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Papist

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If 'salvation' (or 'enlightenment') or as I see it, connectedness with God, is only for the virtuous, the good, the holy, and the naturally spiritual or meditative, what hope is there for the billions of ordinary people? I love one of the prayers of the Anglican Mass/communion service:

We thank you that while we were still far off, you came to us to lead us home ...

With our limited knowledge, even of ourselves, let alone anyone or anything else, how else are we to find the path to God, without God first coming to us?
 
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BookerB

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Rev Wayne,

Your story is not much different than mine, except I am one of those who grew up in the church, baptised at seven because I wanted to belong to Jesus. I was told by my pastor and more than a few ministers that I would preach the Gospel. But, as I got older that was not what I wanted to do; I saw too many hypocrites in the pulpit. So, instead of going to a methodist school to be trained in the ministry, and since I tore up my knee playing football in my senior year, and since I was called into the ministry, I ran to the army to get away. There was just no way I was going to be a hypocrital minister.

To make a long story short, I ran for 20 years. Drugs were also a big part of my life during those twenty years, but so too was a certain amount of respect and obedience to God's Word, of course in a hypocrital way. I study the Bible and other religions as a hobby, or so I thought. One Saturday night God spoke to me for the third time about coming into his ministry, and added "choose life of death." I said, "me and you Lord," and immediately gave up my career, and everything I thought was important, and answered that call. I went back to school, but I had already been indoctrinated by God's Word. I just did not take well to much of man's teachings in Bible College, and less in seminary. I had already learned much from the Holy Spirit and other spirit-filled teachers of the Lord.

What I am trying to say is that God looks beyond our outward faults to see what is in our heart. He sees what we need. Then he leads us in a direction to overcome our faults and receive what we need. As lust in the heart is non different then the actual outward lust that results in sin, love in the heart for God and neighbor is counted as righteousness before God. Don't try to understand why God does what he does, just know it is all good. If you doubt his MO, try reading the story of Joseph again, as well as Job. He knows how to rid his of pride, ego, and self-righteousness. He knows how to humble us before him and open our eyes to truth. After you have suffered a little while he is able to pick you up, strenghten you, and exalt you.

It was prophesied that I would be in ministry at eleven, I was not going to let that happen. Nevertheless, I am an ordained minister in the Methodist Church. However, my fellow ministers do see me as being different in much of my thinking. Why? because I have been set free from church tradition, and I try not to lean to the misunderstanding of man's religious doctrines. I seek and I find. I ask and it is given. I allow the Spirit of God to lead me into all understanding. I am free to hear the Word of God, no matter how it comes or where it comes from. That's what I learned in the twenty years that, unbeknownst to me, God was still preparing me for his ministry. So, don't take your life for granted because you thought you were out of God's loop -- you weren't.
 
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Rev Wayne

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Booker,

Your story is absolutely incredible. When I told mine, naturally it was the RD "condensed" version, and I left out details. God was speaking to me through every voice that came my way. In the middle of the day my brother came by, and had trouble opening the front door. He said, "What are you trying to do, lock me out?" Only I heard God, "What are you trying to do, lock me out of your life?" Later, watching a football game, seconds left, my team with 4th down, 1-yard line, 3 points behind, took a timeout. The announcer said ominously, "It's DECISION time!" I turned it off. See, I was still fighting. Turned on the radio, and it started with the DJ's words. Started to turn it off, but the thought occurred that He might start just talking out of nowhere, and I really WOULD freak out. So in my spirit I wrestled and argued with Him, posing questions, and the next line of a song or the next thing the DJ said would be my answer. Without missing a beat. Finally, I suppose He got tired of it, my heart started pounding and it felt like a giant fist had just reached inside and started squeezing it. And the voice was there, whether still coinciding with the radio I have no idea, and I don't recall the words, but the gist of it was, "Are you really sure you want to continue this conversation NOW?" And the answer was "WAIT a minnit!" And thank God He did.

I too consider myself a free thinker and one who colors outside the lines quite a bit. I'm not from Missouri, but "Show me" works for me.

It was prophesied that I would be in ministry at eleven,
Eleven, huh? Sounds about right--but it wasn't a prophecy, unless I was the one prophesying without knowing it. I told a fifth-grade classmate I was going to be a minister and he just laughed at me. Strange way God works--later we both became ministers, he long before me, but left it rather quickly. When I came back, I went and witnessed to him. He looked down a lot and said little, so I figure he was running too. If so, I assume he still is.

He knows how to rid his of pride, ego, and self-righteousness.
Tell me about it. When I got back in the fold as a life-long Methodist, I talked to my pastor about the process and found it too complicated, and rejected it. I started attending an independent Baptist church and the pastor there told me if I would let him baptize me, he would have me a church in 2 weeks! Yikes! I didn't want that either, what's with these extremes? The main thing I got at the time was the voice--which whispered in my ear when he said the thing about baptizing me (I had been baptized, but by his thinking I didn't get wet enough). The voice told me, "You don't need his baptism, you've been baptized in the Holy Spirit." That didn't seem so surprising until later, when reading the Word, and I found out that "baptized in the Holy Spirit" was a scriptural term, and I realized that God could tell me things in a way I had never experienced, or not to that level.
But the ego thing, that had to go. I got all spiritually elevated and I knew it too, so I prayed, "Lord, teach me humility." I won't go into the long story of how He did it, but basically I had to learn the hard way, that "humility" and "humiliated" are from the same root. And I still had this idea I was not gonna have to do the preaching thing, which I had found easy to run from, being the quietest kid in the class in school and convinced I could not be a public speaker. Spent 2 years getting an English degree, thinking I was going to a Bible College to be an English teacher. My nephew brought me a paper to help him with, and we went through it thoroughly, when he got it back, he got a D! And during those 2 years I had wrestled some anyway, and I had the idea that I didn't want to do the teaching thing anyway, I wanted to preach. Well, you can imagine the field day He had with that one, showing me that He was able to turn my reluctance into desire. And later He had even more fun in showing me He was going to make a Methodist minister out of me in spite of my objections, as the doors all closed in the other direction. And unlike the old adage that says He will, He didn't even open a window. :)

I am free to hear the Word of God, no matter how it comes or where it comes from.
AMEN! Remind me to share with you sometime my sermon titled "The Gospel According to Pink Floyd."

That's what I learned in the twenty years that, unbeknownst to me, God was still preparing me for his ministry.
Yeah, and I think it was more in the area of discernment than anything else, learning to read people--though not consciously, I don't think I could do that, just a thing that comes intuitively, what I call "knowing things without really knowing them." I used to think intuition was this women's thing, but not always I guess. Maybe I'm "getting in touch with my feminine side."
If I'm hearing you correctly, sounds like discernment was being developed as well.

So, don't take your life for granted because you thought you were out of God's loop -- you weren't.
And a double amen to that one. He never let go. Like the football game a couple of years into the run, me with my long hair and the pilgrim hat, trying to impress a young lady, when she stopped me in my tracks and brought me to a dead silence by saying, "You should have been a preacher." Or the friend a few years later who wrote down some thoughts when she was in a searching time of her life, and I wrote one back to her. She went home and shared it with her mother, who said, "He missed his calling, he should have been a preacher." Or the head-on collision on my 21st birthday, when I lost 10 teeth on my lower jaw, and the chin was crushed so badly the doctors literally had to put it back together the best way they could, piece by piece. And the doctor told me when he came to my room, "Two inches higher or two inches lower, and I wouldn't be talking to you right now. Somebody was watching out for you." As if I didn't know that already, huh? Or how about the time not long before "re-conversion," driving down the road drinking a beer, and I flung the empty can across the cab of my pickup, only to strike the empty metal shell that used to hold my rear-view mirror, and cut a gash on my wrist. Doctor sewed it up and I was told it had 12 stitches. 12--why was that ringing a bell? Oh yeah, that's right, that's how many stitches it had taken to sew up the opposite wrist after I cut it at age 5 when I was in a balancing contest with my brother on the edge of the bathtub and fell, and my arm went through the bathroom window.
After it healed, I had these 2 evenly matched scars, one on each wrist, and God did some weird stuff with them. I had heard a sermon years earlier on the physiology of the crucifixion, in which I had picked up the information that the nails went through the wrist and not the hand (hand bones won't support body weight). And this was the summer before I was to turn 33. Of course, I knew the tradition too, that Jesus had died at 33. And 33 had been on my mind too, John Belushi, my favorite comic, had died a couple of years earlier at 33. I had this dire feeling about that birthday, like something sinister was about to happen, something of spiritual significance. (And of course, later on I did die--to self).
But the most profound of all of them was the halfway point, 7 years in, when I was a drug-addicted, devil-may-care "meth-head," as the speed "needle freaks" were called then. I had lost first my job, then my girlfriend, then my sense (assuming I had any), my self-respect, my friends, and then just when I thought I had hit bottom, I sold the piano. At least there was still a roof over my head. And I consoled myself that I hadn't sunk so low as a friend I knew, whose mother had to have surgery, and when she got out of the hospital she came home to an empty house, as he had sold the furniture. So one night I was sitting there, I had enough money for a fix, but no gas to go get it. My parents lived just up the road, so I got my siphon hose and can and walked up there, was in the process of siphoning some out when I discovered the hard way (or loud way) that my dad had just got him a new Lab retriever. Facing him wasn't exactly a good thing, and I went back home with an even lower self-estimation. I decided this was bottom, and I needed help beyond the ordinary, so I began conversation, for the first time in 7 years, with the one I had started running from. And all I said was, "Lord, I've sunk about as low as I can go. Just give me some kind of sign you still care, or I don't know what I'll do."
When my mom got home from church the following Sunday, she came to see me immediately. She said a man at the church had asked about me, and I could tell by the expression she had as she relayed the message, that this man had had a genuinely serious concern about me. Then she told me he had woke up in the middle of the night earlier that week, and was overwhelmed with the feeling that I was in some kind of trouble. When I asked what night that was, and she found out for me, I compared notes and found exactly what I suspected: it was the very same night. The thing that still amazes me about it now is, after that kind of prayer and response, how in the world it took me seven more years before everything sunk in and produced any response.
Gee whiz, look at this post! I didn't mean to write a book, let me edit it and give you the short version:

He was there.
 
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BookerB

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Rev Wayne,

Likewise, go and read the story of the thief on the cross. Which of them was justified, and for what?

We know which was justified, but we don't know for what. Only God knows that, because he looks beyond our outward faults and sees what is in our heart. The thief's heart was a reflection of his life, not just the period of time he was on the cross. There are a few stories told about this thief's encounter with Christ, outside of the Scripture of course. Whether they are true or not is of no importance, unless one does not know that God looks at the heart of man, and not at his outward mistakes.

The propensity of man is to make mistakes, err in judgement, be easily fooled, and to think more of himself than he ought. Therefore, if man was judged by his outward deeds, we would all be in trouble. But, thanks be to God that we are judged by what's in our heart.
 
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peaceful soul

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origianlly posted by BookerB

However, my fellow ministers do see me as being different in much of my thinking. Why? because I have been set free from church tradition, and I try not to lean to the misunderstanding of man's religious doctrines. I seek and I find. I ask and it is given. I allow the Spirit of God to lead me into all understanding. I am free to hear the Word of God, no matter how it comes or where it comes from.

You really nailed it, BookerB! In many ways, you are just like me. I am a God man. I do not pay much attention to what man says, except for thoses who I know that God has called to minister to us. Those I respect, but I always confirm what they say by God's word. It is amazing how much of Christendom is under the influence of awkward theologies, traditions, and culture that have nothing to do with God or His word. Unfortunately, too many doctrines based upon for, example, Calvinism have such a foothold on our thoughts and how we see God. Anyway, that is for another thread.

That's what I learned in the twenty years that, unbeknownst to me, God was still preparing me for his ministry.

I know that God is preparing me for something, but I do not know yet what it is. I really do not care; for I am just ready to serve Him in whatever He puts upon me. Our attitudes have to be set right. I can surely testify to what you have said.


So, don't take your life for granted because you thought you were out of God's loop -- you weren't.

Try telling a non-Christian that: especially an atheist. :)
 
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Marth

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saying that christ was only important when he died or the such is so cliche...his teaching were a vital role in his death, if he hadnt taught anything at all there wouldnt even be christianity. well let me say that another way, if jesus didnt teach or did miracles (me grammar not good) and then eventually started proclaiming he was the messiah then crusified then there wouldnt even be christianity, jesus wouldve just been proclaimed a loon. his teachings are just as important as his death...
 
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Rev Wayne

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his teachings are just as important as his death...



And will you accept all His teachings, or just the ones that go along with you? He did say, after all:

"Except a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain. . . Now my soul is troubled, and what shall I say? 'Father, save me from this hour? But for this purpose I came to this hour. . . And I, if I am lifted up, will draw all peoples to myself. This He said, signifying by what death He would die." (John 12:24, 27, 32-33)

It's pretty hard to say, "We'll accept Jesus' teachings as important, but not His death as more important," when it seems that He taught so. Besides, it would be a cruel sort of Father who would bring about a death like that of His Son without any reason.
 
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BookerB

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Peaceful Soul,

I know that God is preparing me for something, but I do not know yet what it is. I really do not care; for I am just ready to serve Him in whatever He puts upon me. Our attitudes have to be set right. I can surely testify to what you have said.

Praise God! Hang in there. The steps of a righteous one are ordered by the Lord.
 
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Tobias

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Ok, let me elaborate.

I too was called to ministry as a child, God specifically let me know at age 15. I have always said yes to the calling, though. Still, though I have been mostly faithful to Him in this area, He has insisted that ministry can wait until He works the bugs out of my life. I have followed His leading in so many areas of my life, and can see the work that He has done and am thankful for it. I'm glad that I followed Him instead of going to Bible school against His wishes and putting myself in ministry before His timing.

I am now 39 yrs. old. I wonder when (if ever) this calling will come to pass. My theology has been so screwed up by God that I don't think any church group out there will ever accept me. I realized with all the hype about "The Passion" that I don't really care to see a movie about His death -- I could care less. Christ's teachings are what's important to me.

I guess I'm just in a season of theological questioning. God has put me here, and He will lead me through it. I have always been aware of a higher calling behind what He leads me through, and am encouraged that He will be able to use even this to help others some day.
 
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BookerB

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Tobias,

I am glad that my post turned out to be a meaningful testimony to you and others. It's funny in a way, because that was not my intent. It was simply to let Rev Wayne know that all that we go through makes us what we are now. May God bless you greatly in his ministry; it sounds like you are on track. I am glad that you have not submitted to mainstream theology, but are a student of the Master Professor.
 
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Rev Wayne

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Tobias,

Glad there was something there to benefit your spirit. And like Jesus told the early disciples, "Tarry at Jerusalem until you receive the promise of the Father," just continue to wait on His timing. Like the hymnwriter said, "Jesus doeth all things well," and that includes His own time and purpose.

I went through the waiting experience on another issue. I never really had a love relationship that lasted any length of time and was lonely and hurting for a number of years. I put it in God's hands, but it seemed like the answer was still just "wait." Upon coming back to the fold, God gave me a sign by which I would know when I met the one He chose for me. It was less than a year when the answer came, and the almost immediate accompanying word that came with it was, that I would still be waiting at least 5 more years before marriage would be a possibility. Those years went by quicker than I ever imagined, and now, with 3 adorable kids, each of them with a unique story that gives testimony to God's love and grace, I would wait a thousand times over any waiting I had to endure, to see God's plan come together rather than go off on my own agenda.

Whatever God has waiting for you , it will be worth it when He has revealed it to you. You have my prayers, and God bless.

Wayne
 
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