Is It Wrong

[Introverted1293]

Will it be wrong for a believer who is male to move in with a non believer to be a female?

OK let me rephrase this in a different way. Is it wrong for a believer to move in a girl he is not attracted to and would never be tempted to sleep with her because he sees her like a sister to move in with her?

Now, I struggle with my faith, but I am working on that.

 

[friend of]

I would say no.

 

[Tolworth John]

Will it be wrong for a believer who is male to move in with a non believer to be a female?

OK let me rephrase this in a different way. Is it wrong for a believer to move in a girl he is not attracted to and would never be tempted to sleep with her because he sees her like a sister to move in with her?

Now, I struggle with my faith, but I am working on that.

What you are or are not doing is not as important as what other people think/believe you are doing.

Paul wrote aboutweak Christians being adversly influenced by the actions of strong Christians.

You may live along side a girl without any sexual activity, but you may influence a weaker Christian to try and fail.

There is also your witness as a Christian. You know there is nothing between you and your flat sharer but other will think there is.

The simple answer is don't.

 

[High Fidelity]

This is a really frustrating issue.

Personally I'd be very uncomfortable with marrying someone I hadn't lived with because I believe there's a lot of truth to the phrase "you don't know someone until you've lived with them". However, even in the absence of sin, the appearance of sin is to be avoided. So despite two people not committing sin, society assumes foul play and therefore it ought to be avoided.

So the conservative answer would be no. The liberal answer may be a bit more forgiving, but it's down to your own study, prayer and discernment to determine which is right or wrong in this instance.

Either way, it's incredibly frustrating because to judge others is wrong yet the wrongful judgement of society is somehow valid in this instance. It's annoying.

 

[brinny]

Will it be wrong for a believer who is male to move in with a non believer to be a female?

OK let me rephrase this in a different way. Is it wrong for a believer to move in a girl he is not attracted to and would never be tempted to sleep with her because he sees her like a sister to move in with her?

Now, I struggle with my faith, but I am working on that.

Your answer has already been given to you. It's in God's Word.

 

[Roseonathorn]

So if it is ok for You it might still not be ok for her by some reasons. Or it might be. There are reasons to consider. First. Does she feel tempted by You? What is her goal? Is she lying about it? Is she a bit afraid of You and moves in because otherwise she risk homelessness? Then maybe You could pray about another solution. Is she secretly considering You as a future husband but want to know Your habits as a friend first, like those habits and those stuff You would hide to a future wife like porn for instance. You might be careless with her since You do not feel affection for her yet and Yes she might get to know You better than most girls so then the girls would either assume You are together and You would not find a woman that You love or maybe some woman would ask her all about You and find out, but personnally I wouldn't normally think that a man coliving with a woman is open to another relationship. I would think they are either getting to know each other or the woman is getting to know the man before She decides if He is good enough to try to attract. But I also know from experience in 5 years that people living closely together can have a privatelife and still hide quite a lot of personality because of rules, regulations and discipline. However I think it might be very smart to go through some fights with the man one decides to marry and have some situations where both are very angry and frustrated before the marriage instead of after so one can decide if one can handle the outbursts and solve the problems together. Would it not be great if we could invite future spouses to our families and listen to them snore through some nights, then we be better prepared....well no cosleeping I suppose that is a rule. No cosnoring either, You have to tape Him or Her secretly.

 

[Roseonathorn]

Women usually bake stuff, here are my homemade energybars. Make sure she cleans after herself and set rules together.

 

[Dave RP]

Will it be wrong for a believer who is male to move in with a non believer to be a female?

OK let me rephrase this in a different way. Is it wrong for a believer to move in a girl he is not attracted to and would never be tempted to sleep with her because he sees her like a sister to move in with her?

Now, I struggle with my faith, but I am working on that.

How can it possibly be "wrong" to live with a friend of either gender. If you are not in a physical relationship then there is nothing wrong in anybodies measure - surely?

 

[DogmaHunter]

How can it possibly be "wrong" to live with a friend of either gender. If you are not in a physical relationship then there is nothing wrong in anybodies measure - surely?

Neither would there be if there was a physical relationship of mutual consent, but anyway......

 

[Dave RP]

Neither would there be if there was a physical relationship of mutual consent, but anyway......

Indeed, but I was thinking how some Christians would see that as sinning, surely house sharing with friends can never be wrong in Christians eyes?

 

[Nithavela]

Propably not, but why take a chance?

 

[dayhiker]

I say no .. I've had a woman living with me for 8 months now. She had a streak of bad luck and would have been living in the snow bank if I'd not let her move in last winter. She is about half way back on her feet. I'll be glad when she moves out so I have my place back again!

 

[POChrist]

I've been mooching around this particular sub-forum and I think too many people are shunning silly things like this, there's nothing wrong with it. God will look after you i'm sure. How are we going to bring people to follow the faith, if we forget to be human. Maybe you'll convert her.

Good luck.

 

[Tolworth John]

This is a really frustrating issue.

Personally I'd be very uncomfortable with marrying someone I hadn't lived with because I believe there's a lot of truth to the phrase "you don't know someone until you've lived with them". However, even in the absence of sin, the appearance of sin is to be avoided. So despite two people not committing sin, society assumes foul play and therefore it ought to be avoided.

So the conservative answer would be no. The liberal answer may be a bit more forgiving, but it's down to your own study, prayer and discernment to determine which is right or wrong in this instance.

Either way, it's incredibly frustrating because to judge others is wrong yet the wrongful judgement of society is somehow valid in this instance. It's annoying.

Rather than go by feelings or what other people do, why not look at the stats.
link to article:-https://winteryknight.com/2017/08/09/is-living-together-before-marriage-the-same-as-getting-married/
there are 5 points from the stats that show that living together is a bad idea.
Five points:

1. Cohabiting couples are more prone to break up (and break up for good) than married couples
2. Even after marrying, women who cohabitated prior to marriage are more apt to separate or divorce than those who did not.
3. Men who cohabit tend to make less money than their married counterparts
4. Among young mothers, married women are more financially secure than cohabiting women
5. Cohabiting couples report more depression and more alcohol problems than married couples

 

[Tolworth John]

I've been mooching around this particular sub-forum and I think too many people are shunning silly things like this, there's nothing wrong with it. God will look after you i'm sure. How are we going to bring people to follow the faith, if we forget to be human. Maybe you'll convert her.

Good luck.

Why do you think that sexual purity is silly?

Can you provide facts that substantiate that or proof false the fact that sexually transmitted dieases are increasing and are less responsive to antibiotics?

Is the command of God not to have sex out side of marriage a silly idea?

 

[Earatha]

So the question seems to be should two people live together despite what others people might think.

I honestly don't see why not. I guess it depends on the reason. People should try and be independent and take care of themselves. But if you need a roommate to help pay rent or whatever I don't see an issue with it. Just set some ground rules: no nudity in the common areas, who does the dishes, food rules, etc.

And who cares what other people think? You're you. Be true to yourself. People can be judgemental donkey butts.

 

[Phil 1:21]

What you are or are not doing is not as important as what other people think/believe you are doing.

Paul wrote aboutweak Christians being adversly influenced by the actions of strong Christians.

You may live along side a girl without any sexual activity, but you may influence a weaker Christian to try and fail.

There is also your witness as a Christian. You know there is nothing between you and your flat sharer but other will think there is.

The simple answer is don't.

I agree with Paul's premise, but from a practical standpoint, we cannot go through life allowing every choice to be dictated by the hypothetical weakest common denominator. That would result in paralysis.

 

[POChrist]

Why do you think that sexual purity is silly?
Can you provide facts that substantiate that or proof false the fact that sexually transmitted dieases are increasing and are less responsive to antibiotics?

Is the command of God not to have sex out side of marriage a silly idea?

What are you talking about? The questions nothing to do with sex outside marriage. Quote where I said sexual purity is silly. The guy is asking if he can live with another human being who is a non believer in a non sexual way. Talk about being over dramatic.

 

[quatona]

Will it be wrong for a believer who is male to move in with a non believer to be a female?

OK let me rephrase this in a different way. Is it wrong for a believer to move in a girl he is not attracted to and would never be tempted to sleep with her because he sees her like a sister to move in with her?

No - if he isn´t attracted to her, it´s pointless.

On a more serious note:
What makes you even assume that it might be wrong?

 

[comana]

Will it be wrong for a believer who is male to move in with a non believer to be a female?

OK let me rephrase this in a different way. Is it wrong for a believer to move in a girl he is not attracted to and would never be tempted to sleep with her because he sees her like a sister to move in with her?

Now, I struggle with my faith, but I am working on that.

I would say no, but, given the strong stigma of sexual sin or, the appearance of, in Christian circles you may find judgement you don't want to deal with.