Is It Better In The Dark?

[igotbegot]

my response was that Christian shouldn't be overly crical of sexual activity in others cause God will be the judge of all.

Yes but this thread is about the reasons behind certain behavior, not the Godly consequence or biblical opinion on the morality of that behavior. Of course, you can post whatever you want, but if it has nothing to do with the conversation then why post it here?

 

[bigfen31]

I don't get what your saying.

Are you not a Christian?

 

[igotbegot]

I don't get what your saying.

Are you not a Christian?

That's irrelavent. I'm trying to discuss WHY Christians keep their fun in the dark, not the morality or consequences of doing so.

At no point did anyone ask if the activity was moral, what the bible says about sexual immorality, or what the spiritual consequences of this are. You can get that information a thousand other places in these forums, but no one is talking about WHY people do what they do.

 

[RavenPoe]

Psychologically in general, does not making a thing taboo often add to the excitement of it?

If society will not have a taboo against it, make your own!

 

[Futuwwa]

I've often wondered why Christians are so overly critical of sexual activity in others when they themselves are often found to enjoy the same activities. Then it occurred to me why this might be.

It's a fetish. They enjoy, they get-off on having secret deviance the same, but opposite way, that exhibitionist enjoy showing themselves off. And they push the rest of the community to keep sex in the dark not because they disagree with it, but because they enjoy it more that way.

Thoughts?

I think that for most, the reason is a lot more simpler: Deus vult!

It never stops to amaze me how people seek to rationalize away the reason why people hold strong opinions differing from their own, rather than admit that people can actually disagree with them out of honest ideological conviction.

 

[igotbegot]

I think that for most, the reason is a lot more simpler: Deus vult!

It never stops to amaze me how people seek to rationalize away the reason why people hold strong opinions differing from their own, rather than admit that people can actually disagree with them out of honest ideological conviction.

I don't think you understand what we're talking about here.

 

[cantata]

I don't think you understand what we're talking about here.

Actually I think he does. Maybe some Christians condemn others' sexual behaviour because they genuinely think it's wrong. Maybe they take part in such practices because they genuinely believe it's okay within marriage.

 

[Futuwwa]

Oh, I think I do. You rationalize away the opinions of conservative Christians as fetishism. Is it inconceivable to you that someone who is absolutely secure in his own sexuality could hold "conservative" views on it?

 

[igotbegot]

I don't think either of you understand what I'm trying to discuss.

I'm not debating Christian morality. I'm offering a possible explanation as to the observed behavior of Christians who act sexually conservative in public but defy their own stated sexual morals in their private lives.

Maybe some Christians condemn others' sexual behaviour because they genuinely think it's wrong. Maybe they take part in such practices because they genuinely believe it's okay within marriage.

I'm not talking about those people, unless those people say ActivityX is immoral at all times and then practice ActivityX in private.

Oh, I think I do.

Of course you think you do.

You rationalize away the opinions of conservative Christians as fetishism.

No, I'm spit balling an explanation as to why some Christians vehemently oppose a behavior in public, and then practice that same behavior in private.

Is it inconceivable to you that someone who is absolutely secure in his own sexuality could hold "conservative" views on it?

No, it is conceivable to me. But what I've observed is that a significant percentage of those "conservative" Christians practice and enjoy behavior that they consider, at least publicly, to be unacceptable.

And of course this all applies to Muslims as well.

 

[Futuwwa]

Ok, fair enough. I see what you mean.

Though, if I'm allowed to hypothesize, it might have something to do with the whole "saved by grace, not by works" thing. When your religious doctrine teaches that nobody can avoid sinning, I guess it is easy to rationalize away your own behaviour as something you cannot help, and something that won't matter because you can always repent later.

These are just random thoghts, not an attempt to actually argue for a theory.

 

[cantata]

I'm not talking about those people, unless those people say ActivityX is immoral at all times and then practice ActivityX in private.

Fair point, you're right

 

[Robbie_James_Francis]

If you can convince yourself to feel guilty about something when it's not actually serious or hurting anyone, it may well be much more exciting.

Oh, to be a Catholic again...drink, drugs and sex are much more fun when you feel bad about them.

 

[elsbeth]

I've often wondered why Christians are so overly critical of sexual activity in others when they themselves are often found to enjoy the same activities. Then it occurred to me why this might be.

It's a fetish. They enjoy, they get-off on having secret deviance the same, but opposite way, that exhibitionist enjoy showing themselves off. And they push the rest of the community to keep sex in the dark not because they disagree with it, but because they enjoy it more that way.

Thoughts?

As a Christian, I would say that Christians criticize sexual activity when it is outside of marriage. Its the context that can make it right or wrong.

 

[stan1980]

Oh, to be a Catholic again...drink, drugs and sex are much more fun when you feel bad about them.

Similarly, going to bars and nightclubs drinking and doing drugs, before i was 18 seemed so much cooler than after i was 18, just because i wasn't supposed to be there.

 

[igotbegot]

As a Christian, I would say that Christians criticize sexual activity when it is outside of marriage. Its the context that can make it right or wrong.

You're repeating something someone else already said, and you've missed the point.

 

[elsbeth]

You're repeating something someone else already said, and you've missed the point.

I didn't MISS the point, I'm disagreeing with the point. I don't think most Christians fit the OP at all.

 

[suzybeezy]

I didn't MISS the point, I'm disagreeing with the point. I don't think most Christians fit the OP at all.

I agree

 

[igotbegot]

I didn't MISS the point, I'm disagreeing with the point.

Ya, ya you did. I'm not talking about people that believe sexuality should be reserved for marriage, which I've already pointed out, and which you seemed to miss.

I'm talking about people like Ted Haggard. During the day he's a righteous preacher, condemning homosexuality from the pulpit. In secret, he's doing drugs and having an ongoing sexual relationship with a male prostitute. But once he gets caught, he doesn't want to do it any more and goes into anti-homo therapy. Maybe that's because half the fun of it was the danger of getting caught.

I don't think most Christians fit the OP at all.

I don't know what the percentage is, but this idea would help to explain hypocritical sexual behavior among Christians.

Everyone knows that hypocritical sexual behavior exists in every part of the Christian community because enough people get caught to shed light on it. What no one knows for sure is how much of that community is involved.

The thing is, no one is going to tell you that they are secretly pursuing sexual "deviance". So how do you, or how does anyone, know what that percentage might be? Furthermore, how do you know what it is not?

A certain amount of people get caught, so we know the percentage is higher than zero, but that's about all we know. However if this fetishism is popular the number could be a lot higher.

 

[morningstar2651]

I've been propositioned by fundies that wanted to do "sinful" things with me in secret.

Sexual repression doesn't turn me on. I wish they would get over their guilty conscience and learn to love who they are.