Is it a sin if I fail to speak up about another's sin right away?

[tuliplane]

Sometimes there are things that I don't agree with my husband on, that I believe he may be going against scripture. However, I at times feel that it isn't the time or place for me to address it and that he wouldn't be receptive to my words. I then feel very guilty as if I'm allowing him to sin...that maybe he is unaware or needs someone to address it, but I'm torn because it's so difficult for me to do. Am I sinning for not confronting certain things right away, or perhaps enabling by being passive?

 

[Tolworth John]

Sometimes there are things that I don't agree with my husband on, that I believe he may be going against scripture. However, I at times feel that it isn't the time or place for me to address it and that he wouldn't be receptive to my words. I then feel very guilty as if I'm allowing him to sin...that maybe he is unaware or needs someone to address it, but I'm torn because it's so difficult for me to do. Am I sinning for not confronting certain things right away, or perhaps enabling by being passive?

You are not your husbands consence.
If his behavior disturbs you then do discuss it with him.
May I suggest that you use pharases like:- ' when you do/say ..... , it hurts me/makes me feel.....'

 

[pdudgeon]

Sometimes there are things that I don't agree with my husband on, that I believe he may be going against scripture. However, I at times feel that it isn't the time or place for me to address it and that he wouldn't be receptive to my words. I then feel very guilty as if I'm allowing him to sin...that maybe he is unaware or needs someone to address it, but I'm torn because it's so difficult for me to do. Am I sinning for not confronting certain things right away, or perhaps enabling by being passive?

There's a lot to cover about this, but let's start with the basics, OK?

First, do you and your husband follow the same faith? It always helps if you do, because then you have a common view point from which to begin the discussion.
Secondly, does your husband have another man or a group of men to have religious discussions with?
If not, then that is a good place to begin those discussions, because often times a man can reach another man more easily than a wife can.

Third, who is usually the person who initiates a discussion between the two of you?
Hopefully these are some starting points that the two of you can use to begin a conversation about your religious feelings.

 

[eleos1954]

Sometimes there are things that I don't agree with my husband on, that I believe he may be going against scripture. However, I at times feel that it isn't the time or place for me to address it and that he wouldn't be receptive to my words. I then feel very guilty as if I'm allowing him to sin...that maybe he is unaware or needs someone to address it, but I'm torn because it's so difficult for me to do. Am I sinning for not confronting certain things right away, or perhaps enabling by being passive?

You should always be honest about your feelings but expressed in a kind way. If your spouse is doing something that is bothering you .... you should talk to him/her about it and vice/versa.

 

[tuliplane]

You are not your husbands consence.
If his behavior disturbs you then do discuss it with him.
May I suggest that you use pharases like:- ' when you do/say ..... , it hurts me/makes me feel.....'

Well it could be something he is doing that doesn't align with scripture, but isn't personally offensive to me. How do I go about that?

 

[tuliplane]

There's a lot to cover about this, but let's start with the basics, OK?

First, do you and your husband follow the same faith? It always helps if you do, because then you have a common view point from which to begin the discussion.
Secondly, does your husband have another man or a group of men to have religious discussions with?
If not, then that is a good place to begin those discussions, because often times a man can reach another man more easily than a wife can.

Third, who is usually the person who initiates a discussion between the two of you?
Hopefully these are some starting points that the two of you can use to begin a conversation about your religious feelings.

Good questions.

Yes, we have the same faith, however, he is more or less in a period of spiritual rockiness or doubting about certain things...so sometimes I feel he may not be ready to hear some ideas.

No, he doesn't really have any other men to have spiritual discussions with and I think that would be really helpful. He doesn't have good experience either, as the last church we were a part of basically ignored him when he was trying to gain spiritual advice and insight.

I would say he typically initiates discussions. I am very non confrontational (something I need to work on). I tend to be agreeable and he tends to be argumentative, so it can be a challenge.

 

[tuliplane]

You should always be honest about your feelings but expressed in a kind way. If your spouse is doing something that is bothering you .... you should talk to him/her about it and vice/versa.

This question is more on general topics that we disagree on then personal offenses against me.

 

[PloverWing]

Sometimes there are things that I don't agree with my husband on, that I believe he may be going against scripture.
...
Am I sinning for not confronting certain things right away, or perhaps enabling by being passive?

I'd say it depends on the issue, and the line I'd probably draw is: How likely is it that his beliefs will hurt other people? If it's a theological question that doesn't really affect one's daily actions towards people (e.g.: Should the book of Tobit be in the Bible? Should our church have bishops or not?), then you can quietly agree to disagree. But if it's a matter that might result in actions that hurt people, then that's worth speaking to him about. If, for example, he thinks that people of a particular ethnic group shouldn't be allowed in your neighborhood, or if he's violent towards people in his life, that's worth confronting.

What kinds of disagreements are we talking about?

 

[turkle]

Good questions.

Yes, we have the same faith, however, he is more or less in a period of spiritual rockiness or doubting about certain things...so sometimes I feel he may not be ready to hear some ideas.

No, he doesn't really have any other men to have spiritual discussions with and I think that would be really helpful. He doesn't have good experience either, as the last church we were a part of basically ignored him when he was trying to gain spiritual advice and insight.

I would say he typically initiates discussions. I am very non confrontational (something I need to work on). I tend to be agreeable and he tends to be argumentative, so it can be a challenge.

If he is not spiritually solid, then using scripture to him will most likely make him feel that you are using scripture as a weapon against him. Besides, if he isn't following Christ, it won't matter to him.

You should not be confrontational. You must speak the truth in love. That means that you tell him what you are thinking, but do so kindly. Staying quiet about unacceptable behavior is harmful to your relationship. That is how resentment builds. Speak up, but do so as the Lord would have you to do.

 

[eleos1954]

This question is more on general topics that we disagree on then personal offenses against me.

well ... both of you should feel comfortable discussing things you disagree on .... might end up to agree to disagree .... but if it's something really bothering one or the other then change needs to take place.

 

[Tolworth John]

Well it could be something he is doing that doesn't align with scripture, but isn't personally offensive to me. How do I go about that?

I think it dependson how important they are. If they are not anti christian, either ignor them or as why he does that?

 

[Gregory Thompson]

Sometimes there are things that I don't agree with my husband on, that I believe he may be going against scripture. However, I at times feel that it isn't the time or place for me to address it and that he wouldn't be receptive to my words. I then feel very guilty as if I'm allowing him to sin...that maybe he is unaware or needs someone to address it, but I'm torn because it's so difficult for me to do. Am I sinning for not confronting certain things right away, or perhaps enabling by being passive?

Obsessing over this is self harming, and therefore also a sin.

Taking away from Philippians Chapter 4, I'd say the lesson here is to cultivate an instinct to pray to replace the instinct to worry or to react with anxiety. i.e. over time replace one reflex with another.

 

[GoldenKingGaze]

Perhaps agree to forgive then prepare what to say with tact?

 

[Blade]

Sometimes there are things that I don't agree with my husband on, that I believe he may be going against scripture. However, I at times feel that it isn't the time or place for me to address it and that he wouldn't be receptive to my words. I then feel very guilty as if I'm allowing him to sin...that maybe he is unaware or needs someone to address it, but I'm torn because it's so difficult for me to do. Am I sinning for not confronting certain things right away, or perhaps enabling by being passive?

Hey..Hi. Lets address "guilt" first. Christ died for that did you know? So any time we feel guilty its never from God. Its hard for me to touch this only hearing from one side Now thinking about my wife.. I think shes sinning all the time Smile. Anyway I think it depends on the the sin. I think it also depends on how close we are and by that I mean are we praying all the time together? Where we always pray about everything in our lifes? So much its coming to mind. I think if you take away anything its and I am NO asking but what "sin" your talking about.

Depends on what your relationship is like. HAHA I can be very grumpy and bark so to speak yet...she knows after 38y how to get me to listen. So there are times she says nothing when I think she would and that alone makes me feel .. I really still need to change for love never thinks of self always the other. Or just pray give it to Christ. Its when we let go and give it to Him fully that He will take care of it fix it. Like the song meant for young girls but.. "If you've done it and you wonder what to do, Go to Jesus and He will make you brand new". He will if we give it to HIm make it brand new.

 

[RaymondG]

When all motes are removed from one's own eye, it does not make it easier to see the beams in your neighbors eye...it makes it harder.....nay impossible.

 

[tuliplane]

Hey..Hi. Lets address "guilt" first. Christ died for that did you know? So any time we feel guilty its never from God. Its hard for me to touch this only hearing from one side Now thinking about my wife.. I think shes sinning all the time Smile. Anyway I think it depends on the the sin. I think it also depends on how close we are and by that I mean are we praying all the time together? Where we always pray about everything in our lifes? So much its coming to mind. I think if you take away anything its and I am NO asking but what "sin" your talking about.

Depends on what your relationship is like. HAHA I can be very grumpy and bark so to speak yet...she knows after 38y how to get me to listen. So there are times she says nothing when I think she would and that alone makes me feel .. I really still need to change for love never thinks of self always the other. Or just pray give it to Christ. Its when we let go and give it to Him fully that He will take care of it fix it. Like the song meant for young girls but.. "If you've done it and you wonder what to do, Go to Jesus and He will make you brand new". He will if we give it to HIm make it brand new.

Thank you for your thoughtful reply. I know I struggle a lot with the guilt thing, but the way I understand it, is guilt is from God and condemnation is not (unless of course we adamantly reject Him). I know Christ died for it, but that doesn't remove some natural effects of sin.

You made a really good point about the praying together thing...No we do not do that; I don't even really know where to begin to be honest.

I like what you wrote about Him making us brand new. I have a hard time though, thinking how it doesn't necessarily erase any damage we might have caused because of our sin.

 

[Gentle Lamb]

Make time to pray and read your Bibles together. Before suggesting that however, pray and ask God for wisdom about how to do it, given that you mentioned the state of spiritual rockiness. God can touch and change His heart. Yield your concerns to God and wait for the leading of the Holy Spirit. You can read a devotional together like Our Daily Bread, and then discuss and pray about it, maybe like 15 minutes a day.