Are you bearing fruits? you can be a hermit but still try all you can to be fruitful for the Kingdom
You hit the nail on the head. We are all to bear fruit and usually that requires spending time with other people although there are many ways to bear fruit. There are many behind-the-scenes ministries, giving, online forums, and of course, prayer.
I am part-way into a great 2 volume work on church history and it's fascinating how popular it was in the 300s and 400s (and beyond in some cases) to go live in caves out in the deserts of Egypt or other places. Some totally alone while others in like-minded communities. This is what developed into monasticism. Some of the greatest early church fathers preferred the monastic life but felt compelled into larger roles requiring them to lead churches or be over several churches in a major city. They also participated in the great councils of that era. There were also female monastic communities that probably were the forerunners to nuns.
For some reason, that lifestyle was particularly popular in those days. Most just wanted time to grow close to God without all the distractions of marriage and city life. Often they had benefactors who provided them with food and other basics. Some of these cave dwellers did major works of translation or wrote volumes of important works. In time it got more organized and fewer struck off on their own with most joining orders. Benedict was the leader of one such order and his rules for monastic life were borrowed and copied by many other orders perhaps with some tweaks.
Today such orders are mostly associated with the Roman Catholic church and are less popular. While I prefer living alone I still stay active with other people. Not so much socially, but I help a lot of people. Not just financially, but by giving them rides, helping them move, donating things, etc. I am a professional photographer and often do free photoshoots for people and non-profits.I keep a theological blog and participate in forums. I used to teach extensively but that was before two divorces which tend to limit opportunities in most churches. Even though both had good grounds it just doesn't lend itself to being considered "above reproach." Especially as my gift is in teaching adults and more heady stuff. It seems if you have a heartbeat they will use you in children's Sunday school classes but if you want to teach adults you have to be an elder or staff or really be well known and respected and blemishes like divorce can be a real barrier.
I have a brother who went to seminary in his mid-40s and got an MDIV. He never quit his high-paying tech management job and finished out that career. He tried starting his own church but that lasted less than 2 years. Now he helps out at a church his daughter goes to. I am not sure if he is an elder. He teaches a Sunday night home study and sometimes fills in for the pastor behind the pulpit if the pastor is sick or traveling. I kind of chuckle because he insists on being called a pastor and his email and social media accounts are all "Pastor BillV." In his case, he was ordained by the seminary so considers himself a pastor for life. He takes a very hard line on what churches should do versus what individual ministries should do. He tends to frown on para-church organizations saying those ministries should be done by the church. I'm sure he would consider me unqualified to be writing theological blogs and not doing so apart from church oversight would be a sin. I put myself through an MDIV program but mostly on my own. I took a few classes from a seminary but mostly read all the same books, wrote papers, published online, and such but I don't have a degree to hang on my wall and have never been ordained. Personally, I don't care. Books and seminaries, while of value, are not nearly as important as your faith, your heart, and your closeness to God. My brother is very cold if you cross him. I have never seen someone so quick to suggest church discipline. He tried to get our old church to put me under church discipline for moving saying my broken marriage required my staying put where we (my wife and I) could receive their counsel and be held accountable by them. He eventually backed down but warned "I will be watching!" Indeed he does. He stalks me on social media and even my photographs. He once told me God appointed him to hold me accountable. Matthew 18 says "If you see your brother in sin..." go to him. It doesn't say "Spy on your brother and leave no rock unturned until you find sin..." He needs to heed his own advice. He loves to do personal and marriage counseling thinking himself gifted in that area. He said that he will never marriage counsel a couple beyond six meetings. That is enough time, he said, to determine what the sin issues are, illuminate them with Scripture, and then they either repent or they don't! Simple! He said a favorite exercise is to ask the couple to spend one minute noticing everything colored blue in the room. He then asks them to close their eyes. They are expecting him to ask them to recall as many blue things as they can. Instead, he asks them to recall anything colored red. Naturally, they protest saying "you asked us to remember all the blue things. We weren't focused on the red!" His moral analogy is that if you only look for the bad in each other after a while that is all you will see and neglect to see the good things. Good advice. Except he doesn't follow it when it comes to others, especially siblings. He puts us under the microscope and only looks for the bad then assumes moral superiority and authority because "I'm a pastor!" We are expected to bow to his authority and submit to his counsel and be totally transparent with him so he can verify our repentance (on our real or perceived sins...usually more assumed).
Thankfully not all pastors or elders are like my brother but such attitudes make it hard to get along with the local body. Church leaders are still sinners and imperfect like the rest of us. We are still commanded to fellowship and submit but we have to do so with a grain of salt. I have had to leave churches in the past due to bad and even heretical doctrine. I have seen spiritual pups made elders because of family connections to the pastor and proceed to have it go to their heads and create a monster. One such elder lectured me on my lowliness and that teaching should be done by the elders. I was far more mature and knowledgeable than him but I was not an elder...
Maybe that's why all those early Christians ran to the caves to live! Life is messy. The church is messy but we're all in the mess together and we can help each other. I spend more time alone than most but I strive for a balance and find ways to make a difference. I am sure, not perfect but I am constantly taking stalk of my life and asking what more I can do. Maybe with a different childhood, I could have been a pastor or seminary professor but my life did not go that direction and now with two divorces and my age such callings are pretty much out of the question. We all have different gifts and I think recluses have a purpose. We just each need to seek how the Lord would have us serve even if it's not in a mainstream way. In the end, we want to hear "Well done good and faithful servant. Come and enter into the rest I have prepared for you." That's my hope and prayer. My life hasn't gone the way I would have planned or even wanted but my life verse is Romans 8:28, "God causes all things to work together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose." As much as I would love a do-over, I wouldn't accept one (were such a thing possible) if it meant I would lose the spiritual growth those hardships molded in me. If I would be any less loving, less kind, less caring, less sympathetic or empathetic, or have less faith and dependence on the Lord, then I would not want it. Many things happened that were beyond my control and the sin of others but I trust God is "causing all things to work together for good" and I have seen it. Those things led me to be more of a hermit but I seek God every day to use that for good. Maybe He will change me or maybe I will stay this way. As long as it's His plan I am all for it.
