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Discussion and Debate
Discussion and Debate
Ethics & Morality
Is it wrong to refuse sex with someone you are married to?
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<blockquote data-quote="Larry Mondello" data-source="post: 61102079" data-attributes="member: 297515"><p>OF COURSE I've talked with her, asked her what's wrong, if she's feeling guilty bec. of our premarital sex, etc., as she recently expressed.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Wasn't <em>justifying</em> someone committing adultery, but was merely saying a spouse who plays it cold and keeps their spouse at a far distance in the sexual arena isn't very smart. Said "some" responsibility.</p><p>If a wife only "allows" her husband the "privilege" of enjoying her body maybe 2X a year -- if that -- can mess-up a husband.</p><p> Actions have consequences.</p><p></p><p>The Christian authors I quoted, Dennis and Barbara Rainey, explain what a refusing spouse, particularly a frigid wife, can do to her husband by being stingy and miserly in bed.</p><p></p><p><strong>Rekindling the Romance </strong></p><p>By: <a href="http://www.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/search?author=Dennis%20Rainey&detailed_search=1&action=Search" target="_blank">Dennis Rainey</a>, <a href="http://www.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/search?author=Barbara%20Rainey&detailed_search=1&action=Search" target="_blank">Barbara Rainey</a>, <a href="http://www.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/search?author=Bob%20DeMoss&detailed_search=1&action=Search" target="_blank">Bob DeMoss</a> </p><p> Thomas Nelson / 2005 / Paperback</p><p> <a href="http://www.christianbook.com/rekindling-the-romance-dennis-rainey/9780785285564/pd/85563/1300230345?event=111604SBF%7C31158%7C82680" target="_blank">http://www.christianbook.com/rekindling-the-romance-dennis-rainey/9780785285564/pd/85563/1300230345?event=111604SBF|31158|82680</a></p><p></p><p> </p><p>Lemmee guess here, you've never been married, right?</p><p></p><p>A spouse's body doesn't belong<em> <strong>only </strong></em>to that spouse. Sex is one reason people marry. </p><p>A spouse CONSTANTLY and CONSISTENTLY refusing to make themselves sexually available to the other is playing a deadly game, and causing unnecessary friction and hostility in a marriage, which the refused spouse also shares.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Duh. Men DO ask their wives what's up.</p><p>But the refusers often don't want to talk about it and they recoil and withdraw.</p><p>He fears something's wrong but she won't tell him. He's tried to dig into the problem (many times) but he can't read her mind.</p><p></p><p>She rejects each and every one of his advances.</p><p>That's not good for a marriage.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>That hypothetical man is ME.</p><p>Men DO stake a lot of their emotions in the actions of their wives, as those authors state.</p><p></p><p></p><p><strong>Am so mad about this situation.</strong></p><p><strong></strong> <em>I just wanna to make love with her once in a while and on a "regular" schedule, like weekends. </em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em></em>I read online about the great sex other married Christians enjoy, an area deemed "off limits" to me.</p><p></p><p>Just like when I was single through most of my 20s, particularly 19-25, when "Good Christian women" didn't know I existed, though I was a decent-looking "regular guy" who clearly had their best interests in mind, one who respected their Christian morality and wanted a long-term relationship leading to marriage.</p><p>Acted like a "gentleman" toward them and didn't press them for sex like the other jerks. </p><p>But look what it got me.</p><p> </p><p>Those "Good Christian women," the ones who wouldn't give me a chance -- and women in general -- seemed remote and unattainable to me as well. </p><p>Just like something else is "off-limits" to me today...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Larry Mondello, post: 61102079, member: 297515"] OF COURSE I've talked with her, asked her what's wrong, if she's feeling guilty bec. of our premarital sex, etc., as she recently expressed. Wasn't [I]justifying[/I] someone committing adultery, but was merely saying a spouse who plays it cold and keeps their spouse at a far distance in the sexual arena isn't very smart. Said "some" responsibility. If a wife only "allows" her husband the "privilege" of enjoying her body maybe 2X a year -- if that -- can mess-up a husband. Actions have consequences. The Christian authors I quoted, Dennis and Barbara Rainey, explain what a refusing spouse, particularly a frigid wife, can do to her husband by being stingy and miserly in bed. [B]Rekindling the Romance [/B] By: [URL="http://www.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/search?author=Dennis%20Rainey&detailed_search=1&action=Search"]Dennis Rainey[/URL], [URL="http://www.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/search?author=Barbara%20Rainey&detailed_search=1&action=Search"]Barbara Rainey[/URL], [URL="http://www.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/search?author=Bob%20DeMoss&detailed_search=1&action=Search"]Bob DeMoss[/URL] Thomas Nelson / 2005 / Paperback [URL="http://www.christianbook.com/rekindling-the-romance-dennis-rainey/9780785285564/pd/85563/1300230345?event=111604SBF%7C31158%7C82680"]http://www.christianbook.com/rekindling-the-romance-dennis-rainey/9780785285564/pd/85563/1300230345?event=111604SBF|31158|82680[/URL] Lemmee guess here, you've never been married, right? A spouse's body doesn't belong[I] [B]only [/B][/I]to that spouse. Sex is one reason people marry. A spouse CONSTANTLY and CONSISTENTLY refusing to make themselves sexually available to the other is playing a deadly game, and causing unnecessary friction and hostility in a marriage, which the refused spouse also shares. Duh. Men DO ask their wives what's up. But the refusers often don't want to talk about it and they recoil and withdraw. He fears something's wrong but she won't tell him. He's tried to dig into the problem (many times) but he can't read her mind. She rejects each and every one of his advances. That's not good for a marriage. That hypothetical man is ME. Men DO stake a lot of their emotions in the actions of their wives, as those authors state. [B]Am so mad about this situation. [/B] [I]I just wanna to make love with her once in a while and on a "regular" schedule, like weekends. [/I]I read online about the great sex other married Christians enjoy, an area deemed "off limits" to me. Just like when I was single through most of my 20s, particularly 19-25, when "Good Christian women" didn't know I existed, though I was a decent-looking "regular guy" who clearly had their best interests in mind, one who respected their Christian morality and wanted a long-term relationship leading to marriage. Acted like a "gentleman" toward them and didn't press them for sex like the other jerks. But look what it got me. Those "Good Christian women," the ones who wouldn't give me a chance -- and women in general -- seemed remote and unattainable to me as well. Just like something else is "off-limits" to me today... [/QUOTE]
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