Is It Right for My Wife to Dress Sexy At Home?

[cmascio]

I'm going to speak with my pastor about this, but I want to get some other opinions as well.

I'm wanting to know if it's right for my wife to dress "sexy" at home. I feel that I have a proper understanding of what God wants for us as a family when we're in public. We certainly don't want her to be a stumbling block to others by going to the beach wearing a micro string bikini...but what about at home?

I feel like Christians are often sold short. Either they take on their cultures values and sacrifice their relationship with Christ, or they gravitate towards "standards" setup by other Christians that often hinders their lives in similar fashion as foundin Col 3.

I feel like the sensual pull of the world is magnified for Christian men. I have to wonder if the pull of all things sensual is more prominent because our needs are not being met.

And I'm not talking about sex. Some would seem to say that if you have a "good, consistent, and Godly sex life" that this should take care of the intimate side of your relationship. Unfortunately, this isn't how people work. For women, it's more obvious. The emotional side of the relationship must be in proper order for her to be able to feel 100% engaged the sexual side of a relationship...but men have a deeper sexual level as well that I think is often overlooked.

Men are visual. We like to see a sexy woman, be around a sexy woman, and experience all that goes with that. Within marriage, this is blessed by God and not condemned.

Anyway...wifey and I are trying to take a more proper approach to 1 Cor 7:4 instead of sweeping it under the carpet, and it's leading to confusion.

I don't see why not if it is for eachother and not for outside sources! Why Not?

 

[Lemmiwinks]

I'm going to speak with my pastor about this, but I want to get some other opinions as well.

It isn't any of your pastor's business. You should NOT speak to your pastor about this, especially without your wife's consent, then you'd be gossiping about your own wife.

 

[molimar]

Count your blessings!

 

[love2teach]

80% of everything we say is communicated nonverbally (gotta love the irony.) That said, to dress sexy, is an outward statement to the husband; it's a way to allure. It tells the husband I value our sexual life together.
My pastor speaks of the "trophy wife." It doesn't matter what age. The wife should dress for her husband. When you were dating, she dressed to impress. She did it because she wanted to show her best.
The question was posed earlier, would Jesus want his wife dressing sexy? Would the wife of Jesus dress frumpy? Or would she want to impress, not only Jesus but the people he's around?
I'm impressed by the way my pastor's wife dress. I'm not looking at them with lust, but I do look at them and think, "wow, he is a lucky man and they have a good relationship." All the pastors wives at my church dress well-- not provocatively though.
Sexy attire is a relative concept. There's a place for provocative attire-- in the bedroom, around the house. It's called foreplay, and this builds a healthy relationship.

 

[cosmosmu]

Women also likes to dress up for herself too, not necessary only for their men.

Also, (neutral / not one end or the other), women has the right to dress how they want (esp at home)

Everyone (female, male, all ages) should dress according to the time and places (church, work, hangouts, etc) And at home, I think it doesn't matter.

 

[love2teach]

Clothing should reflect the way a woman feels. Relaxed around the house should take on a certian flair. Church maybe more sophisticated. There are times when she dresses for herself, and there are times when she dresses for her husband.
It's an act of serving your husband to dress in a way that presents well in the given situation. Your spouse would be embarrassed if you showed up to church in something sultry or something frumpy. There may be times when you're out on the town and an outfit that your hubby finds really attractive on you would be appropriate. And, there are times when you're around the house alone with your husband that might appreciate sultry attire... or no attire at all.
Sexuality is a gift in a marital relationship. It's not a simple component to the marriage, and when the complexity of it is taken for granted, there's internal and external conflict that arises. Give some, get some. Sexuality needs to be nurtured... and sometimes it may mean doing the difficult thing, getting out of your comfort zone to meet the needs of your spouse. Yeah, it may be a little uncomfortable to wear a low cut blouse out to dinner once a year for his birthday because he loves it. It may be a struggle to wear nothing but what God gave you under a dress on your anniversary (or even once a month on a date)... your husband will realize this... and that sacrifice is something that builds a greater, stronger bond. It's the selfless act. It may be difficult, but it's not immoral. It may be uncomfortable, but it's not socially unacceptable... it's just difficult to do.
It's a grand gesture toward your husband... sometimes we do things where we go all out to make it nice for our spouse-- we spend a little more on a gift, take a bigger vacation, throw a bigger party... he recognizes variances/changes. When he sees you dress in the same outfit you wore to church on Sunday out on a date on Saturday night, there's nothing special about your appearance... you're not dressing for him; you're dressing for the public. Dress in ways that accentuates the features he loves most on you, and he will recognize the difference. Guys like to feel special. They like it when their spouses make these efforts... it feels good, and it bolsters the sexual bond, keeps the spark going, and it reinforces the relationship. It'll make him appreciate you more.

 

[Romanseight2005]

Clothing should reflect the way a woman feels. Relaxed around the house should take on a certian flair. Church maybe more sophisticated. There are times when she dresses for herself, and there are times when she dresses for her husband.
It's an act of serving your husband to dress in a way that presents well in the given situation. Your spouse would be embarrassed if you showed up to church in something sultry or something frumpy. There may be times when you're out on the town and an outfit that your hubby finds really attractive on you would be appropriate. And, there are times when you're around the house alone with your husband that might appreciate sultry attire... or no attire at all.
Sexuality is a gift in a marital relationship. It's not a simple component to the marriage, and when the complexity of it is taken for granted, there's internal and external conflict that arises. Give some, get some. Sexuality needs to be nurtured... and sometimes it may mean doing the difficult thing, getting out of your comfort zone to meet the needs of your spouse. Yeah, it may be a little uncomfortable to wear a low cut blouse out to dinner once a year for his birthday because he loves it. It may be a struggle to wear nothing but what God gave you under a dress on your anniversary (or even once a month on a date)... your husband will realize this... and that sacrifice is something that builds a greater, stronger bond. It's the selfless act. It may be difficult, but it's not immoral. It may be uncomfortable, but it's not socially unacceptable... it's just difficult to do.
It's a grand gesture toward your husband... sometimes we do things where we go all out to make it nice for our spouse-- we spend a little more on a gift, take a bigger vacation, throw a bigger party... he recognizes variances/changes. When he sees you dress in the same outfit you wore to church on Sunday out on a date on Saturday night, there's nothing special about your appearance... you're not dressing for him; you're dressing for the public. Dress in ways that accentuates the features he loves most on you, and he will recognize the difference. Guys like to feel special. They like it when their spouses make these efforts... it feels good, and it bolsters the sexual bond, keeps the spark going, and it reinforces the relationship. It'll make him appreciate you more.

While I agree with much of what you have said here, date nights have their own quandries. Here is the problem. Yes I want to look sexy for him. I however, don't want to look sexy for anyone else. What is a good thing for us, could be a bad thing for another couple sitting next to us at the restaurant. The time to look sexy for my husband is when we are alone. One could even make comments that let the husband know the sexiness planned for alone time, but we must be careful not to be a stumbling block for someone else.

 

[love2teach]

There,s a fine line between "being a stumbling block" and serving the relationship. I struggle with this... on the one hand, we go out, and there are plenty of distractions-married and unwed.
Even going back to when I was single, when I see a couple, young, old, married or courting, I respect their relationship. I think most guys are like that. You just don't look at another guys girl. Its common respect going beyond christian values.
Stumbling blocks are single women who dress the way wives won't... stumbling blocks in married women are women who dress for their husbands, but seek the attention of guys who are not spouse. If she's dressing for her husband, women look and say, "what a cute couple." Men say to themselves, "that's a lucky guy."
There is a mentality that goes with dressing for hubby.... its not the single girl of the past who would make eyes across a crowded room, its not the girl who feels flattered when a man looks her over; its the woman who has matured and seeks the attention of only one~ her spouse.

 

[jason taylor]

You lucky jerk...sometimes I hate being single.

Yes it's all right. Enjoy yourselves.

 

[loved33]

does she like it? do you like it?

if you both like it, you are married - God blesses your enjoyment of each other.

its the world that cheapens everything by turning it into body parts and leather.

to me there is nothing more sexy than being known and loved.

the underwear and dressing up is icing on the cake of truly being seen and known and loved.

marriage is God's place for fun to happen with man and wife.

Enjoy your freedom.

As long as you both are comfortable.

 

[savedandthankful]

I think it's fine for Christian women to dress sexy in the privacy of their own home. Men too for that matter. I wouldn't speak to your pastor without her consent.

 

[ChildByGrace]

I don't see a problem with it. I do it for my dh. It doesn't make me feel like he is just looking at my body or anything like that.
When we were dating I dressed for him so he would find me attractive, so why shouldn't I continue to do that in the privacy of our own home.
Tbh I think that if I dress sexy at home then he us less likely to let his eyes wander out of the house

 

[Canadian33]

I think a lot of people including myself, tend to over analyse and over dramatize everything. I am learning however, to just try and live in the "now" more and not feel the complusive need to over analyse ever little situation that tends to present itself. So your wife wears a sexy dress one day, big deal. Maybe you were something sexy and she might get equally as jealous at other women looking at you. I think in relationships there's that constant need to judge and analyse ever little minuet detail. I don't think that's healthy though. Unless it's to the "total extreme" where you're wife looks like Kat Von Dee wearing lingeria all the time around the house then I think it's well within what would be considered normal.

 

[Omar Wild]

If you have a private home by yourself without others living there, then it is good.

 

[Canadian33]

Maybe she's trying to drop a hint to you? She's not getting enough lovin bud

 

[Luther073082]

Blind post: The only reason it could be bad/wrong is if you have children who are around and get the wrong impression of how to dress.

The bible really places no restrictions on the sexual life of a married couple acting in private.

 

[If Not For Grace]

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#1

11th November 2009, 11:07 AM
BrianMI

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Join Date: 11th November 2009
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Is It Right for My Wife to Dress Sexy At Home?

Is It Right for My Wife to Dress Sexy At Home?

I know I'm going to get grief for this BUT I (me Personally) would hate to be married to a man who has to ask that question.

WIFE/SEXY YES, YES Double yes.

 

[JCFantasy23]

There are so many opinions on this stuff inside Christianity. For me personally I don't see the big deal of dressing sexy for your spouse, inside or outside the house. It also can make the woman feel better about herself to get dressed up and try to be extra attractive sometimes, gives us a boost about ourselves when we need it. At least that's how it works for me. Women especially seem to concentrate on feeling appreciated and feel less appreciated in general, seems to be a pet peeve. This kind of thing helps. Biblically I see no issues with this at all and don't see that God would mind.

 

[MacFall]

Yes, it's a good thing. Don't be Ned Flanders.

 

[Blank123]

mostly blind post.

dude. you're married to her. if she turns you on, there's nothing wrong or sinful in that.

If she's dressing questionably when there's company over, thats obviously something to be concerned about. but if she's trying to be sexy for you and you alone, whats wrong with that?