Is it better to stay single or not ?

[Kevin33]

The bible says it is not good for man to be alone because if he falls no one is there to pick him up. Then Paul says we are more blessed if we can stay single but if your burn with lust get married so what are we suppose to do? Does bibles says not good to be alone does that mean you should have friends and family around or does it mean a wife?

 

[MrNoodle]

I had a girl friend who would not marry me after going out for 3 years. I am not "better" for having her out of my life. So I say you have to figure out what your truth is, and move forward on your journey.

 

[Sketcher]

In Genesis 2:18-24, God was clearly talking about a human spouse.

We are free to marry, or not. Jesus didn't marry. Paul either didn't marry or didn't stay married. He saw a lot of upside to being single.

 

[JustRachel]

1 Corinthians 7 has your answer.

 

[Shempster]

6 But this I say by way of concession, not of commandment.

He was merely stating his opinion in 1 Tim 4. He is clearly saying that what he just said was NOT a commandment of God.

 

[1stcenturylady]

The bible says it is not good for man to be alone because if he falls no one is there to pick him up. Then Paul says we are more blessed if we can stay single but if your burn with lust get married so what are we suppose to do? Does bibles says not good to be alone does that mean you should have friends and family around or does it mean a wife?

It means a spouse. You aren't going to burn with lust for a family member. (I hope)

You have to take into consideration that the church was very new and Paul wanted most of our efforts going to evangelism, which if you were married, your attention would be split.

 

[Brian Mcnamee]

Paul was a bond servant of the LORD and he was shipwrecked and imprisoned and beast and stone this life would be difficult to carry a spouse along with. God said it is not good that man should be alone... Peter had a mother in law so he had a wife. The model in the OT of priest was of married men. It is an exception to the rule to remain single... it is ok if you are that exception.

 

[Percivale]

Singleness and marriage each have their pros and cons, in my opinion neither will necessarily make your life better or happier than the other. You may be lonelier single, or you may have more opportunity to spend time with friends than if you were married. You may enjoy forming a home together, or be annoyed by your spouse’s different ideas of organization and habits. It all depends.

 

[ace of hearts]

The bible says it is not good for man to be alone because if he falls no one is there to pick him up. Then Paul says we are more blessed if we can stay single but if your burn with lust get married so what are we suppose to do? Does bibles says not good to be alone does that mean you should have friends and family around or does it mean a wife?

What is burning with lust? What is the difference with normal body function?

 

[Gordon Wright]

Be careful with Bible verses divorced from context. The anti-singles use verses and claim they mean something that they may not necessarily mean. If the context makes no specific mention of marriage then you should smell a rat.

Know this: if you choose singlehood, God may honor you but the church probably won't. Choose this day whom you will try to please.

 

[Dave-W]

Know this: if you choose singlehood, God may honor you but the church probably won't. Choose this day whom you will try to please.

In Matthew 19:11 our Lord answered the apostles that it was "Only to those to whom it was given" to remain single.

In 1 Cor 7 Paul uses the word "charisma" to describe the gift of singleness, the SAME word he used 5 chapters later to describe prophecy, healings, and miracles. IOW, a RARE supernatural manifestation of the Holy Spirit.

The ability to stay single is a rare gift from God and those who choose to remain single that do NOT have that gift will have serious difficulties.

 

[Gordon Wright]

The ability to stay single is a rare gift from God and those who choose to remain single that do NOT have that gift will have serious difficulties.

For the sake of argument, let's grant that for a moment and then consider the full implications. Any church that fails to esteem singlehood is disrespecting a Gift of the Holy Spirit, in this case. If singlehood is a special gift, then you should submit humbly to those few who have a connection to God that you do not possess, exactly as you would to a prophet or healer. The rarer the gift, the more it should be esteemed.

Regardless, it's demonstrably a mistake for church culture to pressure people to get married. Let's talk about the skeleton in the closet for a moment. Those who get married for the sake of being married often have serious difficulties because of it. If there is enforced closeness without love, hate will arise. This is true both in and outside of Christendom. Churches try to cover this up, but it all comes into the light eventually, and it's ugly. Say what you will about fornication, but adultery is far worse, and domestic violence is worse still. "It is good for a man not to marry" says Paul. and this is one of the reasons why.

The point of I Corinthians 7 is that marriage can be a lesser evil. Not a positive good. A lesser evil. Not even a safe refuge from temptation, merely a way of trying to manage the problem, particularly for the weak. Don't make an idol out of the institution.

As far as what "charisma" means in a particular context, you can have it either way you want, but you can't have it both ways. If singleness is a gift, then marriage is a relative deprivation, an inferior state. But consider the facts above and ask yourself if perhaps you're reading too much into a single choice of wording. Words have multiple meanings. This is true in all languages. But context usually clarifies. Never ignore context.

Here's a litmus test: if Jesus walked into your church and said "I wish to be appointed an elder," what would you say to him? (This, too, arises from the subtleties of interpreting the tricky syntax of a single verse of the Bible without any regard for context.)

Here's a book by someone who has looked into the matter of this alleged gift of singleness:

Singles at the Crossroads - InterVarsity Press

 

[Felipe Barbosa]

People tend to associate being single with lack of responsibility and selfishness.

*There are people who do not support the happiness of others LOL

 

[ace of hearts]

In Matthew 19:11 our Lord answered the apostles that it was "Only to those to whom it was given" to remain single.

In 1 Cor 7 Paul uses the word "charisma" to describe the gift of singleness, the SAME word he used 5 chapters later to describe prophecy, healings, and miracles. IOW, a RARE supernatural manifestation of the Holy Spirit.

The ability to stay single is a rare gift from God and those who choose to remain single that do NOT have that gift will have serious difficulties.

Exactly what serious difficulties? I'm still single at 67 and have my virtue. My only problem is fitting in socially. I think some, well lots if not most people would be much closer if I was married. At church I could be involved if I baby sat children. I was told directly a pastor could use me if I were married. IOW because I am different (not married) I can't participate beyond attendance and baby sitting.

 

[Ttalkkugjil]

While the celibate state's honorable, if people can't control themselves, they shoul marry. For it's better to marry than to burn with desire, since the craving is a temptation.

People should do that which is no sin in order to avoid that which is. For the constant craving is sinful outside of marriage, and the rule here can't be suspended by celibacy vows.

It may happen that a single man or woman may not find it possible to get married.

In such cases every Christian may trust in God to receive from God the power to keep their body in subjection and to overcome the flesh's lust.

 

[Gregory95]

If you marry you do no wrong , yet it seems more profitable to stay single HOWEVER if you are lustful and single EVERY SINGLE woman you lust after is the equivalent of fornicating with her WHICH the Bible makes clear the sexuality immoral will NOT inherit the Kingdom THUS its better to marry then burn in he'll fire YET it is best if you can stay single without becoming lustful

As the elect (the true church of Christ ) each of us have our own gift and responsibly

 

[ace of hearts]

So I gather that burning with lust is always having a strong desire to be intimate.

The problem I seem to have is few if any want a relationship not built on that.

 

[Felipe Barbosa]

While the celibate state's honorable, if people can't control themselves, they shoul marry. For it's better to marry than to burn with desire, since the craving is a temptation.

People should do that which is no sin in order to avoid that which is. For the constant craving is sinful outside of marriage, and the rule here can't be suspended by celibacy vows.

It may happen that a single man or woman may not find it possible to get married.

In such cases every Christian may trust in God to receive from God the power to keep their body in subjection and to overcome the flesh's lust.

What about people who have any illness or disability? Are they in constant sin because they can not marry?

But back to the subject, the problem is the common thought that a single adult is someone who has Peter Pan syndrome, who does not want responsibilities, not being useful to serve within the local church.

I've heard it several times, you will not be able to advise other couples and things like that if i still single. For example, I think that a couple who had sex before marriage can not advise others not to (It sounds very hypocrite).

I see many people getting married just to please their parents, society and church, or to have sex, and that happens a lot.

 

[Felipe Barbosa]

So I gather that burning with lust is always having a strong desire to be intimate.

The problem I seem to have is few if any want a relationship not built on that.

The point is that these desires do away with time and the older age, nowadays people get married later because of the high cost of living. The question is, without sex will still be worth it to you?

Women also have a reputation for being cool in sex over the time, to the point they tell you that you are sinning with her for wanting to have sex with her (your own wife), sex is getting less frequent and a rare event until both of you become best friends living in the same house in the best of hiopteses. -> That's what I hear from the mouth of most married people in the church.

 

[Ttalkkugjil]

What about people who have any illness or disability? Are they in constant sin because they can not marry?

Whoever said people with a disability can't get married? I have a disability and I'm married. Two friends of mine each have a disability, and they are married to each other.