Is it 'normal' for believers to have friends?

RDKirk · Jul 14, 2022

Carl Emerson said:
My wife and I were musing on the fact that true friends are very hard to find in our world.

Apart from each other, she has one friend and I have none.

What I mean by a friend is someone who will visit you just to be with you more than once a year.

Now part of the reason is that I have a strong passion for Jesus and as He said we would be hated as He was.

Another reason is that folks are under such pressure to survive these days that somehow they are too busy.

Another reason is that folks associate with those who they consider successful by the worlds standards.

I think that from a commercial viewpoint the more people are isolated the better consumers they are because sharing is eliminated.

Your thoughts around this are welcome.

We seem to be light years away from the loving relationships recorded in early Acts.

Church leaders no longer visit.

Breaking bread from house to house - what happened to that?

It would be a failure of the Holy Spirit that Acts-type friendships could not occur between Christians today.

Friendships do occur between pagans, just as they have always occurred between pagans as history shows, so not even human nature is an inherent point of that failure.

So, if such friendships do not occur between Christians, it's not the fault of human nature, nor is it a failure of the Holy Spirit.

If you know other Christians and cannot consider any of them friends, there is something wrong with how you are developing your relationships.

RDKirk · Jul 14, 2022

RevealedTruths said:
Science and technological advancements were a delusion. The only thing that men really created was the Talking Image of the Beast, which you all are using right now.

No, God created a universe with constant physical laws that He intended to be discovered and utilized. Psalm 19.

RDKirk · Jul 14, 2022

NBB said:
like the saying: 'the more ways to communicate we have, the less we communicate with each other'
i think if internet and phones dissapeared people would start visiting each other all the time like in old times.

I've been a member for 20 years of a men's bible study that meets every Tuesday during lunch. We began meeting at work at that time.

At this point, the members are scattered over the US...but thanks to Skype, we still meet every Tuesday during lunch for our bible study. Sometimes two or three of us can get together in person, and we do.

One of them is a Barnabas to me. I've instructed my wife to contact him if I ever seem to be going off the edge, and I've given both of them permission to talk about me behind my back.

timf · Jul 14, 2022

If you know other Christians and cannot consider any of them friends, there is something wrong with how you are developing your relationships.

If you have had success making and sustaining Christian friendships, you are fortunate. As the world melts down around us and even those in churches turn to follow after the world, it should not be surprising that there would be fewer opportunities for real fellowship. It might be better to focus on actually growing in faith so that kindness can be shown to fellow believers.

Halbhh · Jul 14, 2022

Is it 'normal' for believers to have friends?

Yes normally we all will to some degree (which varies according to one's temperament and opportunities and situations), but, getting down to the heart of the matter, only those that love others can enter heaven.

Consider: if you treat someone well with kind regard from care for them, even on the internet, you are right there doing "love one another" as Christ commanded us. I italicize 'commanded' because it's not a suggestion or an extra good, but a command, even a "new" (!) command (though it was already in effect in "love your neighbor", He still added that emphasis and to help us understand it is not optional.

This wording "new" helps us realize that isn't like the 'works of the law' or such things as our own 'works', etc. (though we can notice it's the "the law of Christ" as Paul wrote it in Galatians), but is more -- loving one another is central to being His sheep, His followers, His on the Day to come. (John chapters 13 through 15)

As in 1rst John, those who don't love don't know God even, and need to repent so that they could be saved.

Carl Emerson said:
My wife and I were musing on the fact that true friends are very hard to find in our world.

Apart from each other, she has one friend and I have none.

What I mean by a friend is someone who will visit you just to be with you more than once a year.

Now part of the reason is that I have a strong passion for Jesus and as He said we would be hated as He was.

Another reason is that folks are under such pressure to survive these days that somehow they are too busy.

Another reason is that folks associate with those who they consider successful by the worlds standards.

I think that from a commercial viewpoint the more people are isolated the better consumers they are because sharing is eliminated.

Your thoughts around this are welcome.

We seem to be light years away from the loving relationships recorded in early Acts.

Church leaders no longer visit.

Breaking bread from house to house - what happened to that?

RDKirk · Jul 14, 2022

timf said:
If you have had success making and sustaining Christian friendships, you are fortunate. As the world melts down around us and even those in churches turn to follow after the world, it should not be surprising that there would be fewer opportunities for real fellowship. It might be better to focus on actually growing in faith so that kindness can be shown to fellow believers.

View attachment 318345

All that was true in the 1st century...even more so than today.

Many of the Christians in Paul's congregations were slaves or wives of pagan heads-of-households. How much free time for fellowshipping with other Christians do you think they got?

Halbhh · Jul 14, 2022

Carl Emerson said:
Breaking bread from house to house - what happened to that?

Yes, sharing meals. A very good idea. Pot lucks were common when I was young, and we do manage some here in our lives, but not that often. We have some of them at church, and a few times a year we have parties at church members' houses, where all can come, and of course with food always. So, we do have it. Now, when I was young the style at my Grandparent's house was literally for a few families to gather with a pot luck together. But, also their church had one once a week in the summer at the church, many of which I went to when I visited them in the summer. My wife is in a faith circle that meets once a week, and includes supper together. We also have a family that comes over often to share a weekend burger flipping with us. So, the step is just to invite, really. Make it a pot luck.

Carl Emerson · Jul 14, 2022

RDKirk said:
It would be a failure of the Holy Spirit that Acts-type friendships could not occur between Christians today.

Friendships do occur between pagans, just as they have always occurred between pagans as history shows, so not even human nature is an inherent point of that failure.

So, if such friendships do not occur between Christians, it's not the fault of human nature, nor is it a failure of the Holy Spirit.

If you know other Christians and cannot consider any of them friends, there is something wrong with how you are developing your relationships.

Can you explain how the Holy Spirit can fail ???

Thanks for the remote judgement in the last sentence. Nice deflection from the core issue I raised.

Walk together · Jul 14, 2022

Carl Emerson said:
Can you explain how the Holy Spirit can fail ???

Hi Carl I don't think the Holy Spirit could ever fail and I believe the reason for not being able to make many close friends comes down to the fact that most people have a hard time reading you as I have had the same experience all my life not making very many friends. It is a strange phenomenon that is deep in the psychology of most people we meet.

RDKirk · Jul 14, 2022

Carl Emerson said:
Can you explain how the Holy Spirit can fail ???

Your post casts doubt on the possibility of there being friendship between Christians. If it were possible that there could not be friendship between Christians (note: Grammar in the subjunctive mood), that would be a failure of the Holy Spirit.

If we believe that the Holy Spirit cannot fail, then there is no doubt that Christians can have friendship with other Christians.

Thanks for the remote judgement in the last sentence. Nice deflection from the core issue I raised.

If it's not the failure of the Holy Spirit, then it's us.

Carl Emerson · Jul 14, 2022

RDKirk said:
Your post casts doubt on the possibility of there being friendship between Christians.

Where did I say that ???

Carl Emerson · Jul 14, 2022

Pavel Mosko said:
OH I think that sort of thing is still done. It helps to have some kind of peer group that you connect with.

If am going to wonder out loud if maybe God is calling you to form a Christian Meetup.com group in your area. This was something I tried a bit myself, for a few months until it became clear I needed to move away.

But here is an examples of what I'm talking about in your country.

Wellington Christians (Wellington, New Zealand)

Doesn't look like there are a lot of them, but that actually can be good news. IF you start some kind of Spiritual gifts prayer group, Bible study and potluck you will be "the only game in town" so to speak, and not just your area but what is going on online for the whole country as far as I can tell!

Doing this does cost a little money, but depending on your conscience etc. it can be a real ministry. Or put it this way, all the New Age "healers" and psychics have their stuff going, if you want to make a genuine Christian alternative to all that stuff then this would be one way to do that.

Yes we ran a small house fellowship for a while but He called us to a church and our focus is there for a season.

Our church is heading in a good direction, but it is a long slow commitment.

Joined2krist · Jul 15, 2022

Yes, it is normal. I had friends when i was in the world. They did not help me grow spiritually, and when i had friends as a born again, they made me sin, so i am not sure i want friends. God bless

Carl Emerson · Jul 15, 2022

Paidiske said:
I wouldn't use the word "family" to describe the ethos I'm aiming for.

Here are a few scriptures

Galatians 6:10
Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.

1 Thes 4
9 Now about your love for one another we do not need to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love each other. 10 And in fact, you do love all of God’s family throughout Macedonia.

Hebrews 2:11
Both the one who makes people holy and those who are made holy are of the same family. So Jesus is not ashamed to call them brothers and sisters.

1 Peter 2:17
Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honor the emperor.

1 Peter 5:9
Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

Carl Emerson · Jul 15, 2022

Joined2krist said:
Yes, it is normal. I had friends when i was in the world. They did not help me grow spiritually, and when i had friends as a born again, they made me sin, so i am not sure i want friends. God bless

Doesn't sound like true friends...

Paidiske · Jul 15, 2022

Carl Emerson said:
Here are a few scriptures.

Do you really expect to treat everyone in church as if they were a member of your household? And vice versa? Because I don't think the metaphor's meant to stretch that far.

NBB · Jul 15, 2022

Paidiske said:
Do you really expect to treat everyone in church as if they were a member of your household? And vice versa? Because I don't think the metaphor's meant to stretch that far.

You know the letters, and how people saw how 'look how they love each other' so we SHOULD love brothers and sisters almost like household.

Paidiske · Jul 15, 2022

Almost, perhaps, but it's not the same. Within a family we have obligations that we don't have within the church.

RDKirk · Jul 15, 2022

Carl Emerson said:
Where did I say that ???

You:
Is it 'normal' for believers to have friends?
My wife and I were musing on the fact that true friends are very hard to find in our world.
Now part of the reason is that I have a strong passion for Jesus and as He said we would be hated as He was.
We seem to be light years away from the loving relationships recorded in early Acts.

Carl Emerson · Jul 15, 2022

RDKirk said:
You:
Is it 'normal' for believers to have friends?
My wife and I were musing on the fact that true friends are very hard to find in our world.
Now part of the reason is that I have a strong passion for Jesus and as He said we would be hated as He was.
We seem to be light years away from the loving relationships recorded in early Acts.

RDKirk said:
Your post casts doubt on the possibility of there being friendship between Christians.

So you are claiming my OP casts doubt on the possibility of Christians being friends- I said no such thing.

You must have mis-understood.

I have noted the quote above.

My main message through this is that as Christians we need to return to our first love so that family can again be normative in our churches.

Is it 'normal' for believers to have friends?

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