Is It A Sin to touch?

[JustMe23]

i am 23 i am married, but sometimes hes not in the mood. would it be wrong if i masterbated. because i get really grouchy without???? I have been saved 5 yrs but if i mention masterbating he flys off the handle and tells me im going to hell if i do it?? any help on this subject. i dont even think about other guys, infact... i was a lesbian before me and him got together and got married so hes basically the only guy thats ever turned me on.... to this day even so i dont think of anyone else and i love him so much but im sexually unhappy right now, and sometimes he gets relieved and i dont so that brings me back to if masterbating is a sin if you thinking about your spouse durring it????

 

[Dungbeetle]

Well?

Yes. It stops people from forming healthy relationships with others.

It directly contradicts the two commandments of Christ:

1. Love God
2. Love your neighbour.

We were not put here to love ourselves first or to put ourselves first. That is not the Christian way.

Edit: My post above was about long-term solitary masturbation. Sorry, I did not see this post:

i am 23 i am married, but sometimes hes not in the mood. would it be wrong if i masterbated. because i get really grouchy without???? I have been saved 5 yrs but if i mention masterbating he flys off the handle and tells me im going to hell if i do it?? any help on this subject. i dont even think about other guys, infact... i was a lesbian before me and him got together and got married so hes basically the only guy thats ever turned me on.... to this day even so i dont think of anyone else and i love him so much but im sexually unhappy right now, and sometimes he gets relieved and i dont so that brings me back to if masterbating is a sin if you thinking about your spouse durring it????

I think that you need to speak to your husband about this. If he is not satisfying you, he needs to know so that he can do something about it. Whatever you do when you touch, is his job, not yours.

 

[holo]

I think that you need to speak to your husband about this. If he is not satisfying you, he needs to know so that he can do something about it. Whatever you do when you touch, is his job, not yours.

This is the kind of... well, double standard I simply don't understand - it's ok to enjoy your spouse pleasing you, in fact it's suggested that it's his "job", but satisfying yourself is sinful!?!?

 

[threeinone]

Yes. It stops people from forming healthy relationships with others.

It directly contradicts the two commandments of Christ:

1. Love God
2. Love your neighbour.

We were not put here to love ourselves first or to put ourselves first. That is not the Christian way.

.

We have to love ourselves first before we can truly love anybody else. The two commandments are

1. Love God
2. Love your neighbour AS YOU LOVE YOURSELF or AS I HAVE LOVED YOU.

How can you love your neighbour as you love yourself if you don't love yourself. In truth, it is impossible to truly love God if you don't love yourself. He loves us. Do you think He does not want us to love ourselves who He loves.

If we don't love and take care of ourselves first, how can we possibly take care of others properly?

 

[Dungbeetle]

This is the kind of... well, double standard I simply don't understand - it's ok to enjoy your spouse pleasing you, in fact it's suggested that it's his "job", but satisfying yourself is sinful!?!?

Just my personal opinion based on my medical knowledge i.e. that certain love hormones (oxytocin) are released during climax, enabling you to love your partner. What is the function of these love hormones when you are on your own? Do you really want to bond with your right hand? Is that why we were given sexual organs? These are questions which I ask myself. Take it or leave it. I do not expect anyone to agree with me.

 

[Dungbeetle]

If we don't love and take care of ourselves first, how can we possibly take care of others properly?

At my convent school I was taught to put others first.

A story comes to mind. There were two groups of hungry, thirsty people. One group was in hell, the other in heaven. However, their situations were identical. Both groups had soup available to them but in both situations, the soup was situated in a deep, narrow pot. The opening of this pot was situated in a hole in the table. The people were given five foot long spoons to get the soup out of the pots. They were able to get the soup out but were unable to drink it. There were sharp points all along the length of the handles of the spoons, so that they could only be held by their ends.

The group of people in hell were unable to drink the soup.

The group of people in heaven were able to feed the soup to each other.

 

[threeinone]

At my convent school I was taught to put others first.

A story comes to mind. There were two groups of hungry, thirsty people. One group was in hell, the other in heaven. However, their situations were identical. Both groups had soup available to them but in both situations, the soup was situated in a deep, narrow pot. The opening of this pot was situated in a hole in the table. The people were given five foot long spoons to get the soup out of the pots. They were able to get the soup out but were unable to drink it. There were sharp points all along the length of the handles of the spoons, so that they could only be held by their ends.

The group of people in hell were unable to drink the soup.

The group of people in heaven were able to feed the soup to each other.

That is a lovely story totally unrelated to what I was saying. And if we put other people first always before ourselves then we are headed for trouble for I have found out that if I don't take care of me, nobody else will and if I don't get taken care of somehow, I am no good to anybody else. Always puting other people first is a martyr thing, a bit too humble. Too much of anything, even humility, is not a good thing. Oh, to add, puting other people first does not assure that they will put you first.

In the story, they had to find a way. In real life, it unfortunatly does not work so well and people would probably starve and die. In real life, you might feed the other guy who wouldn't feed you, or couldn't.

 

[threeinone]

Oh yeah, sometimes it is best to put others first but not all the time. I didn't mean it to sound like the exact opposite. Moderation is good.

 

[Gukkor]

At my convent school I was taught to put others first.

A story comes to mind. There were two groups of hungry, thirsty people. One group was in hell, the other in heaven. However, their situations were identical. Both groups had soup available to them but in both situations, the soup was situated in a deep, narrow pot. The opening of this pot was situated in a hole in the table. The people were given five foot long spoons to get the soup out of the pots. They were able to get the soup out but were unable to drink it. There were sharp points all along the length of the handles of the spoons, so that they could only be held by their ends.

The group of people in hell were unable to drink the soup.

The group of people in heaven were able to feed the soup to each other.

That's totally a reworking of an old Chinese fable.

 

[PhantomTorment]

i am 23 i am married, but sometimes hes not in the mood. would it be wrong if i masterbated. because i get really grouchy without???? I have been saved 5 yrs but if i mention masterbating he flys off the handle and tells me im going to hell if i do it?? any help on this subject. i dont even think about other guys, infact... i was a lesbian before me and him got together and got married so hes basically the only guy thats ever turned me on.... to this day even so i dont think of anyone else and i love him so much but im sexually unhappy right now, and sometimes he gets relieved and i dont so that brings me back to if masterbating is a sin if you thinking about your spouse durring it????

No it's not a sin if you're thinking about your spouse when you do it. If it was, then sex would be wrong to do with your spouse, which really makes no sense .

 

[holo]

Just my personal opinion based on my medical knowledge i.e. that certain love hormones (oxytocin) are released during climax, enabling you to love your partner. What is the function of these love hormones when you are on your own? Do you really want to bond with your right hand? Is that why we were given sexual organs? These are questions which I ask myself. Take it or leave it. I do not expect anyone to agree with me.

Sounds good

But let me make it clear that I don't feel any sort of bond to my right hand, though i very much feel a bond to my SO.

 

[djbcrawford]

Do you really believe that God would set such a ridiculous law in place? Do you really believe that God would command a man to marry his dead brother's wife and make children with her, children that would not be legally his? I do not believe that God would make a law like that. Sounds like a law that a man would make.

Do I believe in the bible? Yes......within reason and that stuff goes beyond the bounds of reason.

Well I think we need to look at it in the context of that time. The most important job for a woman to do then was to have a child to pass on the family line. (As far as I know, the lineage was passed through the woman, not just the man, so the child didn't even have to belong to the man, the family line still continued). Also it was a type of insurance policy, in that the woman needed to have children to look after her in her old age. The duty of providing a child passed to the husband's brother, if he died before a child could be concieved.

To put it in modern context, imagine a couple who really need to have a child, but can't, because the man isn't able to (and there's no sure thing as IV). They approach the man's brother and ask him to sleep with her so she can conceive and have a child. The brother agrees, does the deed, but instead of letting her conceive, withdraws, spilling his seed.

Well, that's like what Onan did, which is a pretty big betrayal of his dead brother, and an even bigger betrayal of his dead brother's widow. Contrary to what many people think, many biblical laws were there to protect woman and I can imagine God getting pretty annoyed at what Onan did.

Nothing however to do with the topic we are discussing. The only biblical reference I know of which has relevence is Jesus saying lusting after a woman is like commiting adultery with her, which rules it out as a sex act for anyone but a married couple, and even then, only providing they are thinking of eachother (but not necessarily at the same time... :o )

 

[djbcrawford]

I wonder how many of us here touch and proclaim loudly its sinfulness here????

Probably a lot more than would admit to it (I'm saying nothing). On the other hand, how many of us proclaim lying as wrong and still do it. In fact isn't Christianity as a whole admitting we are all sinners while saying sinning is wrong?

 

[holo]

I believe christianity should be more about admitting that we're saints, but that's just me...

 

[Gukkor]

I believe christianity should be more about admitting that we're saints, but that's just me...

I like the way you think.

 

[threeinone]

Probably a lot more than would admit to it (I'm saying nothing). On the other hand, how many of us proclaim lying as wrong and still do it. In fact isn't Christianity as a whole admitting we are all sinners while saying sinning is wrong?

Strange but true

I believe christianity should be more about admitting that we're saints, but that's just me...

I could handle it being about admitting that we are all good people who sometimes do bad things(sin). But not saints... look up the definition of a saint(exceptionally holy, etc.). We are not that. We may try and that's good.

 

[Gukkor]

Strange but true




I could handle it being about admitting that we are all good people who sometimes do bad things(sin). But not saints... look up the definition of a saint(exceptionally holy, etc.). We are not that. We may try and that's good.

And yet if our sins are washed away, what is left behind?

 

[threeinone]

And yet if our sins are washed away, what is left behind?

I guess this is where we differ Gukkor.

Christ died for our sins but to me that doesn't mean that when we continue to sin, we do not need to feel remorse or that we are still a saint. We sin, we are not a saint, forgiven or not. Christ died for my sins but when I sin, I am sorry whether it was forgiven already or not. Sinning is not something that I do and forget it because it is forgiven. Say that I smash Jesus in the face and I know He has already forgiven me. Do I walk away without showing any sense of remorse? I wouldn't.

If Jesus washed away all our sins and we are saints, then we do not have the freedom or right to sin any more and we do. And when we sin, we are not saints.

 

[Gukkor]

I guess this is where we differ Gukkor.

Christ died for our sins but to me that doesn't mean that when we continue to sin, we do not need to feel remorse or that we are still a saint. We sin, we are not a saint, forgiven or not. Christ died for my sins but when I sin, I am sorry whether it was forgiven already or not. Sinning is not something that I do and forget it because it is forgiven. Say that I smash Jesus in the face and I know He has already forgiven me. Do I walk away without showing any sense of remorse? I wouldn't.

If Jesus washed away all our sins and we are saints, then we do not have the freedom or right to sin any more and we do. And when we sin, we are not saints.

You misunderstand me, threeinone. The fact that we are saints does not mean that we don't feel remorse or that we shouldn't (at least in my mind it doesn't). The difference is that because we know we have already been forgiven, we don't have to dwell on that remorse. Instead of simply wallowing hopelessly in our own iniquity, we can learn from our mistakes and move on, having become all the better for it. We know that though we will make mistakes and sin in the future, it will not stop us because we have the ability to learn from it and grow spiritually in God. Were we not saints, the prospect of future sin would simply leave us either careless and unrepentant, or hopeless and miserable, neither of which would allow us to grow closer to God.

I guess you and I just have different perceptions of what it means to be a saint. To me, sainthood doesn't mean we're perfect. It simply means that the gap between us and God is permanently bridged, and our sin is powerless to burn that bridge down. Because our sin no longer condemns us to death, we are free to turn our mistakes into learning and growing experiences, rather than despairing over being condemned by them.

 

[united4Peace]

Thinking...
I look at others every now and then and sorta wonder...
I dont think God is going to strike me down...that's not the type of God I believe in though...
So with the touching yourself thing....if a person masterbates and their mind wanders and they think of someone other than their spouse or SO then IMO I don't see God as throwing them in some sort of hell (then again I dont believe in that kind of a hell...personal hell yes...but that is caused by one's self).

Now...if someone is masterbating, or daydreaming about someone else...or heck even their spouse...well...daydreaming can be too much at times regardless...
I dont think of my husband 24/7 in a sexual way, nor do I fantasize about "blank" 24/7, as life is about so many other things...if I sat at home daydreaming (again it doesnt even have to be sexual) and let life pass me by ...that it self would be so wrong as it would take me away from everything...family, friends, chores, etc...

It's okay to fantasize a little....even about someone that may catch your eye...(dont act upon it).
Sometimes sharing one's fantasies with ones spouse or SO can even improve one's relationship....(make it a little more interesting)