Is Masturbation When Your Husband Can't Satisfy You OK?

[janny108]

what do you think of masturbation when your husband has erectile dysfunction and does not get help for it? I let him touch and kiss me but it's ultimately not the same

 

[mont974x4]

Biblically and practically I see no problem.

 

[freeport]

what do you think of masturbation when your husband has erectile dysfunction and does not get help for it? I let him touch and kiss me but it's ultimately not the same

There is no rule against masturbation in Scripture. Just make sure not to have adulterous thoughts behind it.

The best way is to stay away from sexual thoughts completely. But that is difficult for people to do.

 

[Johnnz]

Intercourse is something special. But sexual activity is wider than that. Many couples facing that problem engage in other sexual activitiy, including mutual masturbation, and feel quite fulfileld by their continued sexual activity. It's certainly better to enagage in some mutual activity than solitary sex if both of you can agree that's where it's at.

John
NZ

 

[mont974x4]

OS is a viable option but that is not the subject of the thread.

 

[spr]

Deu 23 10 If one of your men is unclean because of a nocturnal emission, he is to go outside the camp and stay there. 11 But as evening approaches he is to wash himself, and at sunset he may return to the camp.

Even unintentional emission is unclean, or sin, outside of marriage. And if it is within marriage and doesn't tend to childbearing:

Gen 38 9 But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so whenever he lay with his brother's wife, he spilled his sperm on the ground to keep from producing offspring for his brother. 10 What he did was wicked in the LORD's sight; so he put him to death also.

So then, the only biblical way to release if one can not contain is within marriage with the intent to procreate.

 

[mont974x4]

We are not Jewish nor are we under the OT Law.

Sex is for pleasure, procreation, guarding against sin, and unity. touching yourself is perfectly acceptable.


Onan's sin was in not giving an heir to his brother by sleeping with his sister-in-law.

Archaic and unbiblical legalism concerning this issue has been built on faulty exegesis and misapplication of key Scriptures.

 

[mont974x4]

my hope is to foster a better understanding of biblical truths.

IN relation to the Law (all Scripture is from the NASB)

Gal 3:10 For as many as are of the works of the Law are under a curse; for it is written, "CURSED IS EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT ABIDE BY ALL THINGS WRITTEN IN THE BOOK OF THE LAW, TO PERFORM THEM."

Gal 5:1 It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.



As to the issue of sex....do an in-depth study of Song of Solomon. I suggest finding a resource that helps you understand Jewish poetry and imagery. The idea that sex is purely for having kids is unreasonable and unbiblical. Of all the reasons God gave us sex He devoted a whole book to sex for pleasure, as opposed to the other reasons receiving passing thoughts in tidbits here and there. That alone should tell us something.

 

[freeport]

my hope is to foster a better understanding of biblical truths.

IN relation to the Law (all Scripture is from the NASB)

Gal 3:10 For as many as are of the works of the Law are under a curse; for it is written, "CURSED IS EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT ABIDE BY ALL THINGS WRITTEN IN THE BOOK OF THE LAW, TO PERFORM THEM."

Gal 5:1 It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.



As to the issue of sex....do an in-depth study of Song of Solomon. I suggest finding a resource that helps you understand Jewish poetry and imagery. The idea that sex is purely for having kids is unreasonable and unbiblical. Of all the reasons God gave us sex He devoted a whole book to sex for pleasure, as opposed to the other reasons receiving passing thoughts in tidbits here and there. That alone should tell us something.

Just a note: I agree with you. I sometimes point out that the point of sex is to have kids, but not to that crazy idea as some take it. (That people should not enjoy it or something, or that using birth control is sinful.)

(Just as the point of union of man and woman is to 'produce godly offspring'. Some have clearly taken this and warped it into some unnatural, by doing such things as banning the use of condoms or birth control.)



OP:
On the unclean law:

We are clean under Christ, so that is that. Many bodily functions are ugly, if one thinks about it, or puts it that way. OTOH, it is amazing the body can digest food, gain power to move our complex body with, and then discharge remnants of it. Farting, for instance, some feel very ashamed about, but as a great psychologist once pointed out... it is actually an amazing physical function that that part of the body has the capability to effectively separate solid material, liquids, and gas to actually expel the gas.


On the guy who pulled out... I agree with this poster. It wasn't that he pulled out that was the sin.


Masturbation is very common, if God wanted to declare it bad, He very well could have directly. He did not.

 

[TheDag]

I'm not a mod so you can feel free to ignore this but there is not supposed to be debating in this forum only responses to the OP.
It would be a shame for the lady seeking advice to be denied it because the thread gets closed.

 

[Rhombus]

I don't think masturbation is wrong for you. Masturbation is wrong when you're having adulterous thoughts. If you're masturbating while having sexual thoughts about you and your husband, I see absolutely no problem. If you're having adulterous thoughts, that's a different story. Also, even though your husband has erectile dysfunction, how is it not the same? I mean, can't he help you touch the same/just as good as you touch yourself? I understand him not seeking to get medical help for his problem is probably putting a lot of strain on your relationship, but it's no excuse to solely turn to masturbation. There are other things married couples can do. Anyways, best of luck, I don't think it's wrong as long as you are not having adulterous thoughts.

 

[janny108]

There is no rule against masturbation in Scripture. Just make sure not to have adulterous thoughts behind it.

The best way is to stay away from sexual thoughts completely. But that is difficult for people to do.

Seriously I'm not thinking of anyone when it happens.

 

[janny108]

What I meant was I'm not thinking of anyone outside my husband. He took the patch but stopped because of reactions he was having to it.

 

[Franklin777]

doing things that seem rather unintentional but could very-well tease the heck out of him. Then, if he wants to do something- blow him off as if you haven't even noticed his attention. Well, maybe I'm just twisted but I think there's some potential for mischief in that scenario.

Men, as far as my experience tell me, like variation and for the woman to shock them every once in a while and do something they never expected.

 

[Macx]

What I meant was I'm not thinking of anyone outside my husband. He took the patch but stopped because of reactions he was having to it.

Given the parameters you have laid out in this thread, there is nothing to feel guilty about. This can't be easy on him, please include him as much as possible in your activities . . ..

(unless you are my ex-wife that left me for an older man with more money . . . in which case I'd say, I have had two beloved, perfect kids and a happy sex life since you been gone, sorry things didn't work out on your end and the upgrade to you loves me for who I am)



P.S. Seriously, I don't think the OP is my ex, nor do I think she has anything to be ashamed of. Just wanted to throw some humor into an otherwise . . . not fun for anybody kinda topic.

 

[andreha]

what do you think of masturbation when your husband has erectile dysfunction and does not get help for it? I let him touch and kiss me but it's ultimately not the same

Remember, the Holy Spirit guides you in all truth - so if it doesn't feel wrong, don't worry.

 

[Sketcher]

"But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." - Matthew 5:28

This is why I, as a single person, cannot rightly touch. But so long as somebody is thinking about their own spouse (and is not denying their spouse of the genuine article), it's fine because you cannot commit adultery with your own spouse.

 

[andreha]

"But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." - Matthew 5:28

This is why I, as a single person, cannot rightly touch. But so long as somebody is thinking about their own spouse (and is not denying their spouse of the genuine article), it's fine because you cannot commit adultery with your own spouse.

Hey Sketcher

I had a quick look at Mat 5:28. It looks like the original Greek for Woman comes from a word that means Wife - as in married woman. Which makes sense, I think - because how is it possible for 2 unmarried people to commit adultery? The original greek word is gunē or goo-nay' and the meaning is given as "a woman; specifically a wife: - wife, woman.". Interesting indeed.

 

[janny108]

I would agree

 

[CuddlyBear]

I see no problem with your doing that and you shouldn't feel any guilt. The sin of Onan was refusing to do his duty and father his brother's child, not masturbation. It is more unbiblical for your husband to not seek help. Masturbation, if not accompanied by sinful thoughts, is just a physical release.