Is It A Sin to touch?

[Romanseight2005]

Nobody. Unless, of course, you believe that it's a sin and, as a result, you live a life full of guilt and anxiety. I know from experience.

Are you married? If you touch in marriage, you are literally stealing from your spouse. If you develop a habit of masturbating when you are single, you will keep doing it when you are married.

 

[bod44]

I think that is is silly to think that is doesn't hurt anyone! I wouldn't even argue about masturbating when you're married because I can't even imagine how anyone could justify it! Basically you're telling your spouse that they're not pleasing you when the real problem is that you don't love your wife. Solomon said to be ravished always with your wife in proverbs 5 I think it is. the only people that struggle with masturbation when married are the people that never got control of their eyes and their heart before they were married. The bottom line is though, until we truly allow ourselves to be crucified with christ, and by faith our affections and fleshly lusts are crucified, and christ is living through us, we are under the dominion of sin. Rom 6:7 For he that is dead is freed from sin.
Rom 6:8 Now if we be dead with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with him:
Rom 6:9 Knowing that Christ being raised from the dead dieth no more; death hath no more dominion over him.
Rom 6:10 For in that he died, he died unto sin once: but in that he liveth, he liveth unto God.
Rom 6:11 Likewise reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Rom 6:12 Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof.
Rom 6:13 Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God.
Rom 6:14 For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace.

 

[Mling]

Solomon said to be ravished always with your wife

I say this in as light and humorous a way as possible (internet does not convey intonation well), but wasn't that really easy for Solomon to say, given that he had 700? Plus the concubines...

Anyway, real comment. Several people have made the point that masturbation isn't sinful, but lust is.

Would the people who've said that consider it sinful to fantasize about somebody who doesn't really exist? Not even a fictional character, but just...imagining a scenerio, and enjoying that. I've always thought that lust is wrong because it dehumanizes a person, and turns them into little more than a fun piece of art. If fantasies are directed toward a scene, and not a real person, would you still consider it lust? Sinful?

 

[KillerV]

I say this in as light and humorous a way as possible (internet does not convey intonation well), but wasn't that really easy for Solomon to say, given that he had 700? Plus the concubines...

Anyway, real comment. Several people have made the point that masturbation isn't sinful, but lust is.

Would the people who've said that consider it sinful to fantasize about somebody who doesn't really exist? Not even a fictional character, but just...imagining a scenerio, and enjoying that. I've always thought that lust is wrong because it dehumanizes a person, and turns them into little more than a fun piece of art. If fantasies are directed toward a scene, and not a real person, would you still consider it lust? Sinful?

what do you mean a scene?

 

[Mling]

Like, imagine somebody found the idea of a particular act, or position, or setting or something particularly arousing, and they imagine that, without imagining any particular person.

In my mind, because they are not degrading another person, they are not lusting, they're merely aroused. I've generally assumed that the personal degredation is what makes lust wrong, and, lacking that, sexual thoughts are not inherently sinful. My question is, what do people think about that idea. Like I said, I've generally assumed it, but I've never really discussed it.

 

[Quantos]

you're not supposed to lust after your wife!! In the greek lust means to literally seek after a forbidden thing! You're supposed to love your wife not lust after your wife.

While that may be true for the Greek word, most people here are not Greek

Lust to most people is not desire of a forbidden thing (I.E. My wife is not forbidden) But I do have a STRONG desire & longing for her that can drive me Wild

And I consider that Lusting after her.

Many words use the same name, but no longer have the same meaning.

 

[holo]

So...why is this thread still active? I mean...anyone who knows a spec of the Bible knows it's wrong.

If your attitude is this condescending normally, debate is meaningless.

Are you married? If you touch in marriage, you are literally stealing from your spouse.

Stealing what? Sperm?

If you develop a habit of masturbating when you are single, you will keep doing it when you are married.

Whoa, says who?

I think that is is silly to think that is doesn't hurt anyone! I wouldn't even argue about masturbating when you're married because I can't even imagine how anyone could justify it! Basically you're telling your spouse that they're not pleasing you when the real problem is that you don't love your wife.

If I'm married and my wife won't have sex with me for some reason, am I "not loving her" by masturbating instead? What do you mean?

the only people that struggle with masturbation when married are the people that never got control of their eyes and their heart before they were married.

Who is "struggling" with masturbation? Couples may struggle with not having enouch sex, their drives not matching up, time, different preferences etc, but I've never heard of anyone "struggling" with masturbation. As if people would rather touch than have sex. If that is so, the problem doesn't lie in masturbation, but in their sex life.

 

[Gukkor]

In and of itself, no.

 

[Romanseight2005]

Stealing what? Sperm? Everything about your sexuality belongs to your wife. Every part of it is for her, and her's for you. In a more practical sense, if you touch, you won't be able to perform with your wife because you've just given it to yourself.

Whoa, says who?

If I'm married and my wife won't have sex with me for some reason, am I "not loving her" by masturbating instead? What do you mean? First of all, if you develop a habit of masturbating now, you will continue to do it in your marriage. It is not something that you will do now, and not later. You are developing life habits, and they start now. You won't touch because your wife doesn't want to be with you. You will do it, because you will have developed a habit of self gratification which is nothing like making love to your spouse. You will steal intimacy from yourself and your wife as well. Your focus will be yourself and that is not love.

Who is "struggling" with masturbation? Couples may struggle with not having enouch sex, their drives not matching up, time, different preferences etc, but I've never heard of anyone "struggling" with masturbation. As if people would rather touch than have sex. If that is so, the problem doesn't lie in masturbation, but in their sex life.

People who struggle with masturbation are people who thought like you did when they were 16 or 17. They get into their mid twenties( still masturbating because that is the way they have learned to be sexual) they meet a woman and fall in love. They get married thinking they won't have to touch anymore, only to discover that they can't stop, and it destroys their marriage. Did you know that masturbation causes chemical reactions to occur in your brain that should not be happening except with your wife? The problem with this is that during lovemaking, you also get other chemicals, oxytocin and pheromones, that you don't get wih masturbation. Over time this influx of only half of the chemicals, literally changes the chemical reactions in your brain. I am not telling you this to rain on your parade. I am trying to spare you from a horribly destructive habit that can completely destroy your future marriage, and possibly your life.

 

[holo]

People who struggle with masturbation are people who thought like you did when they were 16 or 17. They get into their mid twenties( still masturbating because that is the way they have learned to be sexual) they meet a woman and fall in love. They get married thinking they won't have to touch anymore, only to discover that they can't stop, and it destroys their marriage.

I'll have to see some sort of documentation for this outrageous claim. You're talking about masturbation like it was some sort of drug (and that people would prefer masturbation to real sex - I mean, how sordid must your sex life be for that to happen?)

Did you know that masturbation causes chemical reactions to occur in your brain that should not be happening except with your wife?

What? "Except with your wife"? What does that mean? Says who?

The problem with this is that during lovemaking, you also get other chemicals, oxytocin and pheromones, that you don't get wih masturbation. Over time this influx of only half of the chemicals, literally changes the chemical reactions in your brain.

Please cite some credible source for this, and explain exactly how masturbation (or rather, lack of sex) harms people.

I am not telling you this to rain on your parade. I am trying to spare you from a horribly destructive habit that can completely destroy your future marriage, and possibly your life.

Hehe, you don't have to worry about raining on my parade. I'll go check out a few of your other posts to make sure you're not joking (no offense).

How would masturbation destroy my future marriage?

More interesting, how would masturbation cost me my life?

 

[112657]

I'm with holo. Evidence please.

If marriages were destroyed by masturbation no one would be married.

 

[Mling]

I'm also going to have to assume that if I can stop because I need to study for a test in a class I wish I didn't have to take (a decidedly unpleasant experience) than it is not such a horrible addiction that I won't be able to stop in order to make love with my spouse (what I assume would be a downright enjoyable experience).

 

[Romanseight2005]

Go to the the men's corner and look for the threads relating to masturbation. I am not telling you some fantasy. I am telling you what the fruit of masturbation IS. By the way, have you looked at the divorce rate lately?

 

[holo]

I am telling you what the fruit of masturbation IS. By the way, have you looked at the divorce rate lately?

You're not providing any sort of evidence that masturbation is harmful to men or women. No, I haven't looked at divorce rates lately. Should I? Do they have anything to do with masturbation?

 

[Mling]

Go to the the men's corner and look for the threads relating to masturbation. I am not telling you some fantasy. I am telling you what the fruit of masturbation IS. By the way, have you looked at the divorce rate lately?

Anything can interfere with a marriage if a person gets addicted to it, and a person can get addicted to anything. How many marriages break up because a person is addicted to work? Computer games? Gambling? If a marriage is in trouble anyway, a person can use anything to escape from it. If the person is masturbating to avoid sleeping with his or her spouse, then of course it is a problem. If, instead. they are going out to the garage to build birdhouses, not only is it still a problem, it's the same problem. My dad disappeared to the basement and played computer games (he just moved out today, and the divorce is being finalized).

Work, pixles, dice and birdhouses are not inherently vicious. Turning to something to escape from your marriage, is. Getting addicted to something, to the point that you value it over your marriage is, also(my dad also refused to address his drinking, despite the fact that it was interfering with his marriage). Or, in the latter case, pathological, if not truly vicious.

Yes, masturbation has a drug-like affect on a person's brain. So does caffeine. So does running. Marathon running is at least as addictive as touching yourself, and at least as drug-like. Drug-like is not inherently evil, or even unhealthy. It is a pleasure response, and it can be evoked by anything. We can not denounce everything that might interfere with a person's relationship, if taken to an extreme. No human experience would be safe. And this human experience is not much different than any other. The message has to be, "be responsible" not "don't do it at all."

 

[Mling]

PS: why just the "men's" corner?

That's such a pet peeve of mine, the idea that women ("good" women anyway) don't enjoy sex. It has done so much damage to so many girls for far too long.

 

[Joshua Howard]

Masturbation is not a sin. We could debate whether it is natural or not though, or if it is optimal healthwise.

Lust is where the masturbater goes wrong. Playing out sexual fantasies in one's mind is not exactly what I'd call "clean" or "pure." We should all guard the gate of our mind with supreme care and a majestic reverence.

 

[Gukkor]

Masturbation is not a sin. We could debate whether it is natural or not though, or if it is optimal healthwise.

Lust is where the masturbater goes wrong. Playing out sexual fantasies in one's mind is not exactly what I'd call "clean" or "pure." We should all guard the gate of our mind with supreme care and a majestic reverence.

Agreed.

 

[AJ]

Anything can interfere with a marriage if a person gets addicted to it, and a person can get addicted to anything.

Absolutely correct....

 

[Gukkor]

PS: why just the "men's" corner?

That's such a pet peeve of mine, the idea that women ("good" women anyway) don't enjoy sex. It has done so much damage to so many girls for far too long.

Given the archaic knowledge of sexuality in certain circles, it wouldn't surprise me if he was unaware entirely that women touch, to say nothing of *gasp* actually enjoying sex!