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I agree that those things are all vital in marriage. Waiting for the partner God has for you is also a very honourable trait, though I am not saying that people cannot change, or cannot be forgiven, or cannot become pure through Christ.I think things like compatibility, will the other person be a good provider and/or parent, do I like this person, is this person abusive, does this person have similar goals, etc are more important than where their genitals have been. That's what I believe.
I agree fully. This, Armoured, is what I believe. I never said that purity cannot be obtained through Christ despite our pastI very much agree with this full reply.
However, you do need to understand that the older you get the harder they are to find as not all people feel that same way. For example, I am still a virgin just over two months shy of my 24th birthday, but MANY people my age are not. As I have never been in a serious relationship and realize I am getting older that is off my list of MUST bes that I would NOT marry a non-virginI'm a Christian with that being said I commend you for standing up for Gods way!
I was a virgin until around 22-23ish when I married my virgin husband who was 30 at the time. We both remained pure, BEST decision of my life, I have no regrets.
Honestly I would ask her, I asked my husband when we were courting if he was still a virgin and he was honest and not offended at all. Asking is the only way you could possibly know.
I'm not knocking on those who didn't remain pure, BUT as Christians we have the right to choose to marry only Virgins.
I think the answer would vary depending on who you ask but for many it is two fold...1. a covenant to Love only one in the relationship of marriage and 2. it is an intimate thing that some find distasteful to think about sharing with others. Let me see, how to put this delicately...with the intimacy being "internal" the image of who all you have been with and where all you have been is a turn off for many. It's a kind of purity, not just of the flesh but of the whole person that many people attach to it. Right or wrong, those are the two most common things I have heard. This would include but not be limited to disease and the emotional baggage that comes from previous partners. A 3. would be no reason other than God saying so.What is the fascination with virgins?
The awkward initial sex?
How about the emotional baggage that comes from someone subsiding their sex drive for years or decades in order to stay a virgin?This would include but not be limited to disease and the emotional baggage that comes from previous partners.
Not sure I have heard of such a thing, so I wouldn't guess it would be high on the list of worries. If it was, I would think we would here a lot more about it. In fact, I just did a quick web search out of curiosity and all that comes up is advantages to abstinence before marriage, nothing about emotional stress caused by it.How about the emotional baggage that comes from someone subsiding their sex drive for years or decades in order to stay a virgin?
razzelflabben: I think the main thing is for a believer to want to marry someone who is cleansed by the blood of Christ by faith. It may well involve someone who has not 'been' with some before but not always.Not sure I have heard of such a thing, so I wouldn't guess it would be high on the list of worries. If it was, I would think we would here a lot more about it. In fact, I just did a quick web search out of curiosity and all that comes up is advantages to abstinence before marriage, nothing about emotional stress caused by it.
Well - from someone who has lived thru that scenario - let me tell you it can be pretty bad.Not sure I have heard of such a thing, so I wouldn't guess it would be high on the list of worries.
I totally agree...I also understand how being a virgin would be a testimony to that cleansing. In fact, it's a biblical concept.razzelflabben: I think the main thing is for a believer to want to marry someone who is cleansed by the blood of Christ by faith. It may well involve someone who has not 'been' with some before but not always.
Other then when I was molested, I was a virgin until married at 29, not really any baggage from that purity...not even sure what that would look like other than feeling bad because you aren't like the world, which is suppose to be a concept that is in opposition to the believer. Can you provide some reasons for this supposed baggage I can't find when it comes to being a virgin until marriage? Thanks.Well - from someone who has lived thru that scenario - let me tell you it can be pretty bad.
razzelflabben: Yes, I agree. There are also uncleansed virgins - many of them; and cleansed non-virgins, right?I totally agree...I also understand how being a virgin would be a testimony to that cleansing. In fact, it's a biblical concept.
amen and amen....razzelflabben: Yes, I agree. There are also uncleansed virgins - many of them; and cleansed non-virgins, right?
Blessings.
razzelflabben: So it kind of follows that that from a pastoral point of view, the question is not, Are you intact (down there)? but, Are both of you cleansed by faith in Christ?amen and amen....
Certainly. The mental gymnastics and situation-changing actions to avoid having or respoonding to sexual feelings. After a couple of years they can become so automatic that they continue into marriage and you do not have a clue how to change them.Can you provide some reasons for this supposed baggage I can't find when it comes to being a virgin until marriage? Thanks.
From a pastoral point of view, yes, from the standpoint of a potential spouse other things might be involved...for example I previously mentioned that many people have a problem with the thought of where all the other persons genitals have been, as in "how many people you are sleeping with" in relation to extra marital affairs. I'm not saying that this is right, or good or wise, or whatever, I'm just saying it is primary to some people who strongly desire to marry a virgin.razzelflabben: So it kind of follows that that from a pastoral point of view, the question is not, Are you intact (down there)? but, Are both of you cleansed by faith in Christ?
Blessings.
Still not following....before I was married, knowing that sex was reserved for marriage, I would avoid temptation by putting myself in a different situation. For example when my husband and I were engaged and struggling to wait, we would make sure there was a chaperone...not that hard. After we were married there was no need for that, so it became a very easy habit to break. Thus, I'm still not following what emotional baggage you are claiming as a result of maintaining a purity in your sexual life. Please elaborate and clarify, thank you.Certainly. The mental gymnastics and situation-changing actions to avoid having or respoonding to sexual feelings. After a couple of years they can become so automatic that they continue into marriage and you do not have a clue how to change them.
ah...so in our own power...that makes more sense. We are suppose to do it in God's power and not through finding ways to eliminate the feelings, but rather finding ways to prevent ourselves from giving into those feelings, as in learning self control vs. learning to find outlets...thanks for the clarification.For example: my wife started those "feelings" about age 12. By 13 she had found a way to eliminate them. Emotionally, when someone started getting close and may try to raise those dormant feelings, she would get angry. VERY ANGRY. And in that way she kept her virginity intact until we were married. But those "safeguards" she erected in her mind are still there (but have been lessened) some 37 years later.
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