Is it a sin?

[Interest7]

I don't think here is a way for me to ask this question without being too crude, but I'll do my best. As a teenage boy, we face urges. Many of us feel we have to satisfy those urges. I have been a while without an incident, but it's beginning to really stress me out. I have read a lot about it and concluded that it is not a sin so long as lust or any other sin of the mind is committed in the process. However, I have 2 questions.

1: Is it lust if the person you are "lusting after" is fictional.
2: Would it be a sin if I were to "fantasize" about my future wife. I don't know who she is, so in my imagination she doesn't really have a face, but she has an ideal personality. So if it were just cuddling with her, is that okay? If I were to think about our wedding night/Honey Moon, is that acceptable?

I wish I could stop all-together, but I'm certain I'm not alone in the idea that it is difficult. I am NOT looking for excuses, I am trying to see if I should feel guilty or not, which I always do.

 

[Person of]

Nah, it wouldn't be a sin. I had a long debate here with someone that thinks it is, I ended up owning her and she hasn't been back here ever since.

 

[Girder of Loins]

I'm in the same boat you are. No idea. I know masturbation(its okay to use those terms here, ) isn't a sin, but I don't know where your thoughts are allowed to go.

 

[Interest7]

I'm in the same boat you are. No idea. I know masturbation(its okay to use those terms here, ) isn't a sin, but I don't know where your thoughts are allowed to go.

I know it's okay XD I just try to avoid terms like that because it seems...blunt. I know you definitely aren't allowed to think about existing people, and you would be allowed to think about your wife, but that's the extent of what I know.

 

[Person of]

There's nothing wrong with masturbation or the thoughts that accompany them, as long as you don't lust after real life people.

God doesn't care man, he gave us those feelings, only natural man.

 

[Rubiks]

sexual thoughts are not the same as lust. The thoughts are just part of human nature and is really impossible to stop thinking about them.

 

[ChristianT]

I know it's okay XD I just try to avoid terms like that because it seems...blunt. I know you definitely aren't allowed to think about existing people, and you would be allowed to think about your wife, but that's the extent of what I know.

Hahah I like bluntness

1)
a) It's best not to try to force upon yourself more laws to live by, for if in Christ you can attain freedom from sin and falling into more sin, why make it harder for yourself to remain in Christ and away from sins?

b) "Lust," if defined as (sexual) desire, is not wrong per se. It becomes wrong (sinful) when you act upon that in the positive (sexual activity). Thus, having desires is not sinful in and of itself. What you do based on that desire may.

2) Again, 1b however, I don't think it would be wrong to imagine what your wedding day will be like, what her personality will be like, etc. Haha I'm completely not lying here. I prayed about a year ago "God, I pray for my future wife, if it's your will for me to have one, one day. I pray that she be blessed and love you so much! I pray that I would meet her standards and be your will for her if she exists." And then less than half a year ago (ahem, this past summer) I prayed "God I pray that I may see my future wife soon, IIBYW. Even if I only see her for a time, I pray that I may meet her really soon." Either God is good and was merciful to me (or) coincidences occur all the time and only after you pray for them. I believe the former. I met S. about two months ago.

I'm not saying that things will turn out for anyone else the way it has for me, I'm just saying this is what happened in my life. The power of prayer, and much, MUCH more importantly, the power of God is strong. If you just trust in Him and seek out His will, His good, pleasing, and perfect will shall be lavished upon you.

Reference Scripture

We're sinful by nature, therefore sin isn't wrong.

See what I did there?

Logic, For The Win!

 

[GrizzlyMonKeH]

he gave us those feelings, only natural man.

We're sinful by nature, therefore sin isn't wrong.


See what I did there?

 

[Person of]

We're sinful by nature, therefore sin isn't wrong.


See what I did there?

But you have to prove what the OP is doing is sin first.

Okay, Person Of continues just to give excuses. I got a bad feeling about him from the start. Everyone else is either arguing with other people or simply not answering my questions. HCrossth, that was quite the speech. I did not agree with all of it, but it was still nice to read. However, my questions were not answered. ChristianT had the most well-thought-out answer, but I did not understand the point you were trying to make.

Again, I do not want excuses. I only want my questions answered. Are either of them sins?

I already answered your question. Find a verse in the Bible that says what you're doing is sin. If you can't, then it isn't.

And "God spoke to my heart" doesn't count.

 

[GrizzlyMonKeH]

When you lust after someone that is fictional, you're lusting after something you do not have. I think that qualifies as sinful. Not that I claim to be a saint by any stretch of the imagination. I will pray that God grants you the strength to stop it altogether. He most certainly helped me.

Matthew 5:28 But I say to you, That whoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.

1 Corinthians 6:18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man does is without the body; but he that commits fornication sins against his own body.

2 Timothy 2:22 Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

 

[Barricade24]

I will say for me personally that masturbation is a sin. Jesus partially covered this matter on the topic of lust. As he said, "anyone who sees a women and wishes to sin sexually with her has already commited adultery." It is essentialy having sex with a woman in your mind. As for masturbating to unreal people, well I wouldn't advise it. Even though the people may not be real the intention in your heart is the same. I've been deeply involved in this topic so I know a lot about it due to personal experience. I know the urges are very hard to control and can probably never be completly controlled but they can be contained. I am a clear example of that. I once masturbated to almost anything stimulating I can find. But through this entire year, I have not done it once. The key to success here is God. You will need his help to stop this if you so choose to.

I am not trying to guilt you or anything like that but to me personally, masturbation is a sin.

 

[Interest7]

The Pharisees actually were very different than traditional Jews or even Jews of today, I have no idea what you're talking about.

But the Bible says nothing of masturbation, at all. Why would God not mention something as tempting and common as that?

Everyone can have an opinion but "God spoke to my heart" does not hold much merit since that phrase has lead to many denominations and different beliefs.

Respectfully, I ask you to leave this thread. You are causing unwanted arguments and I do not see anyone else who agrees with your philosophy. Please go.

 

[Interest7]

Guys aren't the only ones who struggle with this. I thought it was a sin, but now I'm not so sure. I'm confused :/

The act itself is not a sin. The thoughts that are carried with it are, though. But thank you for pointing out that girls also suffer with the burden.

 

[Person of]

Respectfully, I ask you to leave this thread. You are causing unwanted arguments and I do not see anyone else who agrees with your philosophy. Please go.

No.

I'm not even arguing. You made this thread looking for an opinion. I gave it.

It's not in my opinion that it's wrong.

No need to be so sensitive.

 

[Person of]

Guys aren't the only ones who struggle with this. I thought it was a sin, but now I'm not so sure. I'm confused :/

A lot of people are confused on this matter because they confuse conviction with social conditioning. There are countless threads on this forum asking the question.

But no one that opposes it gives any scripture.

All I ask for those that oppose, GIVE SOME SCRIPTURE.

 

[Interest7]

A lot of people are confused on this matter because they confuse conviction with social conditioning. There are countless threads on this forum asking the question.

But no one that opposes it gives any scripture.

All I ask for those that oppose, GIVE SOME SCRIPTURE.

You aren't arguing? "GIVE ME SOME SCRIPTURE" isn't arguing? Yes, you gave your opinion. Now it's over, now you can leave.

 

[Person of]

You aren't arguing? "GIVE ME SOME SCRIPTURE" isn't arguing? Yes, you gave your opinion. Now it's over, now you can leave.

You're not looking for various opinions; maybe, you're looking for an opinion that validates your beliefs. If so, then you should have stated that in your original post, so as to not waste anyone's time.

But don't expect to make a thread, in a public forum, for the world to see, and not get different opinions on the subject.

I'm asking for those that oppose it, to give scripture as to why. That's not arguing, in real life, that's having a conversation and debating, something that happens FREQUENTLY (Read: DEBATES are FREQUENT on this forum).

And I don't have to leave, I'm actually willing to listen to opposing views, as long as they're supported by the Holy Word of God.

 

[Flashnkitties]

Lust of the mind?
I don't think it is possible to touch without lust.

Why would the fact that you're making up a fictional person change anything? Is it not still lust just as if she was real?

I'm not trying to beat you down, just trying to help, I want you to make the right decisions.

It's good that you "do not want excuses" and I see the 'fictional girl' as a sort of excuse that you've made to rationalize this.

Sex with your wife (which is definitely not wrong), and pleasing yourself to the thought of some fantasy girl who one day you'd like to be your wife are different, in my opinion.. and I think the latter is lust(ful).

Good luck!

I'd suggest praying about this! God will see you through!

 

[NateDaGrimes]

i strongly agree with you Hcross. lusting after women to me i not alright. what if you had a girlfriend and she see's you looking at another women. she will be upset. this kinda goes with marriage but lets not head into that which that over their is heading into fornication line. god knows your thoughts every hour.. lets try to keep our heads clean. "give us clean hands, give us pure hearts. let us not lift our souls to another" sorry but that quote felt like a good time. having thoughs of women, very lustful thoughs is not of god again. most of the thoughts to do that is of satan which is sadly true. not saying we are not perfect but we have to strive to perfection in gods eyes and keep clean.

 

[Samira96]

Looking at someone you know is a sin because of Matthew 5:28.

Masturbation could be a sin, depending on how you interpret Genesis 38:9-10, though. However, in context that bit refers to the withdrawal method of contraception and as far as I'm aware the Bible does not actually mention masturbation.