While this isnt a huge issue in my own life, being lonely that is--I was wondering, is it wrong to feel Lonely? I mean because you have Jesus to comfort you throughout this life, is it a sign of subtle rejection if you will?
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Is it wrong to feel Lonely?
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KeilCoppes
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There is a strange interaction between loneliness and contentedness. Sinless Adam in the garden was lonely, so the thing itself is not sin. We can sin in how we react to our loneliness, though. If we let it consume us and bellyache, or accuse God of injustice in His providence, then we have a problem.
However, when we have loneliness, denying that it exists is an untruth - a lie. Given our responsibility to be a glory to God and to enjoy Him, we must admit the truth before we can try to improve the situation. And then, not dwelling on or denying the lonesliness, we go on to live in the presence of our Creator - one day at a time.
However, when we have loneliness, denying that it exists is an untruth - a lie. Given our responsibility to be a glory to God and to enjoy Him, we must admit the truth before we can try to improve the situation. And then, not dwelling on or denying the lonesliness, we go on to live in the presence of our Creator - one day at a time.
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JPPT1974
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Well I am not lonely but don't have a lot of friends. Because I guess that I am different. I don't like talk about things to other women like men and like "Sex & The City" talk like. But I love to discuss the NFL so that is the reason I am different perhaps. Strange but true.
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I don't get lonely. It's just how I'm wired I guess. But I do think there is a problem with feeling lonely. Not in itself, but because I sense loneliness is a symptom of something else. That is, an improper focus in one's life. I don't think we can say that Adam was lonely. A wife would be a great help in my life, but I wouldn't classify that desire, to be married, as loneliness. When one is lonely, he is focusing on what he does not have, rather than what he does have. Still, I wouldn't classify all loneliness as sin, although some of it surely is. But, rather, as I said, a symptom of something else that is wrong.
Sorry, jumped around a bit there, I'm doing four things at once.
Sorry, jumped around a bit there, I'm doing four things at once.
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No, thats precisly what Im after - Good Post2Timothy2 said:I don't get lonely. It's just how I'm wired I guess. But I do think there is a problem with feeling lonely. Not in itself, but because I sense loneliness is a symptom of something else. That is, an improper focus in one's life. I don't think we can say that Adam was lonely. A wife would be a great help in my life, but I wouldn't classify that desire, to be married, as loneliness. When one is lonely, he is focusing on what he does not have, rather than what he does have. Still, I wouldn't classify all loneliness as sin, although some of it surely is. But, rather, as I said, a symptom of something else that is wrong.
Sorry, jumped around a bit there, I'm doing four things at once.
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i get lonely.. i can be surrounded with people, and feel completly and utterly alone. i don't view it as a rejection to God. i simply just don't feel God.
i don't think its wrong to feel lonely, but it can be damaging. here's something i just read about that.. and i tend to agree with it. i'll post it, cuz i have nothing intelligent to add. :o
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The Dangers of Loneliness
By: Hara Estroff Marano
Friendship is a lot like food. We need it to survive. What is more, we seem to have a basic drive for it. Psychologists find that human beings have a fundamental need for inclusion in group life and for close relationships. We are truly social animals.
The upshot is, we function best when this social need is met. It is easier to stay motivated, to meet the varied challenges of life.
In fact, evidence has been growing that when our need for social relationships is not met, we fall apart mentally and even physically. There are effects on the brain and on the body. Some effects work subtly, through the exposure of multiple body systems to excess amounts of the hormones of stress. Yet the effects are distinct enough to be measured over time, so that unmet social needs take a serious toll on health, eroding our arteries, creating high blood pressure, and even undermining learning and memory.
A lack of close friends and a dearth of broader social contact generally bring the emotional discomfort or distress known as loneliness. It begins with an awareness of a deficiency of relationships. This cognitive awareness plays through our brain with an emotional soundtrack. It makes us sad. We might feel an emptiness. We may be filled with a longing for contact. We feel isolated, distanced from others, deprived. These feelings tear away at our emotional well-being.
Despite the negative effects of loneliness, it can hardly be considered abnormal. It is a most normal feeling. Everyone feels lonely sometimes--after a break-up with a friend or lover, when we move to a new place, when we are excluded from some social gathering.
Chronic loneliness is something else entirely. It is one of the surest markers in existence for maladjustment.
In children, it leads to all kinds of problems. Failure to be socially connected to peers is the real reason behind most school dropouts. It sets in motion a course on which children spin their way to outcast status and develop delinquency and other f orms of antisocial behavior.
In adults, loneliness is a major precipitant of depression and alcoholism. And it increasingly appears to be the cause of a range of medical problems, some of which take decades to show up.
Psychologist John Cacioppo of the University of Chicago has been tracking the effects of loneliness. Recently he performed a series of novel studies and reported that loneliness works in some surprising ways to compromise health.
Perhaps most astonishing, in a survey he conducted, doctors themselves confided that they provide better or more complete medical care to patients who have supportive families and are not socially isolated.
Living alone increases the risk of suicide for young and old alike.
Lonely individuals report higher levels of perceived stress even when exposed to the same stressors as non-lonely people, and even when they are relaxing.
The social interaction lonely people do have are not as positive as those of other people, hence they relationships they have do not buffer them from stress as relationships normally do.
Loneliness raises levels of circulating stress hormones and levels of blood pressure. It undermines regulation of the circulatory system so that the heart muscle works harder and the blood vessels are subject to damage by blood flow turbulence.
Loneliness destroys the quality and efficiency of sleep, so that it is less restorative, both physically and psychologically. They wake up more at night and spend less time in bed actually sleeping than do the nonlonely.
Loneliness, Cacioppo concludes, sets in motion a variety of "slowly unfolding pathpophysiological processes." The net result is that the lonely experience higher levels of cumulative wear and tear.
In other words, we are built for social contact. There are serious --life-threatening-- consequences when we don't get enough. We can't stay on track mentally. And we are compromised physically. Social skills are crucial for your health.
i don't think its wrong to feel lonely, but it can be damaging. here's something i just read about that.. and i tend to agree with it. i'll post it, cuz i have nothing intelligent to add. :o
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Dangers of Loneliness
By: Hara Estroff Marano
Friendship is a lot like food. We need it to survive. What is more, we seem to have a basic drive for it. Psychologists find that human beings have a fundamental need for inclusion in group life and for close relationships. We are truly social animals.
The upshot is, we function best when this social need is met. It is easier to stay motivated, to meet the varied challenges of life.
In fact, evidence has been growing that when our need for social relationships is not met, we fall apart mentally and even physically. There are effects on the brain and on the body. Some effects work subtly, through the exposure of multiple body systems to excess amounts of the hormones of stress. Yet the effects are distinct enough to be measured over time, so that unmet social needs take a serious toll on health, eroding our arteries, creating high blood pressure, and even undermining learning and memory.
A lack of close friends and a dearth of broader social contact generally bring the emotional discomfort or distress known as loneliness. It begins with an awareness of a deficiency of relationships. This cognitive awareness plays through our brain with an emotional soundtrack. It makes us sad. We might feel an emptiness. We may be filled with a longing for contact. We feel isolated, distanced from others, deprived. These feelings tear away at our emotional well-being.
Despite the negative effects of loneliness, it can hardly be considered abnormal. It is a most normal feeling. Everyone feels lonely sometimes--after a break-up with a friend or lover, when we move to a new place, when we are excluded from some social gathering.
Chronic loneliness is something else entirely. It is one of the surest markers in existence for maladjustment.
In children, it leads to all kinds of problems. Failure to be socially connected to peers is the real reason behind most school dropouts. It sets in motion a course on which children spin their way to outcast status and develop delinquency and other f orms of antisocial behavior.
In adults, loneliness is a major precipitant of depression and alcoholism. And it increasingly appears to be the cause of a range of medical problems, some of which take decades to show up.
Psychologist John Cacioppo of the University of Chicago has been tracking the effects of loneliness. Recently he performed a series of novel studies and reported that loneliness works in some surprising ways to compromise health.
Perhaps most astonishing, in a survey he conducted, doctors themselves confided that they provide better or more complete medical care to patients who have supportive families and are not socially isolated.
Living alone increases the risk of suicide for young and old alike.
Lonely individuals report higher levels of perceived stress even when exposed to the same stressors as non-lonely people, and even when they are relaxing.
The social interaction lonely people do have are not as positive as those of other people, hence they relationships they have do not buffer them from stress as relationships normally do.
Loneliness raises levels of circulating stress hormones and levels of blood pressure. It undermines regulation of the circulatory system so that the heart muscle works harder and the blood vessels are subject to damage by blood flow turbulence.
Loneliness destroys the quality and efficiency of sleep, so that it is less restorative, both physically and psychologically. They wake up more at night and spend less time in bed actually sleeping than do the nonlonely.
Loneliness, Cacioppo concludes, sets in motion a variety of "slowly unfolding pathpophysiological processes." The net result is that the lonely experience higher levels of cumulative wear and tear.
In other words, we are built for social contact. There are serious --life-threatening-- consequences when we don't get enough. We can't stay on track mentally. And we are compromised physically. Social skills are crucial for your health.
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JPPT1974
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I admit that I am lonely all of the time but also I am content and sastified since I am really, really not much of a talker and a person of a few words. That is just the way I am folks and really need to change. But also can't help it at all. And pretty much feel bad but that is I guess you could say the way that I was brought up.
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TriptychR
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I don't see how any of us can not feel lonely at one time or another. It is a natural feeling, as is sadness or anger. But letting one's life be consumed by loneliness is not healthy. It's a signal that something's wrong, and if it stays a long time instead of passing, it's something that needs help.
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invisiblebabe
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I'm in agreement with the article.
I must also provide my two cents: If EVER you are trying to help a fellow Christian who is lonely, do NOT tell 'em that "All you need is God," or some other cliché like that. God made us relational beings, and that is one primary venue in which we grow and develop.
If we weren't designed for friendship, why did God make more than one person in the first place?
I must also provide my two cents: If EVER you are trying to help a fellow Christian who is lonely, do NOT tell 'em that "All you need is God," or some other cliché like that. God made us relational beings, and that is one primary venue in which we grow and develop.
If we weren't designed for friendship, why did God make more than one person in the first place?
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It is no more wrong to feel lonely than it is to feel hungry or thirsty or sleepy. It's an indicator of an unmet need.
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For me at least, loneliness is a symptom of having an iffy relationship with myself. Unfortunately if I develop too strong of a relationship with myself, I don't desire interaction anymore.
Certainly wouldn't consider loneliness a sin, but I'm not sure its cure is more interaction.
Certainly wouldn't consider loneliness a sin, but I'm not sure its cure is more interaction.
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middo
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Im feeling 'lonely' lately, i admit it and know it, but i am also VERY content with my life and know that in God's time I will find a wife. i'd love to have gf now but i dont let that affect how I live for God and my motivation for anything Nothing wrong with being lonely IMO.
Nothing wrong with being lonely IMO.
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It is natural to be lonely ever once in awhile. I think the other posters have given some good advice.
Sometimes it happens because there is a need not being met and sometimes it happens because there is something within you that needs to be worked on. The fact is, being lonely is a natural thing that occurs to let us know, we need something.
Jesus is our comforter, yes, but he also knows we were made to interact with others and develop relationships. My best advice is to pray, tell God how you are feeling and ask him to send you solid relationships that will help you and strengthen your relationship with him.
Sometimes it happens because there is a need not being met and sometimes it happens because there is something within you that needs to be worked on. The fact is, being lonely is a natural thing that occurs to let us know, we need something.
Jesus is our comforter, yes, but he also knows we were made to interact with others and develop relationships. My best advice is to pray, tell God how you are feeling and ask him to send you solid relationships that will help you and strengthen your relationship with him.
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footballfanatic
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It's not wrong for you to feel lonely. It's natural. God made humans for friendship and opposite genders to complete each other.
I wrote an article about this at http://www.realchristiansingles.com/cms_view_article.php?aid=11
Basically, God saw Adam feeling lonely in the Garden of Eden. God didn't rebuke him or tell him that he should be satisfied. He created a partner for him. So you are just longing for your partner. That's normal. Stay close to God and tell Him when you are lonely...when He saw Adam feeling lonely, He gave him a partner. I bet He will for you too.
Lee
I wrote an article about this at http://www.realchristiansingles.com/cms_view_article.php?aid=11
Basically, God saw Adam feeling lonely in the Garden of Eden. God didn't rebuke him or tell him that he should be satisfied. He created a partner for him. So you are just longing for your partner. That's normal. Stay close to God and tell Him when you are lonely...when He saw Adam feeling lonely, He gave him a partner. I bet He will for you too.
Lee
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invisiblebabe said:
For a long time I considered that to be a cliche. Until I saw it is more than just some other cliche, it is true and it is real.
I don't see loneliness as a time of trial or punishment anymore. It's not that I don't deserve friends or that God does not give me friends because I did a), b), c) or there is something wrong with me. He lets us to go through a period of loneliness, so we know that all we need is Him, we just want others as well.
I am not only slow but also stubborn and I held on to my need for friends, the more I felt the need, the more I felt lonely. I felt left out, especially since in my church most people were married. People were friendly and I had a good contact with them but I still felt lonely. Until God had finally enough and put me in a place/situation where I was not only feeling but actually alone. There was nobody around me, just strangers and they did not want to have anything to do with me. Although I believe He was dealing with me due to another attitude I had and needed to get rid of ... but He dealt out loneliness and being really alone along as well.
From that time on I don't feel alone anymore. I only remember loneliness but I really have to make an effort to remember how it was and to understand people and sympathize with them when they feel lonely. I am tempted to just say: "All you need is God". But, this is my personal belief and I don't have any verses to back it up with, the moment you realize that this is true and not just a cliche, your loneliness will be leaving you. As long as it is a cliche, loneliness sticks with you.
Because Jesus said "I in them" ... He is IN us, no person will ever be that close than the Lord. He is not only on your side, He is inside. Friends might not always be able and/or willing to follow you, friends might have to/want to leave you - the Lord can't do that. He is not leaving you (He is in you).
invisiblebabe said:
Because God wants many friends. He wants you to be His friend and He wants others to be His friends as well. "Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you." (John 15:15)
Persons are human beings, friends are human beings - we as humans are not perfect friends. Humans are capable to mess up friendships, sometimes even permanently.
Job's friends almost drove him over the edge. Until they showed up and spoke to him, Job kept his peace. And I cannot find one good word they spoke to him. But I did notice that they stayed afar off, they did not come near him. And there are times when friends leave you in the biggest mess you find yourself in. Or they berate you.
Jesus is a completely different friend. Shortly after He called the disciples His friends, they left and deserted him. Peter even denied him, did not want to have anything to do with Jesus. But Jesus did not barbeque Peter, no, He made a barbeque for him and the others that were with him. No reproach, no blame, no anger - all He did was asking whether Peter loved Him.
It's not always easy to approach friends and tell them about a mistake, a mess you created. You don't know how they will react, how they will treat you. Sometimes they react better/treat you better than you expected and other times they have the worst possible reaction/treatment. And it is very, very difficult to approach the Lord ... or it feels that way. But unlike our human friends and fellow beings, God already knows what I have done and what I haven't. One might as well tell him and have it over with. And unlike our human friends and fellow beings, God knows how much treatment we can handle, whether we need any kind of treatment at all (He can see whether or not our repentance is sincere). I had it happen more than once that a friend got out of control, said more than was needed, could not stop the rage - and yes, there are times I don't stop, I add words and more words. That does not happen with God.
God gave us His Son so that we have a friend in Him. Looking back I am truly amazed about God's patience and long-suffering. I could have enjoyed having not just a king, any king but THE King as my friend ... instead I was feeling sorry because I did not have many friends among the population.
And then I was thinking that God did not just give His Son so that I have a friend but He also gave Him so that I can have eternal life, He gave His Son to be a sacrifice for my sins and there I was sitting thinking "I need more. I need that, yes, but I also need ...."
This is my personal belief: God did not create more than just one person so that we can have company and have a friend, but He created more than just one person so that He can have more and more company in heaven. God's love cannot be measured, does not go out, will never be exhausted. He created more than one person because He can love more than one person with a perfect love. We can't. We can have many friends and love to be with them but we can't be always there for each single friend. Imagine two of your best friends are both hospitalized (in different hospitals) - which one will you go to see first (the one whose sickness is more serious? But the other might be in pain just the same)? This problem does not exist for God.
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