Great question. Perhaps if more people thought about this there would be less divorce? I want a rain check on this topic, maybe I will get back to you soon..Chrono Traveler said:
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Is it just lust?
- Thread starter Chrono Traveler
- Start date
mpshiel
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- Nov 22, 2003
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I have never seen a good or accurate description of lust so I don't think this question really has context.
there is sexual attraction
There is sexual desire
There is love.
And there are probably other things
I can be attracted to lots of people, male or female - pictures of people, people on TV - do I want to have sex with them? No! I just find them attractive.
Then I guess there would be, the "I'm hot, I'm aroused" section where you would consider sleeping with someone. That you desire them.
now, if you love someone, aren't you also "in love" with them, meaning that you find them attractive, you desire them, you feel better when they are around, you love to touch them, to smell thier smell, etc?
I also am unclear on the idea of sex without "lust" - which is what I always classified as rape - whether it occured within marriage or not. Yeah, I can lay there like a lump and someone can have sex with me. Is that love - I would heavily doubt it.
there is sexual attraction
There is sexual desire
There is love.
And there are probably other things
I can be attracted to lots of people, male or female - pictures of people, people on TV - do I want to have sex with them? No! I just find them attractive.
Then I guess there would be, the "I'm hot, I'm aroused" section where you would consider sleeping with someone. That you desire them.
now, if you love someone, aren't you also "in love" with them, meaning that you find them attractive, you desire them, you feel better when they are around, you love to touch them, to smell thier smell, etc?
I also am unclear on the idea of sex without "lust" - which is what I always classified as rape - whether it occured within marriage or not. Yeah, I can lay there like a lump and someone can have sex with me. Is that love - I would heavily doubt it.
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good call, mpshiel...i fully agree with you.
when someone says they love another person, they love all of them, not just their personality, or just their body, you love everything about them.
there is also a big difference between loving someone, and being in love with someone. the first does not contain any lust whatsoever in most cases i would assume but the latter, probably started as lust.
when you meet you partner for the first time...how can you tell whether you like them as a person or not? the desire to get to know them better, in my opinion starts at its most basic level with lust. someone i am not attracted too, i would not consider for a relationship.
i think that lust is the desire for the body, and love is the extention and fulfillment of finding out that the person is someone you connect with as well.
being honest, i can say that i lust after probably on an average walk through town, 40-50 girls, but do i love any of them? not on your nelly, but i still cannot control my lust and say who i am attracted too. lust to me, is attraction, and naturally if you're attracted you will desire to act on it...i'm attracted to incecream, is it a sin to then want to have some? but if God had said, don't eat icecream between 12 and 2 in the afternoon, then i could control my craving and just wait. it is the same with lust, you can have it, and it lets you know who you would consider for a relationship, but it only becomes a sin, when you act on it in a selfish way with only your fulfillment in mind.
i think that lust is perfectly normal and neccessary and the stage before love. I don't think i've ever been in love with anyone, maybe one person, but i know wherever my feelings have grown, they begun as lust first.
when someone says they love another person, they love all of them, not just their personality, or just their body, you love everything about them.
there is also a big difference between loving someone, and being in love with someone. the first does not contain any lust whatsoever in most cases i would assume but the latter, probably started as lust.
when you meet you partner for the first time...how can you tell whether you like them as a person or not? the desire to get to know them better, in my opinion starts at its most basic level with lust. someone i am not attracted too, i would not consider for a relationship.
i think that lust is the desire for the body, and love is the extention and fulfillment of finding out that the person is someone you connect with as well.
being honest, i can say that i lust after probably on an average walk through town, 40-50 girls, but do i love any of them? not on your nelly, but i still cannot control my lust and say who i am attracted too. lust to me, is attraction, and naturally if you're attracted you will desire to act on it...i'm attracted to incecream, is it a sin to then want to have some? but if God had said, don't eat icecream between 12 and 2 in the afternoon, then i could control my craving and just wait. it is the same with lust, you can have it, and it lets you know who you would consider for a relationship, but it only becomes a sin, when you act on it in a selfish way with only your fulfillment in mind.
i think that lust is perfectly normal and neccessary and the stage before love. I don't think i've ever been in love with anyone, maybe one person, but i know wherever my feelings have grown, they begun as lust first.
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Evee said:
Lol....you think so? It wasent about me really, tho that is how I feel about someone....I waslooking for points of view, as I am doing research.
Thanks tho, makes me feel good =p
hyperborean said:
Well i think thats more about actual lusting outside of marriage..
Tahts what really worries me. My friends are always asking about random girls walking past in the mall or what ever....."look at her, think shes cute sam"......sure whatever,
they might be, but no one could match my love, to me at least...and I don't care what 6 billion other people think..
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Eph. 3:20
Well-Known Member
mpshiel said:
Hey mpshiel, I always enjoy your perspective.
I think you're right. Many of us confuse sex and love. And then you throw lust in there and forget it. You can have sex without being in love and you can be in love without having sex. Sex is not love it is pleasure. When combined with love, sex is intensified. Sex with the one we love intensifies the enjoyment and emotion of sex. Just in the same way as eating a meal with good friends intisifies the meal as opposed to eating with complete stramgers. Marriages that are founded on sex will not endure past the physical limitations of our bodies and our physical capacity for sex. But marriages that are founded on love will remain strong despite whatever else comes along. That's why love is so central to the Gospel message and to the ministry of Jesus; loves endures all, love gives all.
Lust has the connotation of serving "self." The very nature of love is the desire to give to the loved one all that will make them happy; to sacrifice for the sake of happiness and satisfaction of the loved one. It's no small wonder the the Greek word used in Matt 5:27,28 "if a man look upon a woman to lust after her..." is the same Greek word used in Romans "Thou shalt not covet" (Rom. 7:7). The word has the sense of taking possesion of something for one's self, not just looking with appreciation. It is "self" centered rather than "other" centered.
It's been noted that the "looking with sexual appreciation" is part of the mating process. Who can believe that anybody involved in a serious relationship has not thought sexually about their mate or potential mate? Are we to consider this sinful? If this thought process is inherent in our being and it's part of what draws us to eachother, then it's part of who God created us to be as humans. The desire or attraction that we feel toward one another is far different than the "lust" that we are told about in Scripture. If some want to persue this further, I'll be happy to post the Biblical definitions of lust.
-Eph. 3:20
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