Is it impossible not to judge or feel judged?

[dodger1234]

If my wife is doing something that she feels is OK but she knows i would not do myself because i think it is wrong, isn't she going to feel as though i am judging her whenever i see her doing it?

And aren't i going to be 'judging' her when i do see her doing this because it is impossible for me not to recognise that she is doing something i would not do?

 

[Magisterium]

Here's an excerpt from a larger post of mine in another thread on the same topic:

We fail too often to recognize the difference between judging actions or attitudes and judging persons. We are forbidden as Christians to judge one another, however, we are instructed to "admonish" one another time and again in scripture. Admonishment can only come through the judging and condemning of actions. You should make your wife aware of the fact that you are not judging her, but judging her actions according to what is required of her as a Christian.

 

[CRitabe]

isn't she going to feel as though I am judging her whenever I see her doing it?

What feeling would that be? Guilty, sad, angry, disappointed? "As though I am judging her" is not a feeling.
No one can say what "she" will feel - no one knows what anyone will feel - their feelings are based upon their history, experiences and convictions.

And aren't i going to be 'judging' her when i do see her doing this because it is impossible for me not to recognise that she is doing something i would not do?

What judgment are you going to make? That she is doing something bad because "you" believe it is wrong? Or that if it is wrong for you, then it has to be wrong for everyone, especially her? Even though she is doing something that you might not - what right do you have to judge her? Just because you are her husband, doesn't make you her God. She has One that is quite capable of doing the judging, I think. You are supposed to love her - not judge her. That is my take.

 

[hugoguttman]

We have two dogs at home. Sometimes, my mother use to get them into house as she thinks it´s very hot and sunny outside in the backyard. When the dogs are inside, they spread "hairs" and the place where they lay smell to dogs!!!

For this reasons I just dont like to have them inside the house and I have let my mother to know it. But she simply says...it´s hot outside. If I insist...maybe she could feel umconfortable. It´s just like pulling a cord in opossite directions. So I decided to give my mother her part and I just dont say nothing at all. We still have dogs inside house, but I dont have an angry mother in front of me. I could call this...TOLERANCY.
But If I see my mother stealin something from supermarket...catching her saying lies... OR SOMETHING THAT GOES AGAINST MORAL VALUES OR THINGS AGAINST GOD´S STATEMENTS... and her trying to justify her actions...let me tell you that I will not rest until she gets the point I want her to see.
I can call this...

Hugo.