Is it wrong to refuse your husband when you just don’t feel like it?

[tonychanyt]

I think so, 1 Corinthians 7:

1Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. 3The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

A husband and his wife should yield to each other and do things for each other and not be selfish.

 

[Maria Billingsley]

I think so, 1 Corinthians 7:


A husband and his wife should yield to each other and do things for each other and not be selfish.

Any husband that forces himself on his wife is the one in error.
Blessings.

 

[Diamond72]

Any husband that forces himself on his wife is the one in error.

Is it the same for the wife that forces herself on the husband?

 

[Plenipotent]

Is it the same for the wife that forces herself on the husband?

I'm no expert, but I would say absolutely. It's my opinion that no one should ever force themselves upon another person.

I recently viewed a video that introduced the concept of thoughtfully planned 'activities' within marriage. It mentioned that some people see it as unromantic, but I thought it was actually a decent idea. It provided an intriguing perspective. However, in all honesty, I believe that the matter is more complex than a simple yes or no response can capture.

 

[Maria Billingsley]

Is it the same for the wife that forces herself on the husband?

Of course if that is even a possibility.

 

[Diamond72]

Of course if that is even a possibility.

Women can be very aggressive. Even the case of Joseph in the Bible. Also, a movie called The Graduate.

 

[Diamond72]

It's my opinion that no one should ever force themselves upon another person.

I worked as a salesman selling home improvement. You would think there is nothing wrong with that. Only there were people that really did not want to buy, but I would talk them into it. Then there were people who wanted to buy, but could not afford it and they maxed out their credit. Only 1/3 of the people could afford what I was selling and really wanted to buy it. IF I only sold to those people, I pretty much would starve and they would have fired me for my sales being so low. As it was I often was a leading salesman.

We see aggressive people here on their forum and maybe I am one of them.
Where they try to force their beliefs and opinions on others.

 

[Maria Billingsley]

Women can be very aggressive. Even the case of Joseph in the Bible. Also, a movie called The Graduate.

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I believe we were taking about marital relationships.

 

[Plenipotent]

I worked as a salesman selling home improvement. You would think there is nothing wrong with that. Only there were people that really did not want to buy, but I would talk them into it. Then there were people who wanted to buy, but could not afford it and they maxed out their credit. Only 1/3 of the people could afford what I was selling and really wanted to buy it. IF I only sold to those people, I pretty much would starve and they would have fired me for my sales being so low. As it was I often was a leading salesman.

We see aggressive people here on their forum and maybe I am one of them.
Where they try to force their beliefs and opinions on others.

In my perspective, that's truly a distinct matter altogether, but I absolutely grasp your point and see where you're coming from. If it helps, I'll add clarity to my position on this particular matter.

I firmly hold the belief that committing any form of rape is utterly wrong, irrespective of gender. I know men who have experienced harm from women, and in my view, it's just as distressing and terrible as when the situation is reversed.

In my faith and understanding, I hold the belief that when two married adults are faced with such matters, they should approach it openly and earnestly, with both honesty and humility. It's my conviction that if someone isn't mature enough to engage in these conversations, then perhaps they shouldn't be engaging in those actions either.

 

[Plenipotent]

I'd like to make a gentle adjustment in my words. Personally, what affects me on a deeper level is when this occurs to men. The reason behind this is the additional challenges men often face due to societal attitudes, as compared to when similar situations involve women. I recall a friend sharing his experience once and telling me that he was mocked mercilessly by his other friends, and it brought tears to my eyes. My faith teaches me that regardless of gender, it's equally wrong, yet when it's men involved, it tugs at my heart even more. It's not that it's any less distressing, but it does strike me differently. I believe this might be influenced by the way society shapes our perceptions.

 

[Divide]

It's not about the husband forcing himself on her, or her forcing herself on him. It's about she yields to him anyway at times when she'd really rather not, but she loves him so is there for him.

I was married for 26 years. So it happened. Sometimes she just didn't feel like it. Other times she might have been sick and it would be rude to push her into it. Sometimes I'd have compassion and let her go to sleep. Sometimes she didn't let me sleep either, lol. But there was never forcing. It was yeilding, both ways.

 

[Plenipotent]

It's not about the husband forcing himself on her, or her forcing herself on him. It's about she yields to him anyway at times when she'd really rather not, but she loves him so is there for him.

I was married for 26 years. So it happened. Sometimes she just didn't feel like it. Other times she might have been sick and it would be rude to push her into it. Sometimes I'd have compassion and let her go to sleep. Sometimes she didn't let me sleep either, lol. But there was never forcing. It was yeilding, both ways.

I agree with this completely.

Yielding is much different than forcing.

 

[tonychanyt]

Women can be very aggressive. Even the case of Joseph in the Bible. Also, a movie called The Graduate.

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Man, that's one of my favorite movies and soundtracks. You must be old like me

 

[Diamond72]

I firmly hold the belief that committing any form of rape is utterly wrong

The state I am in is very strict as to what consent means.

 

[Diamond72]

Man, that's one of my favorite movies and soundtracks. You must be old like me

I think I am 71 or something like that.

 

[Diamond72]

I believe we were taking about marital relationships.

Really, marriage makes people less aggressive? I do not think so.

I do not like rejection. So I allow women to show an interest in me first. As a result I tend to end up with aggressive women. I end up with women who try to dominate the relationship. They want to run the show and be in control.

Actually, I was a single parent for 17 years. But that is another story.

 

[eleos1954]

I think so, 1 Corinthians 7:


A husband and his wife should yield to each other and do things for each other and not be selfish.

If either the husband or the wife don't want to have sex for any reason then that should be respected .... even if it is not understood what the reason is. If it's an ongoing problems then the two should talk about it because there is something larger underlying that needs to be addressed and resolved.

 

[Carl Emerson]

When a partner is driven by lust is when the matter arises.

Better to get ones selfish lusts sorted out with prayer and ministry, then the problem will disappear.

Redemption of the soul changes ones motives from being emotionally driven to being motivated by Agape.

 

[Paidiske]

I don't think Paul is saying here that one might never say, "I really don't feel up to it today, can we check in tomorrow?" but more saying that total withholding as a way of life (especially unilaterally) is not really okay.

I'd like to think that in a healthy marriage, there'd be room for communication and give and take. There'd be room for one spouse to need or want "space," and there'd be room for making an effort when you don't really feel enthused, and what was right on one day might not be right on the next day. Over a lifetime of situations, expecting a one-size-fits-all answer to every possible situation that will arise is probably not realistic.

 

[Carl Emerson]

There is a verse in the Song of Solomon that says it all, and the verse is repeated...

2:7 “Swear to me, you daughters of Jerusalem,
By the gazelles or by the does of the field,
That you will not disturb or awaken my love
Until she pleases.”

3"5 “Swear to me, you daughters of Jerusalem,
By the gazelles or by the does of the field,
That you will not disturb or awaken my love
Until she pleases.”

This is Love...