Is it just a stage?

[~PICKLE~]

My 5 year old son has gained a smart mouth. NOt sure if it's just a stage, and I'm not sure how to get him to stop. Both me and daddy are taking turns everyday to do something different with him and show him he is loved. Things have been rough with him since his sister was born last year. WE do take the time with him and it seems like it's just getting worse.

 

[Katydid]

No, I don't believe it is a phase. I think it needs to be stopped as soon as possible. I don't know your philosophy on parenting. I am a pro-spanking person. I would tell him that if he smarts off again, that he will get a swat. Then, the next time he smarted off, I would swat him. I would be 100% consistent with this. If you don't believe in spanking, then you need something that you can be equally consistent with.

 

[newcreature]

I have three children ages 5, 4, and 3. On occasion they will try to smart mouth me or my husband, but we will nip it in the bud. We have been very consistant in saying that smart talk, sassing, etc., is totally unacceptable in our house. And to others for that matter. If the smart mouthing continues, discipline of some sort is the action we take; no questions asked! Once they have settled, and stopped the smart mouthing, we sit them down, and explain in terms that they understand why it is unacceptable behavior.

Love is never denied them.

 

[Kiwi]

Yeah, our 4 year old took to that since her little sister was born, she gets a warning then if she does it again she gets time out. I'm been watching a reality tv show called 'brat camp' where horrible teenagers are sent to camps to straighten themselves out and they all had really foul mouths and terrible ways of talking to their parents so it has made me even more determined to nipe it in the bud.

 

[MsAnne]

Oh it's just a phase. My 22 year old should be growing out of it any day now!

 

[andiesmama]

Washing the mouth out with soap....my mom did that once with me and that was all it took! I won't hesitate to do that with Andie, if it comes to that...

 

[andiesmama]

Oh it's just a phase. My 22 year old should be growing out of it any day now!

Thanks for the chuckle...yikes!

 

[Addicted2~Jesus]

I absouletly agree wit Katydid an Andiesmama, Spanks after warnins an washin out wit soap probably after the spank hehe I had my mouth washed... wish I coulda said jes once LOL an I woulda rathered the spank instead. No I also agree it isn't a phase, it's sumthin that's gotta be curbed an I dare say curbed rather sharply, cause he's only 5, when he's 15 it'll be all ya can do to hope what comes out of his mouth isn't smartin off hehe

 

[lucypevensie]

I agree with the others that it's not a phase. A smart mouth needs to be dealth with with some serious consequenses. I am not opposed to my kids telling me their point of view or even disagreeing with me. But they can and should learn how to disagree kindly.

 

[bliz]

A smart mouth should never be tolerated.

Apologize to your son for letting him get away with it. Tell him that you are very sorry that you allowed him to behave in an inappropriate way and that you are no longer going to let that happen. Becasue you love him, you are gong to do everything you can do to teach him the right way to behave.

And then, the next day, it's a whole new world for him. When he is "smart", lable it "That is inappropriate language and a disrespectful way for you to speak to me. Please apologize to me now." If, in a short space of time, thie reoccours, there should be a punishment. It's going to be a rough road for a few days. Be sure that there aren't things happening (llike a visit from the grandparents) that will cause you to back off during the first week. Hang tough. For the love of your kid.

 

[cinni]

I really don;t know how to handle this situation my daughter has been behaving like it since before she started schoiol i would say it started when my son was born 4 years ago and I have tried smacking the smart mouth out of her and i hav yelled, swcreamed pulled hair out and nothing she i say makes any differnce i even tried to show her by example i do all the time out things and for me they donlt work. So all i can say is goodluck and i hope you have better luck then me. I will be keeping an eye on this thread to see if i can learn soething that will help me discipline mty daughter.

 

[Katydid]

I really don;t know how to handle this situation my daughter has been behaving like it since before she started schoiol i would say it started when my son was born 4 years ago and I have tried smacking the smart mouth out of her and i hav yelled, swcreamed pulled hair out and nothing she i say makes any differnce i even tried to show her by example i do all the time out things and for me they donlt work. So all i can say is goodluck and i hope you have better luck then me. I will be keeping an eye on this thread to see if i can learn soething that will help me discipline mty daughter.

If I can make some suggestions...

First off, they smart off to get a reaction, so if you react by yelling, screaming, or explaining how much that hurt mommy's feelings, they have accomplished their goal. Our method is simple, if our child smarts off, I don't react, I look at him and say in a very calm very happy sounding voice, "that is not acceptable, now you have to get a spanking", I usually kinda shrug and then swat their hiney. After a few times of them seeing that

1. They aren't getting the reaction they want

2. Them getting punished and not even getting the reaction

They get the idea that this is one button of momma's that they can't push.


You can't take it personally, and you have to realize that any reaction other than, "this isn't acceptable and there are consequences" they realize that this isn't what they were looking for.

 

[HeatherJay]

Some good advice here. My 6 year old has tried on occassion to get smart with her daddy and I. She gets a warning first..."Emily, that's rude...please, change your tone now"...and if she keeps it up then she gets a spanking. Neither of us put up with smart-mouthing, and she doesn't try it very often.

It also helps, though, that we (her daddy and me) have got each others back. Like, if she smarts off to me, then it's usually her daddy that jumps on her before I can get a word in..."Emily, don't let me hear you talk to your Mama that way again"...and likewise if she smarts off to Daddy, it's usually me who gets on to her. I think the fact that she knows from the start that she's outnumbered is a great deterent to unacceptable behavior like smart-mouthing.

 

[Picture.Of.Obedience]

My husband said kinds dont go through phases. He whole heartedly believes that they do not go through phases.
He will not let that be an excuse in our house...lol..

 

[ShannonMcCatholic]

Washing the mouth out with soap....my mom did that once with me and that was all it took! I won't hesitate to do that with Andie, if it comes to that...

When Lucy was 3 1/2 she kept using the Lord's name in vain (I think she liked the reaction it got) and I busted out the Ivory and it has never happened again....

 

[Katydid]

When Lucy was 3 1/2 she kept using the Lord's name in vain (I think she liked the reaction it got) and I busted out the Ivory and it has never happened again....

I prefer Irish Spring, it leaves a minty fresh breath behind. LOL

 

[Hisrosebud]

Can I just interject about the soap? My mother washed my step brother's mouth out with soap and she was arrested because he had chemical burns. The charges were dropped because the court felt that a lot of people were raised by parents who used soap when soap was not full of chemicals that they have today.

Please be careful in using soap, they contain harsh chemicals that can burn your child's mouth and may get you an unwanted visit from social services. If you choose to use soap maybe use one like dish detergent that does not have chemicals---call your local poision control center to find out which ones are safe if a child ingests some accidentialy.

Now about that wising off,
I first point out to my child that what they said was inappropriate. When they do it again, I calmly use time out. I liked the previous post that said not to react, yell or give them reactions.
I do use spankings but only rarely and for blatant rebellion. That way the impact stays strong. I find that frequent spankings weakens the fear of them. Consistency irregardless of what you do really does bring about changes.



Jane