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Is it me?

Shannonkish

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Sep 12, 2003
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Is it me? I mean really, is it me?

Today at AB (Applebees, from here on out) didn't go to well. I had 2 tables and was sat 3 times at each, a total of 6 different parties. The least expensive ticket was $12.00. At the end of the night, how much money did I make? A Whopping $20.00. That's it! Then, being that I have never done sidework, I asked my SW partner to explain what I was supposed to do, his response, "Read the SW poster, it is self-explanatory." Well, then I must be an idiot because being that this is my FIRST time working in Casual Dining, I had never heard of half of the things they wanted me to do. Then, there were 4 employees standing around. I ask the group, collectively, "What signatures do I need to get in order to clock out?" 3 of them looked at me and ignored me. So, I asked again, same response. Finally I gave up.

Now, if life was only AB, wouldn't that be nice... okay maybe not. But, life gets more complicated. Driving to work yesterday morning, choclate milk all over me. I changed clothes... mayonaise at lunch all over me... now if you know me, I am not a sloppy eater, I am a very neat eater... I never spill things on me. Not yesterday.

Oh but it gets better. I applied to be a moderator of a forum that I frequent a lot. I was deined because apparently asking, "What does it take to be a moderator?" is not allowed.

Failure after failure... I am beginning to wonder why I even try. Yes, I know that life is full of failures and that success comes to those who bounce back after failure.... but, there comes a point when overwhelming failure just paralyzes you and hope is lost. And well, my hope starting depleting at a very FAST pace a few weeks ago..... there isn't much left.
 

MrsGnomeCrusher

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Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'd like to have you as my waitress at AB. Everytime I've ever gone there, I have had horrible service. That isn't even a pick of mine. I'll only go if someone else wants to.

For anyone just to assume that you're to know what to do is a reflection of poor management and co-workers who need a lesson on teamwork.

I do not know what to tell you because I know how hard it is not to take it personally. But, I think you need to let it all slide off your back and realize that it isn't you. So many people are about themselves and what they want and can get. If they don't like you for even the silliest of reasons, you'll be snubbed. Sad, but true.

I'm guessing this will be a learning experience for you. It's just sad that it has to be hurtful, too. :(
 
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Im_A

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Shannonkish said:
Is it me? I mean really, is it me?

Today at AB (Applebees, from here on out) didn't go to well. I had 2 tables and was sat 3 times at each, a total of 6 different parties. The least expensive ticket was $12.00. At the end of the night, how much money did I make? A Whopping $20.00. That's it! Then, being that I have never done sidework, I asked my SW partner to explain what I was supposed to do, his response, "Read the SW poster, it is self-explanatory." Well, then I must be an idiot because being that this is my FIRST time working in Casual Dining, I had never heard of half of the things they wanted me to do. Then, there were 4 employees standing around. I ask the group, collectively, "What signatures do I need to get in order to clock out?" 3 of them looked at me and ignored me. So, I asked again, same response. Finally I gave up.

Now, if life was only AB, wouldn't that be nice... okay maybe not. But, life gets more complicated. Driving to work yesterday morning, choclate milk all over me. I changed clothes... mayonaise at lunch all over me... now if you know me, I am not a sloppy eater, I am a very neat eater... I never spill things on me. Not yesterday.

Oh but it gets better. I applied to be a moderator of a forum that I frequent a lot. I was deined because apparently asking, "What does it take to be a moderator?" is not allowed.

Failure after failure... I am beginning to wonder why I even try. Yes, I know that life is full of failures and that success comes to those who bounce back after failure.... but, there comes a point when overwhelming failure just paralyzes you and hope is lost. And well, my hope starting depleting at a very FAST pace a few weeks ago..... there isn't much left.
i know what your saying there. i can remember a lot of times of just wanting to give up, and still to this day, i still deal with it. i remember all my failures as they were just yesterday, and most of my failures if not 99.9 percent were all in good intentions and they all just bottomed out on me for no reason. some of them i thought it was God's Will, and those bottomed out. the others, i thought i was into something real and true, and then something made it bottom out. for me, it ranges from relationships, to job situations, to my moving history, to the reasons why i am at my present situation in my own life now. i look back on all that and at times, i think what is the use of this anymore?

there's a song by Elliott Smith called, "Tomorrow, tomorrow", and in one part, the lyrics go, "They took your failures and turned into art." now i don't know what context Elliott Smith was meaning in it, but for me, that has been what i have been doing with my failures. turn them into art. basically, they have been the instruments that have made me who i am today, whether good or bad. all the relationships i have been through and ended, all the times i moved for a new life, and everything failed on me, everytime i thought God's Will was something and then bam, it failed, everytime something came up for a job change, all the times my mother and i have to move because of financial struggles, everything i guess is used as art to create a better future for me, or the future i have faith in God that i want. there was another song, by Soulfly, this metal band, but the title is, "No Hope Equals No Fear." i remember a few years ago, i think 4 now, i heard that song, and i kept on listening to it. and in a way that song made me move out of a city that i was depressed, borderline suicidal, smoking pot, and really messing my life up. i lost all my hope with the world, and even with myself to some degree, so that i can start again with more positive thoughts about myself and trusting in God.

now i am not saying, go out and listen to these songs, or try to find music to help you out, and if that works for you, great. i am just giving my own story.

Try not to focus on the negatives, even when it is hard, or when you focus on them, go through the pain and questioning that comes with that. cause i believe when that happens, you grow, or mature more. so trust me, your not the only one that feels like giving up hope. i know a lot of the hope i have lost, i believe was meant to be that way. some of it i had to give up, to get closer to God, and maybe closer to moving more forward in my own life. certain scriptures helped me out. praying, and being severely honest with God, and not just praying for help to not feel that way, but just state how you feel, non-apologetically. i believe the God we serve is an understanding God. take how Christ asked God in the Garden, that if the cup could be passed over Him, but in the end, Christ remained perfect and holy, and stayed with the Will of the Father. Our own Messiah, felt like giving up. nothing wrong with that. just don't let it ruin your faith. if anything let it strengthen your faith. let those failures bring you closer to God, no matter what kind of failure it is. when those days of questions, pain and confusion come, let it come. we can't stop those days anyways, might as well embrace it, deal with it, and in the end when your faith stands firm through that, we learn lessons, and become closer to God.

God Bless you! <><

Joe

p.s., feel free to email me, private message me if you ever want to talk.
 
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