Sex before marriage seems to emotionally cause problems to many people as well as physical problems like STDs. It seems like most married people I know say that they wish they had waited to have sex until they were married. None of them seem to say they are glad they didn't wait to have sex until they got married. So what is the right answer when it comes to sex before marriage?
Is sex before marriage a stupid idea?
- Thread starter Gabe7
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Sex is brilliant, as long as you're responsible and mature about it. I don't regret losing my virginity for a second.
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Fenny the Fox
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I don't think a blanket statement of "stupid", "bad","good", etc. really should apply. As it is, many people do not at all regret having sex before marriage, and many again do. IT is too personal to make any blanket statements, I feel.
If one is safe, STDs need only be a small possibility, the same for pregnancy. And if one is discriminate in whom one chooses to have the experience with and all that, the emotional problems are also highly reduced. So I see no need to call it "stupid" overall.
If one is safe, STDs need only be a small possibility, the same for pregnancy. And if one is discriminate in whom one chooses to have the experience with and all that, the emotional problems are also highly reduced. So I see no need to call it "stupid" overall.
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This reminds me of people who drink or smoke weed. They just love it and its great and they don't see anything wrong with it in spite of some pretty big potential adverse consequences.
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Eudaimonist
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Such as? And are we talking about casual sex or sex in loving relationships?
If you are still keeping score, I'm married, and I'm glad I didn't wait.
How religious are these people?
For me, it was yes.
eudaimonia,
Mark
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Me and my girlfriend are both disease-free, and we use contraception. What likely adverse consequences are there?
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plindboe
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I'm guessing this person thinks that sex before marriage equals casual sex with lots of people, which would explain why he thinks that sex before marriage has the side-effect of STDs.
Personally I don't think a marriage license has anything to do with STDs. Avodining unprotected, casual sex is how one avoids STDs.
About causing emotional problems, I'm not sure what he's smoking. I'm having a wonderful life with my gf, even though we don't plan on getting married. Why some people think a ceremony and some signed papers is necessary to be able to have a healthy relationship is beyond me.
Peter
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selfinflikted
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Ayersy
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Perhaps it's because we enjoy it and don't see anything wrong with it? As a heavy drinker, I have to say, I don't really see a problem with it. I know it's not brilliant for my health, but I never wanted to live that long anyway, so it's kind of a plus in that respect.
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jayem
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My wife and I were both kinda old fashioned. We didn't hook up till our second date. And we dated for a year and half, and then lived together for another year and a half before we got married. And in June, we'll celebate our 24th wedding anniversary. Which is more than can be said for a lot of so-called Christians.
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If Not For Grace
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I did not wait nor do I regret it any more than any lie I ever told or having gosspied, been overweight, etc.- the only thing I can see where you might regret it, is that what you are subject to find out is that "all men are NOT created equal" & how sad or regretful it might be to know the man you love was lacking on that end. So Ignorance might be bliss.
PS-the only STD I ever had I got from a man I married (of course that was when I had quit using "protection" thinking I was "safe"-I was wrong).
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Is it stupid? Depends on the people involved, their ages, and their ability to handle the consequences of sex. If they are the age of majority and able to handle an unplanned pregnancy (or in some cases a planned pregnancy) then all the more power to them. Your question does not only apply to teenagers, but also to adults who may be well over 18, but single. If they can handle the consequences of their actions, I don't consider those actions stupid assuming its a legal act between consenting adults.
If we're talking kids who are 15 and still live with mom and dad and have no earthly way of taking care of a child on their own, then yeah I'd consider their actions stupid. But again, birth control does fail. They could have been as careful as possible, yet still end up pregnancy. As we know, abstinence is the only way to ensure against an unplanned pregnancy and many STD's. But I wouldn't consider that situation stupid either, mistakes do happen regardless of how informed we are.
I would say the level of stupidity of a situation is too dependent on the factors and people involved. I don't think it can be overgeneralized to the degree in which you present.
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JadeTigress
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I certainly don't regret being unmarried and sexually active. If I have any regrets about anything, it's that I didn't get started sooner (didn't lose my v-card until just before I turned 21).
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DaisyDay
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Sex before marriage doesn't cause STDs - viruses and bacteria do.
If I had married before having sex, I would have had some really bad marriages.
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JadeTigress
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Really? My high school sex ed teacher lied to me!
In all seriousness, though, that is pretty much what we were told. "If you have sex before you're married you WILL get STDs and you WILL get pregnant." I'm glad I'd already educated myself long before that class.
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Same thing as with the sex, if you handle it responsibly there is nothing wrong with it. There's nothing wrong with extramarital sex if you protect yourself and your partner while keeping the social context in mind, there is nothing wrong with a couple of beers with your friends from time to time and there is nothing wrong with the occasional joint. As for the "big potential adverse effects", that's where the responsibility part comes in. Your best friend probably wouldn't appreciate it if you got it on with his girlfriend. You have to keep in mind that drinking shouldn't affect your personal life in a negative way and that it can become an addiction if you overdo it. In the special case of weed there is from a medical point of view so far no convincing evidence for such adverse consequences - at least not compared to other more hardcore drugs like caffeine - as long as you don't do it to an extend where your social and professional life is affected negatively.
A general moral judgment about a specific action without considering any details is never helpful.
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Skaloop
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Exactly; potential adverse consequences. Millions of people drink and smoke weed responsibly, with no real adverse consequences. The same goes for sex.
Furthermore, there are several things that also have potential adverse consequences, but they aren't considered "stupid" or "wrong", and are sometimes even lauded when people choose to do them. Jogging regularly can have adverse consequences, especially if not done responsibly; fatigue injuries to joints, foot pain, etc. Using the proper equipment can help alleviate those risks, but not elininate the. Likewise, child-birth has potential adverse consequences, but when a married couple chooses to have a child, nobody suggests they are wrong for it due to the inherent risks.
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