is it Biblical to want a dominant wife?

JesusLives890 said:

Hi guys. I'm a 29 year old single guy. I've always been on the submissive side. I would prefer to marry a woman that's more dominant when it comes to personality. I'm a shy person that doesn't like confrontations. And I don't always feel comfortable making decisions sometimes. I've never dated a woman that's dominant, but want to. Also I would prefer her to be older than me-maybe about 10-15 years because I would probably have difficulty with someone my age or younger than me being the "leader".

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trophy33 said:

No, it is not biblical, in the meaning that no text in the Bible recommends this.

There is also no biblical ban, like "you can not marry a dominant woman", though. However, some biblical texts would be difficult to apply in daily life, like "wives, submit to your husbands".

I think it may be easier to simply stay single if you are worried about this. Or to accept the fact that your marriage will not be exactly modeled according to Bible, because of your special psychological needs.

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timewerx said:

Even from a secular perspective, letting other people decide for you is a terrible plan.

Ofc, as children, we should take heed of our parent's wisdom but there comes a point we should decide what's best for us. Personally, I let other people decide for me well into my adulthood and the outcome is catastrophic for me in terms of career and finance which turn left me traumatized and psychologically in pieces as well.

"If you want it done right, do it yourself" Because no one knows what's best for you but God and the distant second would be yourself (as grown up adult).

The best or possibly the only course of action for the OP is learn to make decisions on his own and have the courage to live with the circumstances whether it's good or bad.

Except ofc, deciding to let other people make decisions for you. It's a terrible decision/choice to make and I don't think it counts.

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trophy33 said:

Some people are different. They may have some psychological problem from childhood or something and are unable to make decisions. They prefer to be lead by others. It is difficult to make a general recommendation for everybody, so I do not judge.

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timewerx said:

For sure there are exceptions like mental disability that makes a person incapable of making the right choices or decisions. I know this too well.

One simple test if a person is capable of making the right choices and decisions is they are also capable of living independently even if they are living by themselves.

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trophy33 said:

Being able to live by themselves seems enough for a simple single life, possibly with a pet. But having a family, namely in the stressful modern times, complicates life quite a lot and not everybody feels the desire or has the ability to be in charge of that. Many women may be better in that than many men.

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timewerx said:

People adapt. Many people get married, take their chances hoping things will turn out alright and they turn out alright.

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trophy33 said:

Well, the stats on marriage and on happiness in marriage do not look so optimistic. About 50% of marriages end in divorce and many of the marriages kept intact are full of domestic violence, alcoholism, adultery, arguments, constant stress, financial worries or just being cold.

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timewerx said:

I keep forgetting that Asian married life is different from other cultures!

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