Is it ethical and moral to put your faith before your children?

[Sarniaroses]

I have a young relative and her husband who are so holy they make even Christian members of my family want to puke. "So heavenly minded, but no earthly use", was a phrase that could have been created just for them! When their first child was born a year ago, they gave him a short mention in passing in the birth anouncement, and then went on to say how much more important Jesus was than their baby, how sick is that?

If you believe the story of Abraham to be true, how on earth could a loving father possibly consider sacrificing his only son just because some deity told him to? He should have told the deity to take a hike. I don't think any modern judge would be too sympathetic if Abraham was up on a child cruelty charge and used the excuse, "God told me to".

Some years ago some missionaries and their children were slaughtered in Africa, they had been warned the country they were proteslysing in was very dangerous, but they still chose to put their young children in harm's way. No sign of their version of God riding to the rescue!

In my opinion, if the way you practise your faith makes it more important than your children, or actually puts them in danger emotional or physical, it is unethical and immoral.

 

[annrobert]

Is it ethical and moral to put your faith before your children?

It is absolutely impossible to be putting your children first if you are not putting Jesus first.

They must see a living example of putting Jesus first and showing love and kindness and compassion and mercy for God.

They must see a living example of submission and trust in their loving Saviour and Redeemer and Creator,

who love them and laid down His life for them so that they could have their sins forgiven and washed away and have everlasting life

full of love and peace and joy


They need a living example that Jesus saves and answers prayer and is an ever present help in time of need

that Jesus is the Way the Truth and the Life

Jesus is the Truth

His words never pass away


Jesus is the Resurrection and the life

without Him we have no life

Jesus is the Way

the only Way


to live

to love

to forgive

to obey

Jesus knows the right way to live

also by believing in Him

we have everlasting life

instead of ever lasting shame and contempt


This world

and society

will teach children their ways and beliefs


and believers in Jesus will their children the Truth


The way of love and forgiveness

the way to trust enough to obey and surrender

to their Saviour and Creator

who forgives sins

and saves to the uttermost

who hears our prayers

and heals us and comforts us

and restores our souls

an ever present help in time of need

He gives us peace and rest

He leads us and guisdes us


The only way to truly put our children first


is to put Jesus first



oh why do some people rage against Him


who made us and loves and cares for us

and has prepared a place in heaven for us


though while on this earth people suffer

for christians it shall not be compared to the glory revealed in us

and while we are here Jesus is with us giving us peace and comfort and guidance


peace that the world cannot comprehend

and joy that the worls cannot take away


and a love that goes deeper than deep

and forgiveness and mercy that is not understood


and an obedience and trust

that baffles and even enrages some people some people

who see only with the natural eyes

and care only about this short short life here on earth


and searching after things that will not last or satisfy

while we not onlycare for our childrens natural needs but also


teach them about their Saviour

who forgives sins and comfiorts and gives eternal life

and peace and joy and love


yes the only way to put our children first is to put Jesus first

 

[Autumnleaf]

If God talks to you and you ignore him, I don't see how that would be good for either you or your child.

Faith in God is more important than children. As evidence of this just look at how parents these days put their children first and spoil these children with permissiveness and material possessions. Then when these kids grow up they don't have the foundations to live a morally sound life so they get tangled up in lazyness and all manner of vice. Versus families where God comes first and children learn respect for God, themselves, and others. They turn out to be responsible contributing members of society more often than their Godless peers.

 

[Sarniaroses]

yes the only way to put our children first is to put Jesus first

Belief in the enigma that was Jesus is just that a belief, one's children are a reality. I am willing to bet that the gospel stories are more fiction than fact, and based on hearsay and exaggeration. It find it really unbelievable that anyone could possibly put their faith first!

 

[Verv]

I have a young relative and her husband who are so holy they make even Christian members of my family want to puke. "So heavenly minded, but no earthly use", was a phrase that could have been created just for them! When their first child was born a year ago, they gave him a short mention in passing in the birth anouncement, and then went on to say how much more important Jesus was than their baby, how sick is that?

If you believe the story of Abraham to be true, how on earth could a loving father possibly consider sacrificing his only son just because some deity told him to? He should have told the deity to take a hike. I don't think any modern judge would be too sympathetic if Abraham was up on a child cruelty charge and used the excuse, "God told me to".

First: The full story of Abraham includes a long bit about how God gave the child to Abraham in miraculous circumstances. Having witnessed a personal miracle that he was indebted to God to, it makes more sense in the context, as the promise still stood that he would have children more numerous than grains of sand (and you are one of his children).

It is a story that a lot of non-believers can criticize but makes sense from a Christian perspective.

I think that if you were to truly open your heart to the way a Christian views it you would understand.

However, I agree it is inappropriate that the child was only mentioned in passing as it si a gift from God and the new charge that they have in their lives, given by God, and rather than being 'lower than Jesus' it is the highest and most gracious gift bestowed upon them by Our Lord.

]quote]Some years ago some missionaries and their children were slaughtered in Africa, they had been warned the country they were proteslysing in was very dangerous, but they still chose to put their young children in harm's way. No sign of their version of God riding to the rescue!

In my opinion, if the way you practise your faith makes it more important than your children, or actually puts them in danger emotional or physical, it is unethical and immoral.[/quote]

It is irresponsible to bring children to a potential warzone. I condemn the actions of the parents on this one.

However, I believe that martyrdom is not always negative -- the people who go to dangerous parts of the world to bring The Good News are heroes.

 

[Sarniaroses]

The full story of Abraham includes a long bit about how God gave the child to Abraham in miraculous circumstances.

Even if I believed that to be true, it doesn't give the deity a right to encourage someone to abuse a child!

 

[Cognitive]

Even if I was a person of faith I wouldn't do so. To me it doesn't matter how powerful your deity is, your child should be first in all cases.

 

[Sarniaroses]

Even if I was a person of faith I wouldn't do so. To me it doesn't matter how powerful your deity is, your child should be first in all cases.

Good post.

 

[wanderingone]

Even if I was a person of faith I wouldn't do so. To me it doesn't matter how powerful your deity is, your child should be first in all cases.

Actually... I think we've become a bit child obsessed... but I think that in general most people who say Christ first, then the marriage, then the children mean it in a way that isn't about failing to meet the child's needs or making them "less important". They mean that in order to care for their child they need to follow Christ and then do what they need to do to maintain a healthy, loving marriage so that the child has a faith filled home with parents who are secure in their relationship; with God; and each other.

To say anyone comes "first" doesn't really mean anything in itself. If I say my child comes first... and then proceed to screw up my finances because of what I think that means, or if I say they come first and proceed to cut off healthy relationships with family and friends because it's "all about junior", then does my child really come first?

In any family there is give and take, and sometimes different family members are "first". My husband was recently very ill when we discovered he had diabetes. For some time our life centered around his needs, he came "first". My daughter is getting her college applications ready, she's working on some senior projects and since she is in a non traditional school there is a lot of work involved in getting her documentation together for a college application. Right now she's "first"

 

[Cognitive]

Actually... I think we've become a bit child obsessed... but I think that in general most people who say Christ first, then the marriage, then the children mean it in a way that isn't about failing to meet the child's needs or making them "less important". They mean that in order to care for their child they need to follow Christ and then do what they need to do to maintain a healthy, loving marriage so that the child has a faith filled home with parents who are secure in their relationship; with God; and each other.

To say anyone comes "first" doesn't really mean anything in itself. If I say my child comes first... and then proceed to screw up my finances because of what I think that means, or if I say they come first and proceed to cut off healthy relationships with family and friends because it's "all about junior", then does my child really come first?

In any family there is give and take, and sometimes different family members are "first". My husband was recently very ill when we discovered he had diabetes. For some time our life centered around his needs, he came "first". My daughter is getting her college applications ready, she's working on some senior projects and since she is in a non traditional school there is a lot of work involved in getting her documentation together for a college application. Right now she's "first"

Perhaps to me this idea of "first" is different, when I think first I think of it in terms of priority. General ideals providing food, shelter and care. If a child severely needs a parental figure for instance but for some reason the parent is off constantly worshiping... well to me that parent is not doing their job.

Now it could come up that the child hates the faith, and wants to find their own faith else where... I've known many cases of 15-16 year olds being kicked our of a house and never allowed to returned for this reason. I feel that is another example of faith before parental duties.

 

[sandwiches]

Actually... I think we've become a bit child obsessed... but I think that in general most people who say Christ first, then the marriage, then the children mean it in a way that isn't about failing to meet the child's needs or making them "less important". They mean that in order to care for their child they need to follow Christ and then do what they need to do to maintain a healthy, loving marriage so that the child has a faith filled home with parents who are secure in their relationship; with God; and each other.

To say anyone comes "first" doesn't really mean anything in itself. If I say my child comes first... and then proceed to screw up my finances because of what I think that means, or if I say they come first and proceed to cut off healthy relationships with family and friends because it's "all about junior", then does my child really come first?

In any family there is give and take, and sometimes different family members are "first". My husband was recently very ill when we discovered he had diabetes. For some time our life centered around his needs, he came "first". My daughter is getting her college applications ready, she's working on some senior projects and since she is in a non traditional school there is a lot of work involved in getting her documentation together for a college application. Right now she's "first"

It depends. Are you saying that abandoning your children to go to a convent or seminar because you're losing faith with your god is the right thing to do?

I don't think so. Your children should always come first, THEN your spouse, THEN whatever faith you may hold. It is disturbing to think anyone would support the idea of a deity that would put itself before your family.

 

[wanderingone]

It depends. Are you saying that abandoning your children to go to a convent or seminar because you're losing faith with your god is the right thing to do?

No, and I don't think most people mean that when they say they put god first in their lives. However I do think that sometimes people do have to take care of themselves so that they can take care of others. Is it only wrong to meet a personal need that takes you away from family for a period if it involves faith?

I don't think so. Your children should always come first, THEN your spouse, THEN whatever faith you may hold. It is disturbing to think anyone would support the idea of a deity that would put itself before your family.

What do you think putting children first means?

 

[sandwiches]

No, and I don't think most people mean that when they say they put god first in their lives. However I do think that sometimes people do have to take care of themselves so that they can take care of others. Is it only wrong to meet a personal need that takes you away from family for a period if it involves faith?

What do you think putting children first means?

If you were asked to sacrifice your children for you faith by your deity, you wouldn't do it.

If you were asked to deny your faith or have your children die, you would deny it.

If you were having problems with your faith, you would still make your children a priority over your faith.

 

[gnomon]

The first thing that comes to my mind are those who rely on faith healing for their children and then their children die as a result of that faith healing.

Not only should faith in that instance not come before the well being of the child but the law should come in as well.

 

[sandwiches]

The first thing that comes to my mind are those who rely on faith healing for their children and then their children die as a result of that faith healing.

Not only should faith in that instance not come before the well being of the child but the law should come in as well.

Agreed. Like that couple that let their daughter die. I think she was diabetic.

 

[Sarniaroses]

The first thing that comes to my mind are those who rely on faith healing for their children and then their children die as a result of that faith healing.

Not only should faith in that instance not come before the well being of the child but the law should come in as well.

There have been one or too cases of that nature just recently.

When our adopted Down's syndrome son was 16 months old, in 1986, he had to have a lifesaving blood transfusion owing to a rare blood disorder, which wasn't known about at the time of his adoption. A few days later a couple of JWs turned up on the doorstep, normally I don't engage them in conversation, but I did that day. Knowing their opposition to blood transfusions I explained that my son had just had one. They told me it would have been better if he had died rather than receive someone else's blood. As you can imagine my reply was not printable!

I don't know what happens in the US, for instance, but in the UK if parents refuse to let their child have a blood tranfusion, or other lifesaving procedure, the medics will usually get a court order so they can go ahead with treatment.

 

[levi501]

If you love your faith more then your children do the world a favor and don't have children.

 

[keith99]

I have a young relative and her husband who are so holy they make even Christian members of my family want to puke. "So heavenly minded, but no earthly use", was a phrase that could have been created just for them! When their first child was born a year ago, they gave him a short mention in passing in the birth anouncement, and then went on to say how much more important Jesus was than their baby, how sick is that?

I wonder. Are they really putting their God before their children? Or are they putting parading their piety before both tehir God and their children?

 

[katautumn]

I wonder. Are they really putting their God before their children? Or are they putting parading their piety before both tehir God and their children?

I would hazard a guess that would be the case. I've known people who lugged their incredibly ill children to church just to "be there every time the doors are open". Kids that were practically comatose with fever. It had nothing to do with putting God first and everything to do with, "look at us! We're so righteous we come to church even when the kids are sick!"

Here is the thing about priorities in life. When we talk about the natural order of things; God>Spouse>Children it isn't about abandoning your family to attend church, neglecting your kids because your spouse wants to talk with you or ignoring your spouse to tend to the kids. If my son falls and slams his head into something and is in tears I'm not going to say to him, "sorry, Sweetie, but I need to go fix Dad a sandwich". My husband knows that a child's needs are immediate. With that said, I still make time for my husband and we don't undermine one another in front of the child. I put Jim first when I don't nitpick and create petty arguments in front of my son. I put Jim first when I clear it with him before spending a bunch of money on a toy.

 

[keith99]

I would hazard a guess that would be the case. I've known people who lugged their incredibly ill children to church just to "be there every time the doors are open". Kids that were practically comatose with fever. It had nothing to do with putting God first and everything to do with, "look at us! We're so righteous we come to church even when the kids are sick!"

Here is the thing about priorities in life. When we talk about the natural order of things; God>Spouse>Children it isn't about abandoning your family to attend church, neglecting your kids because your spouse wants to talk with you or ignoring your spouse to tend to the kids. If my son falls and slams his head into something and is in tears I'm not going to say to him, "sorry, Sweetie, but I need to go fix Dad a sandwich". My husband knows that a child's needs are immediate. With that said, I still make time for my husband and we don't undermine one another in front of the child. I put Jim first when I don't nitpick and create petty arguments in front of my son. I put Jim first when I clear it with him before spending a bunch of money on a toy.

I think you are one of those who really get things. I hate it when I hear advisers saying to put your spouses needs ahead of your childrens needs. Though I often agree with the specific issues they are refering to. They simply don't get it. They are almost always talking about putting a childs wants first. Wants and needs are different things. (Come to think of it for children some of their needs are not things they would ever say they want).