo what has been done...you can leave it behind you and move forward and start the healing process. "

SO much easier said than done! I myself struggle with this on a daily basis. I sure feel like the sum of my suffering, especially when it just gets too hard to bear. I don't understand either, noddaprobbob. All I see is the abused me, the hurting me and my understanding of others' reactions to me are based in that understanding.

While it is easier said than done that does not negate the truth of my words. In my life I have suffered much abuse. Verbal, emotional, sexual and mental, yet that is not who I am. It is what has been done to me. The day you start to heal is the day you seperate who you are from the actions of others. You are not broken, they are. Their reaction of how they treat you is all about them, NOT YOU.

 

[seeking_His_truth]

God Bless you, It will get better, there's only up. Pray to the Lord to Guide you through this difficult time, why i happened i dont know, But I AM does know and one better, he loves you and will stick with you through all of your times of troubles and relfections. My advice, tell people, important people in your life. God Bless You .

 

[NoddaProbBob]

Its so hard to deal with and I just can't seem to bring myself out of whats happened...

 

[UnitynLove]

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