is not looking constitute doing nothing?

[christsoccer]

I am interested in trying to go out on dates but I have been given one piece of advice that says 'stop actively looking'. Now would that be the same thing as not doing anything?
Do I actively search for a mate through friends, or web sites or other methods or do I wait on God to bring people into my life that I think would be a good match and ask them out.

thanks for your advice and prayers

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Well my Pastor told a group of us Singles to "Live not Look" and by that I took it to mean don't have that as your primary focus. Live your life and if you meet someone that you want to ask out do it, but don't look at events like "hey maybe I can meet someone".
God could literally drop someone from the sky if He wanted to. It's not likely that it will happen that way.
Consider the story that is making headlines today of the Soldier who stepped on an IED an lost his legs. If he hadn't lost his legs he never would have met his wife and he says he would not take any of it back because of that.

Soldier family photo goes viral

So my advice is not to necessarily "search" but if you meet someone by all means ask them out.

 

[Purge187]

A common phrase I hear and read being thrown around is, "You'll find your mate when you stop trying to find your mate." But I haven't really seen anything in the Bible that supports that claim.

As MBM said, just go about your business and keep your focus on God, and while checking out profiles on a dating site for a few minutes a day seems alright, don't make finding a mate a priority. He doesn't like competition.

 

[blackribbon]

I think "actively looking" actually makes it harder to find someone because you are analyzing everyone who comes in your life as "good mate material" or not and often pass by people who don't meet your preconceived ideas of what you think you are looking for.

 

[dayhiker]

Well, I'm not looking for a wife, but I do enjoy GFs. So I have actively looks for GFs this year and I've had 4 and could have had 20 GFs if I'd wanted to I think. Now some places I would have just meet friends, but some places the women were definately more interested in finding a guy.

But God can do it either way as far as I can till. There is not verse in the Bible that says find a wife this way. So find the way that works for you and ask God to lead you as you go looking or not looking. But then again, Jesus did say seek and you show find.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

I just say that seeking God should be our first priority not looking for a mate. It's not bad to look, but if you are hunting then you are out of balance. For women I've heard of them referred to as having desparate eyes or hungry eyes, IDK for a man, but if your thoughts are consumed by meeting women, or finding a mate, I'd say your priorities are a little off. But if it's a casual run thru the sites or while you are out, I don't think that's bad.

 

[dayhiker]

I guess I think I can seek God and look for a GF at the same time ... heck, the more girls I date the more people are going to hear about how I love Jesus.