Is it really dancing?

[4GodCountry]

So, I got into a fairly long debate last night at work about the idea of "dancing" at clubs. Now I'm not getting into the general idea that I'm not a bar/club fan in the first place; my point is that I dont see the reasoning behind going to a crowded place full of drunken idiots and basically having sex in front of all the people there.
To me there is no point and it is a horrible thing to be doing. Now, I base my opinion on the idea that we are supposed to be living moral lives and setting the example for others our own age; I can't be the only person who sees this kind of dancing as unnecessary and inappropriate, right?

 

[NiobiumTragedy]

I think you're generalizing clubs way too much. You're assuming that every club is filled with people grinding, which is true to a very mild percentage, but the overall majority is just people jumping around or dancing for their own amusement to have fun. Sure, some of them are drunk, but we're talking about the style of dancing here, not the morality of drinking, which the dancing in itself is fine.

As for the moral issue concerning grinding, you need to remember one important thing: not everyone has the same standards as you. To the majority of people, these actions are fine because they hold themselves to a different kind of standard. To them, it's not wrong as it is to you. It's really just a different way of looking at things.

 

[AndrewZinc]

This came up recently in a facebook debate in a group of Christian guys. There were several viewpoints on whether we as Christians should go to night clubs:

1) Jesus was where the people are and so we should be amongst them in order to witness to them.

2) We should avoid them completely as there is nothing good about them and it is 'a den of sin'.

3) It is not a great mission field, nor somewhere to avoid, but if you like dancing and socialising then fair enough.

Another point was made that it depends on the person. If you struggle with issues like lust, or drinking too much, then it is wise to steer clear. However, if these are not problems for you, then feel free.

It is not somewhere I really enjoy with the majority losing control and many there to obtain casual sex, which is becoming seen as a positive thing to be doing (!?) though I have been in order to spend time with non-Christian friends.

In summary, my view is that it's not wrong in itself to be in such a place, but you have to be pretty strong to resist temptation and so for most of us (myself included), it is wise not to go.

 

[4GodCountry]

I never said I have a problem with alcohol or dancing. I drink socially from time to time and dancing in general is something I enjoy. But I also know that the couple of times I've gone to the clubs in my area what I see is he drunken grinding. And that's what I'm asking about; I'm not the crazy preacher from Footloose; I enjoy dancing. I'm just curious as to other people's opinion on the grinding aspect of it.

 

[Sketcher]

Exceptionally racy dancing is sinful, yes.

What qualifies to be racy enough to be sinful depends on the context. It's hard to draw a clear line in the sand on this, but it's easy to tell when someone is well on the wrong side of it.

 

[4GodCountry]

Exceptionally racy dancing is sinful, yes.

What qualifies to be racy enough to be sinful depends on the context. It's hard to draw a clear line in the sand on this, but it's easy to tell when someone is well on the wrong side of it.

I guess I'm just glad to know that I'm not the only person who feels that way. Thank you.

 

[peckaboo]

Just for the sake of controversy, here's a question: what about salsa? That's definitely "real" dancing, that requires a certain level of skill to do well, but it can also be very very sexual. But most Western Christians (I think) wouldn't have a big problem with it.

Then what about belly dancing? It's a similar thing, a cultural dance form, not necessarily *more sexual* than salsa in terms of the moves, but maybe a little more foreign, so maybe seen as a little more threatening/morally questionable...

I'm not defending bump-n-grind in a club (for the record I wouldn't be comfortable dancing like that with anyone other than my husband, in private, lol!) am just curious to know your take on other dance forms that contain sexual moves but about which you definitely couldn't ask "is it really dancing?"

 

[4GodCountry]

Very good point; and you're right, I never thought about that. And I won't try and say that those dances arent meant the same way; like you pointed out they can be very sexual. In the long this thread came out of an extrememly rude guy telling me that my morals were a horrible reason to not dance like that or go out getting drunk and rubbing up on different guys before going home and sleeping with one of them; which is funny really if you think about it.

 

[ReeceWirefly]

I do go out to clubs with friends, the kinds of places that have people grinding, however I usually don't participate in that. Me and a close friend of mine usually just dance silly and make fun of dances during the night. Even when a guy comes up to me I usually just walk away when he starts trying to grind.

I don't hold them to a high standard and go: OMGOSH THEY ARE SINNING! God will handle that in his own time. Right now I can just show them there is another way to have fun, and just wait till they ask questions, or try talking to me.

 

[FreeSpirit74]

I never said I have a problem with alcohol or dancing. I drink socially from time to time and dancing in general is something I enjoy. But I also know that the couple of times I've gone to the clubs in my area what I see is he drunken grinding. And that's what I'm asking about; I'm not the crazy preacher from Footloose; I enjoy dancing. I'm just curious as to other people's opinion on the grinding aspect of it.

I think it's disgusting. They should get a room if they want to do that.

I do "social folk dancing" myself (Contra and Square dancing) and it's a whole heck of a lot better than grinding in the middle of a bar or club. I can dance with whoever I want to, and I have YET to be dragged outside and have the you-know-what beat out of me for dancing with someone else's husband or boyfriend. Trading partners for each dance is encouraged because of the social aspect of this type of dancing (and you don't have to bring a partner so it's great for single people!). And there is no booze served at these events, so I don't have to worry about some jerk who's had a few too many trying to hit on me. You can't be drunk and do this kind of dancing anyway, because it does require being able to comprehend and remember what the caller is telling you to do, and you need the coordination to be able to execute the moves accurately so no one gets hurt, because these dances can get crowded when there is a very popular band providing the music.

Another thing that is interesting about the form of dance that I do is that for women the fashion is to wear long, very wide flowy, colorful skirts, usually with a semi-dressy T-shirt, tank top or camisole top. No hoochie-mama-show-your-coochie outfits for us!

 

[EndlessSerenade]

I have no problem with clubs and I go there every now and then with my friends. I've gone past the stage that I care what other people are doing. If I had to get upset or angry every time I saw someone doing something that doesn't fall into what I think should be acceptable, I would be living on top of mount Everest probably. If some girl wants to grind then it's her business and I'm glad I don't have to do that to feel good about myself or to get attention. For me dancing is moving your body usually to music, so yeah for me it still is dancing whether it's my kind of dancing or not. The dancing that I usually see in clubs are just people moving their hips from side to side to the beat of the music and then adding some hip hop moves. I don't see anything wrong with that. I also do dancing like that cause I enjoy it and I don't do it to get attention of any sort. Usually clubs are dark anyway and you can't even see anything. But grinding is definitely a no-no and it's something I still need to teach my boyfriend as he seems to think it's fine :/ but in general I'm not a dancey person. I much prefer to be the one sitting down and just stare at everyone.

 

[Stephenp12]

I want to real learn dancing where i can lead a girl through the steps; like salsa or mumbo mumbo, cha, cha. Dancing at clubs i dont consider that real dancing

 

[William II]

I'm big on salsa dancing, I usually teach the girl I'm with how to so we can do it whenever we go out.

But no lie, I like to get my freak dance on from time to time. It's fun.

 

[Smashleigh17]

but in general I'm not a dancey person. I much prefer to be the one sitting down and just stare at everyone.

Same here ! People watching is so much fun...

In the clubs around my area you very rarely see people 'properly' dancing (i.e. dancing with controlled steps etc.) It's all just a matter of moving your body in time with the music and hoping you don't look stupid. That's what it is for me anyways - I generally just went along with the people around me, which never turned out well, let's be honest.

It's not wrong, as such, for you to feel that the way people in clubs is disgusting or imoral, in fact I think it's fair enough, but as has been said, many people in those clubs don't have the same morals or values or standards as you.

As much as I hate to admit it, I used to be one of those people you'd see and probably freak out about - I've stopped drinking exactly for that reason (and cause it gives me heartburn/I've allergic to something in premixed drinks) - I never really learnt how to control myself and, even though some nights I'd be able to keep track of what I was doing, now that I've found Christ it's just no longer worth the risk at all.