Is it hypocritical of me to pray?

[godshapedhole]

I'm not sure what the correct term for my belief system is, atheist or agnostic - I don't have an active disbelief of God, I just lack belief, if he's there, I don't see Him, nor do I believe that Jesus was his son and that he died for our sins. But I do get momentary glimpses of something "other" and "greater", but only very rarely and fleeting. I would like to be a Christian, but I can't just force myself to believe what is in the Bible, when everything else I know tells me it's impossible.

I say the Lord's Prayer every day, and yet during prayer I simultaneously believe and disbelieve what I'm saying. I mean it sincerely, but at the same time another part of me is telling me God's not really there and that I'm just reciting some silly verse to myself. From a Christian standpoint, is this wrong and blasphemous, to pray when you don't truly believe, or can it be the beginning of a path to God?

 

[paul1149]

Whatever it may be, you're being honest about it. You're being honest about your spiritual need, and your discomfort is causing you to seek answers. These are both very good things. If this was a stagnant situation, where religion was being used as a cover for avoiding God or doing evil, that would be different.

The truth is, we all have imperfect faith. We all struggle in areas of belief. The man with the demonized son had imperfect faith. His first words to Jesus were, "If You can do anything". When Jesus answered that all things are possible to him that believes, the man then replied, "I believe. Help Thou my unbelief". His request was granted. The key was that he was willing to act on what faith he had, rather than resting on his unbelief.

The parable of the sower teaches that there are four basic conditions of the heart, likened to hardened, shallow, weedy, and fine soil. But we are not given this observation in the spirit of, "well, what you've got, you've got. Tough luck, buddy if you don't make the grade". We're given this as a tool to understand where we are so we can remedy our situation.

In the Sermon on the Plain in Luke, Jesus says,

“Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do what I tell you?
Everyone who comes to me and hears my words and does them, I will show you what he is like:
he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when a flood arose, the stream broke against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built.
But the one who hears and does not do them is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. When the stream broke against it, immediately it fell, and the ruin of that house was great.” -Luke 6:46-49​

That digging deep is a process. The solid rock is there, but there would be no need to dig deep if it were not covered over. Each of us has stuff to dig through, and solid foundation to find. Jesus is that solid Rock, and finding Him is shown here to be a process of applying obedience to His Word, to the problem. If you obey the Light already given, more will be given.

In Acts 17, the Bereans received the Word gladly, and searched the scriptures daily to know whether the Gospel was true. If you want God, or at least want to give Him a fair chance, then keep searching, and ask Him to lead you. Everyone who seeks, finds, we are promised. There's often a key that will unlock faith. I had one friend who was hung up on the Creation account. Once she researched it and found it actually is reasonable, her objections to belief in God and the Bible melted away. She's a strong Christian to this day.

Don't give up. Jesus is faithful even when we are not. The Good Shepherd has sought us far more than we, Him.

 

[Take Heart]

Just to build up on what Paul1149 said above, I personally believe that it's a beautiful beginning to the path to God.
I also struggled with the same issues as you- doubt and faith- even after I chose to accept Him into my life. But that's normal. As I fellowship with brothers and sisters in Christ, I begin to recognize that everyone struggles with faith in the beginning. And I think that in order to find answers, one must face doubts and ask questions. c:
So thanks for being honest and for sharing what you're going through. That takes strength.

Here's a video that has answered some questions that I have been struggling with back then. I believe that it answers most of your questions as well.

This guy..is down to earth- he doesn't make his messages boring- and he's quite funny during it.

I intentionally skipped it to the time in the video that I wanted you to view it from [should start at 52:22]. I've probably watched this about 8 times already.. it's super powerful and far from boring. I highly recommend it

 

[godshapedhole]

Thanks for the replies guys, and thanks also for the link to the video. It's strange, I see something in Christianity, but I can't quite put my finger on it and why it moves me. It's hard for me to accept many things in the Bible and the things modern Christians believe, because my educational background is in science - I have to reconcile science and the Bible, and that's not easy. I believe science is a noble quest, if God and Christ are true, I think it should be a wonderful thing to use the brains he gave us to understand his glorious creation, and marvel in its splendour, and celebrate it.

I wouldn't want to offend God - if he exists - or Christians, by praying when I am so utterly full of doubt, that's what I was worried about. But I hope it is right to keep praying, and pray that my heart may be softened enough for Him to show himself to me. Until now, I've only had the tiniest glimpses, the smallests blips that have turned me in God's direction, but I would be lying if I said I believe. As an atheist I always held love, compassion, forgiveness and honesty as of paramount importance, which is why I'm trying here to be as honest as I can about my doubtfulness and disbelief.

 

[paul1149]

YW, GSH. If you are a scientist, you know the critical value of making sure your assumptions are sound. God's Word fully supports science and rational inquiry, while at the same time asserting a higher reality than mere rationalism can offer. There is no conflict between faith and science, only another dimension added. This is how some of history's greatest scientists, such as Newton, Einstein, Bacon and others, could be believers and scientists, both.

 

[godshapedhole]

Life is so funny. I went into my city's beautiful old Anglican cathedral today, for the first time in many years, also for the first time of my own free will, and there's a place with a book to write your prayers to God, and a sand pit to put votive candles into. I wrote my prayer, that God may soften my heart so I could receive his light. My prayer was quite literally and immediately answered. I took a candle, lit it, and as I was placing it in the sand, a bright, red hot ember of the long wick landed on my finger and seared me with pain, I recoiled, and it fell, still bright, onto the (wooden) cathedral floor where I stamped it out, but I didn't curse, I just steeled myself and accepted the pain.

Three explanations: a. God answered my prayer and gave me a strong sign of his presence, b. I misunderstood the church ritual and God got angry with me, or c. I'm clumsy with my fingers, and by chance I had the misfortune to have a piece of wick fall onto my skin, where I now have two blisters on my ring finger. Either way, I find it quite funny!

 

[Joyful Mama]

I also struggle with the same issues as you sometimes. I consider myself a Christian but there are definitely times more recently where I feel that my faith is very weak. The fact that I feel so uncomfortable and my soul feels so unsettled during these times tells me that I know it's because I am seeking God. I just continue to pray to tell God that I want a relationship with him and keep trying to open up my heart to Him.

It doesn't offend anyone if your prayers are full of doubt. God wants you to open up communication with him no matter what. Be honest with God.

 

[graceandpeace]

Plenty of Christians struggle with doubt, or experience waves of unbelief. I think this is not particular to Christianity, but can apply to any religion, because doubt & seeking are part of the human experience. I do think praying is another avenue of seeking, so keep praying if it brings you closer to what you're searching for.

I don't know what specifically in the Bible troubles you, but regarding science many Christians are accepting of modern scientific consensus on various issues, so I don't think that should cause a problem.

The hope of the Christisn faith is beautiful & compelling, which is why I'm a believer.

 

[sunsurfkdt]

It's good that you are praying, regardless, G-d is pleased. You will come around if you keep on seeking ...and He will give you a heart of flesh. But you're moving in the right direction, G-d is leading you, you just haven't realized .

 

[Steven Wood]

Thanks for the replies guys, and thanks also for the link to the video. It's strange, I see something in Christianity, but I can't quite put my finger on it and why it moves me. It's hard for me to accept many things in the Bible and the things modern Christians believe, because my educational background is in science - I have to reconcile science and the Bible, and that's not easy. I believe science is a noble quest, if God and Christ are true, I think it should be a wonderful thing to use the brains he gave us to understand his glorious creation, and marvel in its splendour, and celebrate it.

I wouldn't want to offend God - if he exists - or Christians, by praying when I am so utterly full of doubt, that's what I was worried about. But I hope it is right to keep praying, and pray that my heart may be softened enough for Him to show himself to me. Until now, I've only had the tiniest glimpses, the smallests blips that have turned me in God's direction, but I would be lying if I said I believe. As an atheist I always held love, compassion, forgiveness and honesty as of paramount importance, which is why I'm trying here to be as honest as I can about my doubtfulness and disbelief.

You know I have a lot of respect for you and believe it or not you're talked about in the Bible. In Romans (don't quote me but I think it's chapter 5) Paul talks about non-jews holding true to Jewish laws Honestly if you or anyone does not know God then how can they possibly be expected to hold true to his commands but you find yourself praying to him so therefore you know there's a truth and a comfort to Jesus. As for not believing the things in the Bible to be true or reconciling science and the Bible. First of all I'll start off telling you this, Jesus said you need faith the size of a mustard seed for a reason. God came to earth as a man and had a disciple called "doubting Thomas" because he knew that we are a race of "we have to see to believe". Faith is a very hard thing for us and in turn that is also why faith is required and required in a very small amount and will grow. Trust me when I say that once you trust God with something very very small,he will prove that he is real and your faith in him will continue to grow that's how it works.Secondly (and I get flak in this all the time but it's true) Don't put any stock in what the church tells you is "christianity". It IS NOT what Christianity truly is and is not. The modern day church is so mistaken, misinformed, and twisted up in worldly things nowadays that Jesus would once again make a whip and chase most of the people out of the churches if he were here today. There are very very few true Christians people can tell who they are. All things come with time friend. Don't ever feel ashamed for praying, just continue to look for the right things( little churches stay away from the big mega churches). Ask questions and if you ever really have any questions even though you don't really believe try asking God to answer some questions then open your Bible to any part of the New Testament, you'll be surprised. And if you want to follow me by clicking my pic and send me a pm, I'll be glad to answer anything if I can. I'll be straightforward with you. I won't candy coat anything just from a "God loves you" point of view.

 

[ToBeLoved]

Thanks for the replies guys, and thanks also for the link to the video. It's strange, I see something in Christianity, but I can't quite put my finger on it and why it moves me. It's hard for me to accept many things in the Bible and the things modern Christians believe, because my educational background is in science - I have to reconcile science and the Bible, and that's not easy. I believe science is a noble quest, if God and Christ are true, I think it should be a wonderful thing to use the brains he gave us to understand his glorious creation, and marvel in its splendour, and celebrate it.

I wouldn't want to offend God - if he exists - or Christians, by praying when I am so utterly full of doubt, that's what I was worried about. But I hope it is right to keep praying, and pray that my heart may be softened enough for Him to show himself to me. Until now, I've only had the tiniest glimpses, the smallests blips that have turned me in God's direction, but I would be lying if I said I believe. As an atheist I always held love, compassion, forgiveness and honesty as of paramount importance, which is why I'm trying here to be as honest as I can about my doubtfulness and disbelief.

God tells us in His Word that when we seek Him we will find Him. You keep praying.

 

[Soyeong]

I'm not sure what the correct term for my belief system is, atheist or agnostic - I don't have an active disbelief of God, I just lack belief, if he's there, I don't see Him, nor do I believe that Jesus was his son and that he died for our sins. But I do get momentary glimpses of something "other" and "greater", but only very rarely and fleeting. I would like to be a Christian, but I can't just force myself to believe what is in the Bible, when everything else I know tells me it's impossible.

I say the Lord's Prayer every day, and yet during prayer I simultaneously believe and disbelieve what I'm saying. I mean it sincerely, but at the same time another part of me is telling me God's not really there and that I'm just reciting some silly verse to myself. From a Christian standpoint, is this wrong and blasphemous, to pray when you don't truly believe, or can it be the beginning of a path to God?

Though there is some disagreement about this, but I think an atheist is someone who says that God does not exist. The only neutral position is that of the agnostic who doesn't know whether God exists. It is not possible to force yourself to believe something, nor does anyone ask that of you. You can only believe something is true because that is what you think the evidence most strongly supports. The only way for it to be hypocritical for you to pay would be if you said that it was wrong to pray and then you prayed. Many of our greatest scientists have been theists, so there is nothing contradictory between science and the belief in God.

 

[godshapedhole]

In answer to Steven Wood, I just read Romans, and Romans 2:14-15 says:

14 Even Gentiles, who do not have God’s written law, show that they know his law when they instinctively obey it, even without having heard it.15 They demonstrate that God’s law is written in their hearts, for their own conscience and thoughts either accuse them or tell them they are doing right.


In answer to Soyeong, I believe the word "atheist" has several definitions; atheist as in a-theist, that is, someone who does not believe in God, but does not actively disbelieve either, or it can mean someone who actively denies the existence of God. I can't believe in the supernatural or the miraculous, but I don't believe it's wrong to pray. Maybe when I pray God hears me, or maybe when I pray, I am heard by no one, but the prayer focuses all my mental energy in a helpful way to make me a better person. Either way, I have to believe it's okay.

 

[Soyeong]

In answer to Soyeong, I believe the word "atheist" has several definitions; atheist as in a-theist, that is, someone who does not believe in God, but does not actively disbelieve either, or it can mean someone who actively denies the existence of God. I can't believe in the supernatural or the miraculous, but I don't believe it's wrong to pray. Maybe when I pray God hears me, or maybe when I pray, I am heard by no one, but the prayer focuses all my mental energy in a helpful way to make me a better person. Either way, I have to believe it's okay.

The prefix a- is the negation, and the negation of something is the equal and opposite position, not the null position. In other words, the only neutral position is 0, theists take a position that God exists, or 1, and atheists take negation or the equal and opposite position that God does not exist, or -1. If you move at all from the neutral position of not knowing whether something is true on any topic, then you shoulder the burden of proof. Atheism inherently can not be a neutral position because it is the negation of another position, not the null position. New atheists want to play fast and loose with the definition by doing a two-step where they are at -1, but act like they are at 0 in order to avoid shouldering the burden of proof, but it doesn't work that way.

Science only speaks in regard to things that are observable, measurable, and repeatable, but it is silent on anything that doesn't fit into those categories, so it can't confirm or reject the supernatural or the miraculous. It's a very useful tool, but it's simply the wrong tool for that job, like trying to cut a steel cable with a screw driver.

I don't see anything wrong with praying, though I find believing in the existence of the universe without God to be more miraculous than believing in the existence of the universe with God. Getting something from nothing, getting life from non-life, getting order from chaos, and getting the immaterial from the material all strain credulity.

 

[zippy2006]

I believe science is a noble quest, if God and Christ are true, I think it should be a wonderful thing to use the brains he gave us to understand his glorious creation, and marvel in its splendour, and celebrate it.

The great Christian traditions would agree wholeheartedly.

I wouldn't want to offend God - if he exists - or Christians, by praying when I am so utterly full of doubt, that's what I was worried about. But I hope it is right to keep praying, and pray that my heart may be softened enough for Him to show himself to me. Until now, I've only had the tiniest glimpses, the smallests blips that have turned me in God's direction, but I would be lying if I said I believe. As an atheist I always held love, compassion, forgiveness and honesty as of paramount importance, which is why I'm trying here to be as honest as I can about my doubtfulness and disbelief.

Ask God to reveal himself to you. Chat with him about your problem of unbelief. Cf. Mark 9:24

 

[godshapedhole]

Thanks for the reference to that verse zippy2006, I will remember it.

I find believing in the existence of the universe without God to be more miraculous than believing in the existence of the universe with God. Getting something from nothing, getting life from non-life, getting order from chaos, and getting the immaterial from the material all strain credulity.

You say it strains credulity... But imagine if it were found to be true! The "why" of the big bang hasn't yet been explained, and the "how" of non-life to life has yet to be explained, but we see order from chaos, we see crystals forming, stars and planets forming, a decrease in entropy, but not violating the laws of thermodynamics. We've already discovered the mechanisms for the evolution of life from relatively simple organisms to incredibly complex organisms such as ouselves, I think it may be just a matter of time before we answer the big "something out of nothing" and "non-life to life" questions, perhaps not in our lifetimes, but someday, perhaps.

I also take your point about atheism. I'm not sure what label, if labels are necessary, would describe me. I do not actively deny the existence of God, I simply don't see him, though I would certainly like to. So, practically speaking, I don't believe in God. I plead ignorance. Maybe that makes me an agnostic.

 

[Soyeong]

You say it strains credulity... But imagine if it were found to be true! The "why" of the big bang hasn't yet been explained, and the "how" of non-life to life has yet to be explained, but we see order from chaos, we see crystals forming, stars and planets forming, a decrease in entropy, but not violating the laws of thermodynamics. We've already discovered the mechanisms for the evolution of life from relatively simple organisms to incredibly complex organisms such as ouselves, I think it may be just a matter of time before we answer the big "something out of nothing" and "non-life to life" questions, perhaps not in our lifetimes, but someday, perhaps.

I also take your point about atheism. I'm not sure what label, if labels are necessary, would describe me. I do not actively deny the existence of God, I simply don't see him, though I would certainly like to. So, practically speaking, I don't believe in God. I plead ignorance. Maybe that makes me an agnostic.

You say you can't believe in the supernatural or in miracles...But imagine if the Bible were true! You see results of the Big Bang, of life coming into being, of order coming from chaos, and of the material coming from the material, and study them and give names to the processes, but we can't account for their causes. Why do laws that govern the formation of crystals and plants exist in chaos in the first place? "Nothing" has no properties, which means it has no potential for something to come from it, so it is impossible for something to come from it, so the things I listed are the miracles of naturalism. Naturalism of the Gaps is just as incredulous as God of the Gaps. The more we learn about DNA, the more that we find out how much we don't know about it, so if you believe someone who passes a wand over a human cell and says that it came about by chance over billions of years, then you should have no difficulty believing the miracles of theism.

I agree that agnostic is the term that best describes you.

 

[pursuetruth]

Original poster, it seems as if your screename says it all! God shaped hole. We are all born with that. We try to fill it with so many indulgences, but none of them are that puzzle piece in our heart. For years I tried to fill that space with promiscuity (I wanted so much to be loved) and Oreos. (I'll try any shape, and they tasted good, lol). Then I discovered God and He is that missing piece.
Because of my free will, I sometimes want to take out that Divine Piece and try something else. That something else NEVER soothes. All it does is distract and cause its own problems.
I pray that you keep saying the Lord's Prayer. I would also recommend that you buy a version of the Bible called "The Message". It's the Bible, written out like a novel. I think you will learn a lot about how much God loves you from it.

 

[MennoSota]

The simple answer is that faith is not a feeling. It does not depend on you. Also, God doesn't need our prayers. He's completely comfortable without them. You don't win brownie points for praying.
God will either open your heart to His grace and mercy or He won't. It's not your responsibility. Just read the Bible. Perhaps God will open your heart.

 

[ToBeLoved]

Thanks for the reference to that verse zippy2006, I will remember it.



You say it strains credulity... But imagine if it were found to be true! The "why" of the big bang hasn't yet been explained, and the "how" of non-life to life has yet to be explained, but we see order from chaos, we see crystals forming, stars and planets forming, a decrease in entropy, but not violating the laws of thermodynamics. We've already discovered the mechanisms for the evolution of life from relatively simple organisms to incredibly complex organisms such as ouselves, I think it may be just a matter of time before we answer the big "something out of nothing" and "non-life to life" questions, perhaps not in our lifetimes, but someday, perhaps.

I also take your point about atheism. I'm not sure what label, if labels are necessary, would describe me. I do not actively deny the existence of God, I simply don't see him, though I would certainly like to. So, practically speaking, I don't believe in God. I plead ignorance. Maybe that makes me an agnostic.

I just noticed that you are new to CF. Welcome!