Is it my attention span?

[KGirl]

I have an issue, and can't seem to figure out if it's just how I'm wired, or if it's negative thinking that I need to somehow change.. But I've noticed an ongoing issue with myself. Anytime I'm stuck at a job where I have to stay in the same place all day long while there I start to feel like I'm losing who I am. I feel like it depresses me. I have the kind of attention span where I feel like I should be moving around or at least having the freedom to go where I wish..
I've tried the job where people move around, but it is too physically difficult for me unfortunately. Luckily the other night I got a random job doing something that wasn't so bad and got to move around. But my main job is being stuck.
I'm not always bad at talking to people on a general basis, but when I'm stuck in a non-creative environment where I'm forced to stay in the same place for hours and hours I feel like it's hard to find things to talk about, along with being in a crummy mood from being at work which makes it hard to be in the mood to talk in general.
There are those rare people who if I work near them and they talk to me and/are responsive to me talking to them then work seems better.

I don't know what to do about it. I feel like I've tried everything. I'll pray about it, praise God and speak positivity. There are the rare days when that works, but then it comes right back.

I feel that my ideal job would be to get paid for singing and playing the keyboard. The only issue with that is I'm not yet having much luck with that. I can still try, but in the mean time I don't know what to do.
Has anyone else felt like this, and what do you think I should do? And what do you think the issue is?

 

[alfrodull]

Man evolved in a world without the internet, without recording devices, without mass market media. If they wanted music they had to make it themselves, or get someone in their immediate vicinity to do it. If they wanted stories they had to make them up or listen to one that had been orally passed along--and probably elaborated on many times in the process. And this creativity was good for us because it stimulated our minds and gave us problem-solving ability and made us happy, and so it became ingrained in us.

And then came modern technology, and now only the lucky few chosen from the best of the best in our entire society get to exercise creativity in a meaningful way. And there is no way around that except to ignore that latent creative energy and have that little hole in our spirit that can never be filled.

 

[Allegory]

I work for a technology startup as a software engineer. I get to be creative constantly (at the cost of the pay being crap).

It's just a matter of finding a job you love, I think. In my world there are jobs where you're a codemonkey and nothing more which is like what you're describing, but there are also jobs like the one im at where I get to make a lot of my own decisions, experiment, and invent things.

you need to figure out what it is YOU want out of your job and work toward that goal, cause nobodys gonna do it for you.

 

[KGirl]

Well, I think it helps that I started to work fewer hours a day. Hopefully that will help. I think I was hitting a low point.. Today wasn't as bad when it comes to that issue.

 

[believetheunseen]

Hey
As a composer and woodwinds instructor, I understand your need for a creative outlet. While my husband was in college, I worked at a finance company, in a cubicle, surrounded by the other drones who were there to get a pay check. I didn't enjoy it at all, but at the time that's what we needed.
My suggestions, and you can take them with a grain of salt (my experiences are different than yours) are these:
First, find something to do after/outside of work that is along your line of work. Go a open mic night, give piano lessons, become a church choir pianist, offer to accompany others, ask to do special music in church, etc.
Secondly, if you are completely serious about the music thing, with the understanding that the likelihood of being a top money making musician is next to none, start making contacts.
The only way I was able to get published was through getting to know people. Talk to local music store owners, put your name out there for performing. Ask if there are bands looking for singers/pianists, every person you meet who is involved in the music community is a connection.
Currently, I'm working at a local music store as a bookkeeper. Don't like bookkeeping, but I talk to every single guitar player on this side of the state, all the band directors, all the choir directors, every pianist and every music enthusiast. I take note of names and numbers that may help in the future.

Hope that helps!

 

[KGirl]

Thanks, it was helpful.. I do have my better moments, but yea there are many times when it's tough doing something monotinous when you feel meant for something better. I know God will make a way.. I guess I was looking for some encouragement and those who understood. I have started to look into restaurants that hire singers a couple nights a week.