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Is It A Sin To Curse?
- Thread starter forgivenmuch
- Start date
I agree with what you said here. If someone is attempting to look moral around "authority figures" and then is very loose (immoral) around their peers, that speaks a lot about their character (this is how I used to be.)
However I am not behaving "coarsely around people who I think will bear with me or tolerate my bad behavior." It seems that people are not listening to what I am saying. My friends do not care if I swear, in fact they do the same. It is not "coarse" and they do not have to "tolerate my bad behavior" because it is not bad behavior. My friends have no problem with using these types words because we all understand that they are just that, words. They are not evil. My friends do not look down on me because of my speech.
Now as I've stated several times, I do not curse all the time and in front of people I don't know. I will usually ask my friends if it bothers them, if so, then I don't (I am respecting them) if they don't mind, then it is ok. If I don't know what the person's view about swearing is then guess what, I don't swear around them.
Before anyone else posts questions such as these, please read this post carefully.
Thank You.
EDIT: I guess I should post that I do not think that taking the Lord's name in vain is ok by any means. This is stated explicitly and does bother me.
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whatseekye
Well-Known Member
Matt, what question are you referring to? I didn't ask you a question in my last reply. At any rate, perhaps you are either right on this issue, or perhaps you are more persuasive, because it appears that the original poster agrees with you!livin4thebigman said:
I think everyone here understands what you are saying. You use consideration when swearing, although you don't swear all the time. You won't swear around people who you are unsure what they think of swearing. But it's my opinion that the reason a person should be consistent in their behavior all the time, ideally, is because we shouldn't care to please men. We should be more concerned with what God thinks. This is my bottom line on the issue. Now, I do understand you are saying that you think that the bible doesn't condemn swearing, so by implication....God doesn't care if we swear. I disagree with this. I'm sure you will think I'm putting words in your mouth but I am not. I am saying what the implication is.
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Everglaze
Atheist Council Representative
"Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving." - Ephesians 5:4forgivenmuch said:i have heard people say a few bad words that i have trusted to be in God.. they say they are not wrong.. it dont mean nothing... the bad words they say..are not the GD word..but alot of the other ones.. leave post please
We shouldn't swear because it doesn't demonstrate Christ. Besides, it can be a stumbling block for other Christians who are weak in the Faith and that could add to the problem. Swearing is not beneficial to others and will not encourage. Excessive swearing will cause one to wonder how mature you really are and intellectually. As a Christian, you should always strive to better yourself and that means sin less. How can swearing be glorifying to God? or how can swearing be beneficial? it sets the wrong examples. You have to becareful because swearing will also add to the mix of complications when you're around unbelievers, you'll start setting the wrong examples.
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I would agree with this to a certain extent (taking into consideration who is around you)
Perhaps I am seeing the glass half empty and you are seeing the glass half full (or vice versa) I would whole-heartedly agree that we should strive to please men. I don't see my actions as attempting to please men, rather I see it as me respecting others and in doing so, pleasing God. I hope this makes sense. Perhaps I am at fault.
However, I do not feel that I am.
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I don't have time to look over all the posts here, but from what I have seen, I have not seen these verses quoted, and I believe thes verses put this issue to bed:
Eph. Ch. 5 V. 4: "Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or course joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving."
Col. Ch. 3 V. 8: "But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander and filthy language from your lips."
Travis
Eph. Ch. 5 V. 4: "Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or course joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving."
Col. Ch. 3 V. 8: "But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander and filthy language from your lips."
Travis
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We are told, and i assume that we all want to, act as Christ would.. The post above actually shows mentions in the bible of not cursing, but even if it didnt i would like to think that to act as Jesus would, that would not include cursing.
Sometimes i slip, like when i stub my toe or something.. but I think that cursing at others should never be tolerated, and i dont think that god would tolerate it either.. But even swearing in general makes me feel guilty, even if it isnt technically a sin.
Sometimes i slip, like when i stub my toe or something
.. but I think that cursing at others should never be tolerated, and i dont think that god would tolerate it either.. But even swearing in general makes me feel guilty, even if it isnt technically a sin.
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MusicMelOU
Regular Member
I think it is how you use the word and what is in your heart when you use the word that determines if it is a sin.
If I say I need to take a ****, then I'm just stating a fact. I prefer not to use that word because others do find it offensive, but in that context, it is just a synonym for a much more scientific way to say something, and in my mind, that is not considered "cursing". I'd consider that "using slang".
But if I told someone I was mad at to go **** on him/herself using that same word, I think it would then become a sin, because you're using the word to inflict anger onto that person, and Jesus said on the Mount that those who are angry at their brothers commits murder in his/her heart.
If I say I need to take a ****, then I'm just stating a fact. I prefer not to use that word because others do find it offensive, but in that context, it is just a synonym for a much more scientific way to say something, and in my mind, that is not considered "cursing". I'd consider that "using slang".
But if I told someone I was mad at to go **** on him/herself using that same word, I think it would then become a sin, because you're using the word to inflict anger onto that person, and Jesus said on the Mount that those who are angry at their brothers commits murder in his/her heart.
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i see what your saying ..and that makes alot of sense music me. if you do swear or say bad words its the content of what you mean by it. i have cursed before.. but now that i have a 3 yr old.. i cant do that no more.. he will pick up everything i say.. i dont think it sounds good for people to be cursing.. but i wont judge them..thats between them and God.
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MusicMelOU
Regular Member
Though I must add I still try to avoid words that other people find offensive because I don't want to cause someone else to stumble because of something I've said.
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i would also. i however try to watch what i say anytime.. i have a 3 yr old.. and they pick up everything! lol i would not want him to go to school saying a word he did not even know what it meant. it would fall back on me.. and my hubby.. and then we would be in trouble. so in my situaiton.. i would reap what i sowed..yikes.. i have to keep it clean.
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WhiteFeather
Active Member
I recently attended classes called "cleansing streams", it not only addressed cursing as in foul language, but what you speak can also bring a curse onto others as well as yourself, and pass into generations. As in parents who say things to thier children, being unworthy etc, and the child lives out thier lives, living a lie and believing they are stupid, worthless etc. This is why we are always suppose to guard our tongue and speak words of life.
Proverbs 18
21Death and life are in the power of the tongue,
And those who love it will eat its fruit.
Proverbs 25
11A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold
In settings of silver.
Matt 12
36But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. 37For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned."
Matt 13
19When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in his heart. This is the seed sown along the path.
23But the one who received the seed that fell on good soil is the man who hears the word and understands it. He produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown."
37He answered, "The one who sowed the good seed is the Son of Man. 38The field is the world, and the good seed stands for the sons of the kingdom.
Luke 6
45The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.
Hebrews 12
15looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled
In this class we learned about receiving, retaining, and reproducing, with the above scriptures.
The soil recieves the seed, retains the seed, and reproduces the seed and bares fruit. (multiplies)
We were to think of ourselves as plots of ground, where we can plant seeds to reproduce life if it is retaind. Recieve us or others - plots of ground
Accepting the word - 3 sources - God, Flesh, Devil
Retaining - Meditate on Gods word, embrace and let it germinate
Reproduce - if we recieve adn retain, we will produce and multiply itself, it is impacted to generations.
Words are like seeds that when spoken are sown into our soul or others. You have a choice - you do not have to recieve every word, you do not have to retian every word recieved, But if you recieve and if you retain, the words will reproduce.
The effects of our words are long lasting and far reaching. Seeds of death are gossip, slander, critisism, complaint, lies and malice.
Curse is something spoken or written against an individual or group of individuals that contradicts the will of God s revealed in his Word.
Blessings are words or statements toward an individual or group of individuals, that is in full aggrement with God's word, and intended purpose.
Test the words... Are they from God? Do they agree with what he has already said in the Scriptures?
Are they from the flesh? Do they lead you to selfish actions and attitudes?
Are they from the devil? Do they slander or defame teh Word of God or his character?
Proverbs 18
21Death and life are in the power of the tongue,
And those who love it will eat its fruit.
Proverbs 25
11A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold
In settings of silver.
Matt 12
36But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. 37For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned."
Matt 13
19When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in his heart. This is the seed sown along the path.
23But the one who received the seed that fell on good soil is the man who hears the word and understands it. He produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown."
37He answered, "The one who sowed the good seed is the Son of Man. 38The field is the world, and the good seed stands for the sons of the kingdom.
Luke 6
45The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.
Hebrews 12
15looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled
In this class we learned about receiving, retaining, and reproducing, with the above scriptures.
The soil recieves the seed, retains the seed, and reproduces the seed and bares fruit. (multiplies)
We were to think of ourselves as plots of ground, where we can plant seeds to reproduce life if it is retaind. Recieve us or others - plots of ground
Accepting the word - 3 sources - God, Flesh, Devil
Retaining - Meditate on Gods word, embrace and let it germinate
Reproduce - if we recieve adn retain, we will produce and multiply itself, it is impacted to generations.
Words are like seeds that when spoken are sown into our soul or others. You have a choice - you do not have to recieve every word, you do not have to retian every word recieved, But if you recieve and if you retain, the words will reproduce.
The effects of our words are long lasting and far reaching. Seeds of death are gossip, slander, critisism, complaint, lies and malice.
Curse is something spoken or written against an individual or group of individuals that contradicts the will of God s revealed in his Word.
Blessings are words or statements toward an individual or group of individuals, that is in full aggrement with God's word, and intended purpose.
Test the words... Are they from God? Do they agree with what he has already said in the Scriptures?
Are they from the flesh? Do they lead you to selfish actions and attitudes?
Are they from the devil? Do they slander or defame teh Word of God or his character?
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"If verses right from the Bible in the most modern translation are not objective proof.......then what would be? There are many more verses than those I gave that speak about how we are to conduct ourselves graciously before the world to the point that they cannot speak evil of us or bring reproach upon the Lord's name.
Really, the verses are simple and easy to understand, and attempting to justify a dirty mouth by denying them......well, that is called fooling oneself.."
Perhaps the !!**A W E S O M E** !! power of speech that God gives us is taken too lightly these days by folks, MYSELF being no exception. Jesus said strive to "BE PERFECT!' - in every way. Think about it. You can set a positive mood with speech, make someone feel good and encourage them.. This is what we are called to do. You can also lower the bar on standards within a conversation, event, family, group of friends, etc - with one SINGLE sentence. These words are are in fact part of the actions that make us who we are. This is why I realize that "virtual" words are just important as in person. Communication? Yes, we need to be careful.
Secondly, today there is too much a "new-age" trend toward over-analyzing, di-secting , ..questioning..etc well...everything 9in order to build our earthy "collective" ego. I am not accusing anyone here - please don't get me wrong. AND
No, I am not saying it is all bad. People do it to because in some cases it is called for, sometimes to make themselves feel smart, and sometimes just out of habit. Let the Holy Spirit lead us to the common sense in scripture and reveal the meaning. I don't think we need to go too deep on this one personally though. I haven't read the entire thread but glad someone brought up the topic.
Really, the verses are simple and easy to understand, and attempting to justify a dirty mouth by denying them......well, that is called fooling oneself.."
Perhaps the !!**A W E S O M E** !! power of speech that God gives us is taken too lightly these days by folks, MYSELF being no exception. Jesus said strive to "BE PERFECT!' - in every way. Think about it. You can set a positive mood with speech, make someone feel good and encourage them.. This is what we are called to do. You can also lower the bar on standards within a conversation, event, family, group of friends, etc - with one SINGLE sentence. These words are are in fact part of the actions that make us who we are. This is why I realize that "virtual" words are just important as in person. Communication? Yes, we need to be careful.
Secondly, today there is too much a "new-age" trend toward over-analyzing, di-secting , ..questioning..etc well...everything 9in order to build our earthy "collective" ego. I am not accusing anyone here - please don't get me wrong. AND
No, I am not saying it is all bad. People do it to because in some cases it is called for, sometimes to make themselves feel smart, and sometimes just out of habit. Let the Holy Spirit lead us to the common sense in scripture and reveal the meaning. I don't think we need to go too deep on this one personally though. I haven't read the entire thread but glad someone brought up the topic.
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Cursing isn't a sin. But what would you think of a person who cusses? Would you think he/she a Christian?
Edit: As a college student, my roommate isn't a Christian and it really bothers me when he uses God and Jesus's (I know, Trinity, but I'm making a point here) name in vain. Cussing (words like **** and **** and *****) on the other hand doesn't really bother me from a non-Christian; but when it's coming from a Christian, it just doesn't feel right, ya know?
Edit: As a college student, my roommate isn't a Christian and it really bothers me when he uses God and Jesus's (I know, Trinity, but I'm making a point here) name in vain. Cussing (words like **** and **** and *****) on the other hand doesn't really bother me from a non-Christian; but when it's coming from a Christian, it just doesn't feel right, ya know?
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homewardbound
Senior Member
Although I admittedly haven't completely cleaned up my vocabulary, I think it's important to do so. A good litmus test I often use is to imagine myself having a casual conversation with Jesus. If what comes out of my mouth would potentially offend him, it's a good sign that I need to choose a different way of expressing myself.
Remember, too, that even though we might think profanity is ok, the majority of people (even those who use it) think otherwise...at least in their hearts. Consequently, using profanity can hinder your ability to lead others to Christ.
Remember, too, that even though we might think profanity is ok, the majority of people (even those who use it) think otherwise...at least in their hearts. Consequently, using profanity can hinder your ability to lead others to Christ.
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HolySpiritWarrior
Learnin' HIS Ways...
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"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth" (Ephesians 4:29).
Cleaning up our languagebe it cussing, gossip or lyingmay be the toughest challenge of living our faith. God knew we'd have a hard time with this; the Bible says no one can "tame the tongue" (James 3:8).
Still, God wants us to try. Listen to this: "If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless" (James 1:26).
Strong words.
So, how do we "tame the tongue"? First, we need to look at some of the ways it gets out of control. And then we'll look at some things we can do about it.
Cussing
Actually, "cussing" is a slang term that includes several types of inappropriate languagecursing, profanities and obscenities.
A "curse," according to my dictionary, is "an appeal for evil or misfortune to befall someone." Here's what the Bible says: "Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse" (Romans 12:14). That's a tall order; when someone hurts us, we want to hurt back. But God obviously says that's wrong.
"Profanity" is language showing disrespect for something sacred, such as the name of God. This breaks God's heart in a big way. That's why it's one of the Ten Commandments: "You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God" (Exodus 20:7).
"Obscenities" include all other forms of foul language, often sexual in nature. Dirty jokes fall into this category. Again, the Bible's clear: "Nor should there be any obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place" (Ephesians 5:4). Also: "Rid yourself of filthy language" (Colossians 3:8).
It's obvious that "cussing" is out of line for Christians. Fortunately, God gives us alternatives. Throughout the Bible, when we're commanded not to do something wrong, we're also told something we should be doing right.
For instance, Ephesians 4:29 tells us to avoid "any unwholesome talk." But the verse goes on to say that our speech should be "helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."
So, it's a two-step process, but both steps should be taken at the same time. Not only are we to quit using bad language, but we're to replace it with language that will "benefit those who listen." Use words that are pure, kind and encouraging.
Gossip
We all know what gossip is, right? It happens when we say cruddy stuff about people. We tell a secret. Spread a half-truth. Tell a whole truth that no one really needs to know.
Yes, even if the news is true, it can still be gossip: "Did you hear Amanda's pregnant?" That may be true. But if you're just spreading the news because it makes for good talk, that's gossip.
But if you're sharing the news with a trusted friend because you want to help the person involved, that's a different story: "Did you hear Amanda's pregnant? Her parents aren't being very supportive. I wonder how we could help her. Maybe we could ask her if she'd like to visit that Christian home for unwed mothers. Maybe they could help "
That's not gossip. That's trying to find a solution to Amanda's situation.
So your motive determines whether news becomes gossip. If your intentions are good, you can bring the gossip to a grinding halt and turn it into something positive. But if you just want to pass on the latest piece of juicy information, it's gossip.
A note of caution: Christians frequently disguise gossip in the form of prayer requests. For instance: "Did you hear Amanda's pregnant? We should pray for her." Again, it depends on your motive. If you're sincerely concerned about Amanda and you want to invite a trusted friend to pray for her, that's not gossip. But if you're using the "prayer request" thing as an excuse to blab about something, that's gossip.
Often, of course, gossip is the spreading of false news, or rumors. This is clearly wrong. If you know something to be untrue, or even if you're not sure if it's true, don't spread it around.
Sometimes, gossip can get downright nasty when people intend to hurt the person involved: "Did you hear Amanda's pregnant? Hey, she asked for it. She's always at the wildest parties, flirting with guys. She's such a tease. She had it coming."
This is no longer gossip, but slander, which could be described as gossip with a mean streak, with the sole purpose of ripping apart someone's reputation.
The Bible has plenty to say about gossip and slander. Some examples:
"A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much" (Proverbs 20:19).
"Do not go about spreading slander among your people" (Leviticus 19:16).
"Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice" (Ephesians 4:31).
Again, the Bible doesn't stop with the negative commands. It suggests positive alternatives:
Ephesians 4:31 is immediately followed by these words in verse 32: "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."
So, tell a friend, a youth leader, a teacher or your parents how much you appreciate them. Send someone an encouraging note. Tell somebody you're thinking about them. If you're praying for someone, tell them. There are all kinds of ways to "be kind and compassionate to one another."
Lying
We all know it's wrong. Still, lying is alive and well.
Check out these survey results:
57 percent of American teenagers believe that "lying is sometimes necessary." Note: 45 percent of Christian teens surveyed believe this, too.
In the past three months alone, 66 percent of American teens who attend church have lied to a parent, teacher or other adult; 59 percent have lied to a friend or peer.
If we know lying is wrong, why do we do it? A few reasons:
We fear the consequences of telling the truth. (See Genesis 18:10-15.)
Lying can be more convenient than telling the truth.
Lying can make us look good to our friends: Yeah, I got an A on the test, too.
But telling the truth is always the best option. Yes, you might get grounded. And true, you may not look as good in front of your friends. But those are short-term consequences. Our long-term integrity is at stake every time we choose between telling a lie and telling the truth: "Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment" (Proverbs 12:19).
Here's another way to look at it: If you lie about something to your parents, and they find out the truth, you might get grounded for a week. But it'll probably take them a lot longer than a week to fully trust you again.
It's a long, hard process to restore your integrity once you've lost it. It's much better to keep your integrity all along.
The Bible has much to say about lying and integrity, too:
"Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator" (Colossians 3:9-10).
"The Lord detests lying lips" (Proverbs 12:22).
And yet again, the Bible offers positive alternatives. Proverbs 12:22 goes on to tell us that God "delights in men who are truthful."
A Better Way
Obviously, our words can do big-time harm. But they also have the power to do incredible good.
You've probably heard the old campfire song that goes, "And they'll know we are Christians by our love."
It's true, you know. And one of the best ways to show our love is through our words.
So I'm gonna try harder to use my words carefully. And to use 'em right.
"Encourage one another," the Bible tells us in 1 Thessalonians 5:11, "and build each other up."
Let the building begin.
Cleaning It Up
We all know that our words and our conversations should be clean (Ephesians 4:29). So how can we go about cleaning up our act? Some suggestions:
Don't hang around with people who use bad language. Yes, God wants us to be witnesses to our non-believing friends, and we certainly shouldn't avoid them altogether. But if we're always hanging around people who cuss, their language is bound to rub off on us, no matter how strong our faith is. (See Romans 12:2.)
Find a trusted friend to hold you accountable for your language. This should be someone who will pray for you, someone willing to confront you when you use bad language, someone who will ask you frequently, "Well, how's it going with the language thing?" Be honest with this person; when you mess up, 'fess up.
Consider setting up some sort of penalty system. The most effective way might be to fine yourself every time you catch yourself using bad language. And make it hurt; fining yourself a nickel each time you use a bad word probably won't hurt much. Think about fining yourself at least a dollar each time. Then, at the end of the week or month, put that money in the offering plate at church.
Memorize Scripture. God tells us that his Word is "useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness" (2 Timothy 3:16). Learn some of the verses quoted in the main article on these pages. Start with Ephesians 4:29, and go from there.
Ask your youth pastor for suggestions. He or she may have struggled with this same problem at some time, and probably will have some good ideas to help get you on the right track. Suggest that it might be a good topic to cover at youth group some time.
Pray. Simple as that. Confess the times you've messed up, and ask God to help you keep your speech clean and pure. Prayer works. (See John 14:14.)
My brother gave this to me hopr it helped...
Cleaning up our languagebe it cussing, gossip or lyingmay be the toughest challenge of living our faith. God knew we'd have a hard time with this; the Bible says no one can "tame the tongue" (James 3:8).
Still, God wants us to try. Listen to this: "If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless" (James 1:26).
Strong words.
So, how do we "tame the tongue"? First, we need to look at some of the ways it gets out of control. And then we'll look at some things we can do about it.
Cussing
Actually, "cussing" is a slang term that includes several types of inappropriate languagecursing, profanities and obscenities.
A "curse," according to my dictionary, is "an appeal for evil or misfortune to befall someone." Here's what the Bible says: "Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse" (Romans 12:14). That's a tall order; when someone hurts us, we want to hurt back. But God obviously says that's wrong.
"Profanity" is language showing disrespect for something sacred, such as the name of God. This breaks God's heart in a big way. That's why it's one of the Ten Commandments: "You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God" (Exodus 20:7).
"Obscenities" include all other forms of foul language, often sexual in nature. Dirty jokes fall into this category. Again, the Bible's clear: "Nor should there be any obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place" (Ephesians 5:4). Also: "Rid yourself of filthy language" (Colossians 3:8).
It's obvious that "cussing" is out of line for Christians. Fortunately, God gives us alternatives. Throughout the Bible, when we're commanded not to do something wrong, we're also told something we should be doing right.
For instance, Ephesians 4:29 tells us to avoid "any unwholesome talk." But the verse goes on to say that our speech should be "helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."
So, it's a two-step process, but both steps should be taken at the same time. Not only are we to quit using bad language, but we're to replace it with language that will "benefit those who listen." Use words that are pure, kind and encouraging.
Gossip
We all know what gossip is, right? It happens when we say cruddy stuff about people. We tell a secret. Spread a half-truth. Tell a whole truth that no one really needs to know.
Yes, even if the news is true, it can still be gossip: "Did you hear Amanda's pregnant?" That may be true. But if you're just spreading the news because it makes for good talk, that's gossip.
But if you're sharing the news with a trusted friend because you want to help the person involved, that's a different story: "Did you hear Amanda's pregnant? Her parents aren't being very supportive. I wonder how we could help her. Maybe we could ask her if she'd like to visit that Christian home for unwed mothers. Maybe they could help "
That's not gossip. That's trying to find a solution to Amanda's situation.
So your motive determines whether news becomes gossip. If your intentions are good, you can bring the gossip to a grinding halt and turn it into something positive. But if you just want to pass on the latest piece of juicy information, it's gossip.
A note of caution: Christians frequently disguise gossip in the form of prayer requests. For instance: "Did you hear Amanda's pregnant? We should pray for her." Again, it depends on your motive. If you're sincerely concerned about Amanda and you want to invite a trusted friend to pray for her, that's not gossip. But if you're using the "prayer request" thing as an excuse to blab about something, that's gossip.
Often, of course, gossip is the spreading of false news, or rumors. This is clearly wrong. If you know something to be untrue, or even if you're not sure if it's true, don't spread it around.
Sometimes, gossip can get downright nasty when people intend to hurt the person involved: "Did you hear Amanda's pregnant? Hey, she asked for it. She's always at the wildest parties, flirting with guys. She's such a tease. She had it coming."
This is no longer gossip, but slander, which could be described as gossip with a mean streak, with the sole purpose of ripping apart someone's reputation.
The Bible has plenty to say about gossip and slander. Some examples:
"A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much" (Proverbs 20:19).
"Do not go about spreading slander among your people" (Leviticus 19:16).
"Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice" (Ephesians 4:31).
Again, the Bible doesn't stop with the negative commands. It suggests positive alternatives:
Ephesians 4:31 is immediately followed by these words in verse 32: "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."
So, tell a friend, a youth leader, a teacher or your parents how much you appreciate them. Send someone an encouraging note. Tell somebody you're thinking about them. If you're praying for someone, tell them. There are all kinds of ways to "be kind and compassionate to one another."
Lying
We all know it's wrong. Still, lying is alive and well.
Check out these survey results:
57 percent of American teenagers believe that "lying is sometimes necessary." Note: 45 percent of Christian teens surveyed believe this, too.
In the past three months alone, 66 percent of American teens who attend church have lied to a parent, teacher or other adult; 59 percent have lied to a friend or peer.
If we know lying is wrong, why do we do it? A few reasons:
We fear the consequences of telling the truth. (See Genesis 18:10-15.)
Lying can be more convenient than telling the truth.
Lying can make us look good to our friends: Yeah, I got an A on the test, too.
But telling the truth is always the best option. Yes, you might get grounded. And true, you may not look as good in front of your friends. But those are short-term consequences. Our long-term integrity is at stake every time we choose between telling a lie and telling the truth: "Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment" (Proverbs 12:19).
Here's another way to look at it: If you lie about something to your parents, and they find out the truth, you might get grounded for a week. But it'll probably take them a lot longer than a week to fully trust you again.
It's a long, hard process to restore your integrity once you've lost it. It's much better to keep your integrity all along.
The Bible has much to say about lying and integrity, too:
"Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator" (Colossians 3:9-10).
"The Lord detests lying lips" (Proverbs 12:22).
And yet again, the Bible offers positive alternatives. Proverbs 12:22 goes on to tell us that God "delights in men who are truthful."
A Better Way
Obviously, our words can do big-time harm. But they also have the power to do incredible good.
You've probably heard the old campfire song that goes, "And they'll know we are Christians by our love."
It's true, you know. And one of the best ways to show our love is through our words.
So I'm gonna try harder to use my words carefully. And to use 'em right.
"Encourage one another," the Bible tells us in 1 Thessalonians 5:11, "and build each other up."
Let the building begin.
Cleaning It Up
We all know that our words and our conversations should be clean (Ephesians 4:29). So how can we go about cleaning up our act? Some suggestions:
Don't hang around with people who use bad language. Yes, God wants us to be witnesses to our non-believing friends, and we certainly shouldn't avoid them altogether. But if we're always hanging around people who cuss, their language is bound to rub off on us, no matter how strong our faith is. (See Romans 12:2.)
Find a trusted friend to hold you accountable for your language. This should be someone who will pray for you, someone willing to confront you when you use bad language, someone who will ask you frequently, "Well, how's it going with the language thing?" Be honest with this person; when you mess up, 'fess up.
Consider setting up some sort of penalty system. The most effective way might be to fine yourself every time you catch yourself using bad language. And make it hurt; fining yourself a nickel each time you use a bad word probably won't hurt much. Think about fining yourself at least a dollar each time. Then, at the end of the week or month, put that money in the offering plate at church.
Memorize Scripture. God tells us that his Word is "useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness" (2 Timothy 3:16). Learn some of the verses quoted in the main article on these pages. Start with Ephesians 4:29, and go from there.
Ask your youth pastor for suggestions. He or she may have struggled with this same problem at some time, and probably will have some good ideas to help get you on the right track. Suggest that it might be a good topic to cover at youth group some time.
Pray. Simple as that. Confess the times you've messed up, and ask God to help you keep your speech clean and pure. Prayer works. (See John 14:14.)
My brother gave this to me hopr it helped...
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Wow HolySpiritWarrior! You have a very good perspective on the tongue! Gossip especially is possibly even WORSE than cussing in my opinion as it spreads ill feelings and resentment, jealousy, and all kinds of nasty "Demons" out to start trouble.
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A
AlanBoB
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I think its all about intent
if you say your a ****ing *******
vs. saying
your an idiotic jerk...
whose to say one is worse than the other, just different verbage, maybe even slyly said to skirt around the circles of what is 'appropriate'
if you say that when someone says a curse word is wrong and then insult someone another way, or say c rap in the same meaning as its curse word bretheren, I beleive you are a hypocrit...
*shrug* my two cents
if you say your a ****ing *******
vs. saying
your an idiotic jerk...
whose to say one is worse than the other, just different verbage, maybe even slyly said to skirt around the circles of what is 'appropriate'
if you say that when someone says a curse word is wrong and then insult someone another way, or say c rap in the same meaning as its curse word bretheren, I beleive you are a hypocrit...
*shrug* my two cents
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