Is he God's gift?

[DebbieDee]

Hello all! I need advice with my current situation. I am 38 years old & a single parent of a 19 year old. I gave my life to the Lord over a year ago but am struggling with feelings of lonliness. I have no close friends and openly admit that I have trust issues and find it difficult to confide in family members as I have been betrayed in the past by both friends and family.

My daughter is making a life for herself without me and soon will be fleeing the nest. I have abstained from relationships whilst rearing her and now feel ready to commit to a loving relationship.

I recently met a man some months ago. He is not a God fearing man. In fact he has existed on the wrong side of the tracks for his entire life. He is uneducated and often has problems communicating his emotions. When we initially met he was courteous, considerate, respectful and told me he loved me however as time went on he became frustrated with the situation but was willing to make sacrifices for the sake of my beliefs. As time went on he became demanding and occasionally verbally abusive. I ended the relationship two months ago but cannot help my feelings for this man. I have prayed and asked God for strength, knowledge and wisdom but cannot shake the feelings I have for this man. Do you think this man was sent from God to allow me to address my trust issues or should I steer clear? I have prayed to the Father and I know the Lord works in His time but I have waited over 19 years for the man He has designed for me. Do you think this man is God's answer?

 

[HisdaughterJen]

Well, I've heard it said that men come into your life to teach you something and so women should date and keep dating until the "right" one comes along.

I wouldn't think that God would send someone to you who is verbally abusive. I don't think that God sends men to us for us to "raise" them or "change" them either.

It could be that you met because you have something to teach each other.

I know that God puts people in our lives and he keeps us away from people. So, if someone has come into your life, I say, see it through until they are taken out of your life either physically or emotionally.

 

[miss-a]

Steer clear, please. Sometimes the enemy sends things into our paths. Abuse is never of God, nor is posing. When someone acts as if they are one thing, hook syou in, and then shows their true colors, they are posers. Posing is lying and lying is of the enemy.

God has someone for you. He says in His word not to unequally yoked. That means He wants you with someone who is a Christian, dedicated to the Lord. Ps 34 says, "Trust in the Lord and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord. Trust also in Him, and He will do it." (verses 3-6)

He will see that His plan for you is carried out. "He will do it." Spend this time of singleness fellowshipping with devoted Christians, spend time in church activities, in Bible study and prayer, getting to know the Lord and His character. Then you will be more likely to spot the person He has for you, and be aware when the enemy sends a poser. It is very common for this to happen with new Christians, the devil's plan to distract you from your time with God, the only One who can truly fill up your lonely heart. Satan wants to keep you from growing in your faith.

Also, even if a guy is a Christian or calls himself one, if he gets frustrated about your faith in any way, or goes out of his way to let you know he's sacrificing for the sake of your faith, this is a huge red flag.

So get to know the Lord. Spend as much time with Him and His people as possible. It is vital that you know Him and His character. Then you will know what and who is of Him.

Father God, please open the way for this dear one to know You more. Send the right teachers, church, church family, music, tapes, books and websites her way. Help her to feel you filling and healing her heart. Assure her that you have a beautiful plan for her life that does not involve compromising her faith or self respect, that You are prepaaring her for wonderful things, and that You will do it. Please show her Your next step for her path to freedom and joy, in Jesus. Thanks, Dad, Amen

 

[dayhiker]

I agree with Jen and Miss,
I don't think this man is for you. The best thing to do is get out there and meet some more guys. Christian guys preferable.

dayhiker

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

God allows things and people in our life for alot of reasons. I do not believe that this man was sent to you by God, nor do I believe you should continue with this relationship. The bible tells us not to be un-equally yoked. That means you should be with like-minded individuals as friends, business associates, and personal relationships. It will never go well if you continue with an unbeliever and in alot of cases the believer is weakened and sometimes even gives up on their faith.
We also are not to be ruled by our feelings or our heart. The bible says the heart is deceitfully wicked Jerimiah 17-9. Feelings are not to be trusted but the Lord is to be trusted. Please steer clear and wait for a clear response from the Lord. But be sure He (the guy in question) is NOT it.

 

[unrealiseddreams]

As already said, I dont think God has brought this man for you. Relationships might not always be easy and they need work, but this guys has shown signs that he is abusive already, generally these things get worse, my ex was lovely when I met him, before we married he showed some signs of agression but still had not abused me, but during marriage he was abusive, hit me, was verbally abusive every day and it was awful, dont get yourself into a situation you might find hard to get out of.

 

[dayhiker]

Debbie,
You still out there? What's been happening?

 

[Bridgit]

Hello all! I need advice with my current situation. I am 38 years old & a single parent of a 19 year old. I gave my life to the Lord over a year ago but am struggling with feelings of lonliness. I have no close friends and openly admit that I have trust issues and find it difficult to confide in family members as I have been betrayed in the past by both friends and family.

My daughter is making a life for herself without me and soon will be fleeing the nest. I have abstained from relationships whilst rearing her and now feel ready to commit to a loving relationship.

I recently met a man some months ago. He is not a God fearing man. In fact he has existed on the wrong side of the tracks for his entire life. He is uneducated and often has problems communicating his emotions. When we initially met he was courteous, considerate, respectful and told me he loved me however as time went on he became frustrated with the situation but was willing to make sacrifices for the sake of my beliefs. As time went on he became demanding and occasionally verbally abusive. I ended the relationship two months ago but cannot help my feelings for this man. I have prayed and asked God for strength, knowledge and wisdom but cannot shake the feelings I have for this man. Do you think this man was sent from God to allow me to address my trust issues or should I steer clear? I have prayed to the Father and I know the Lord works in His time but I have waited over 19 years for the man He has designed for me. Do you think this man is God's answer?

If you are a christian and he is not, I would stay away from him. This relationship can only bring you trouble. On top of it this man has already showed you that his behavior toward you is not always respectful. Do not make the mistake thinking this will change in the future or that you can change him. I made that mistake and paid dearly. I advise you to stay away from him. Stay close to God and read His word. You can read in the Bible that it is not good to marry somebody who does not share your beliefs. Right now pray that God's grace become sufficient for you. God loves you and He has a plan and a future for you. Do not go ahead of Him, you will regret it. It is better to be alone but at peace, then married to somebody who will make your life miserable. Do not let your feelings/emotions control you. You control them. I hope this helps. Take courage and may God give you the strength to do what is right.

Cheers.

 

[MsCarolAnne]

There was a certain woman who was walking down a path and saw a snake lying helplessly on the ground. The woman being kind and compastionate stopped to find out if the snake was all right. The snake implored her to help him. The woman took the snake home and cared for him. Soon he was well. The woman gently put her hand down to caress the snake. The snake bit her. The woman was confused, Why would you bite me after all I have done for you, she asked. The snake said, because I'm a snake and that is what I do.

Love is gentle, love is kind.
Are you sure you havnt heard from God. Sometimes we know he is telling us no,, but we dont listen, Ive been bitten twice, and both times I was warned,

 

[mjmcmillan]

That guy gives me the jim-jumps. First, he's not a believer so you have an unequally yoked thing going on right there. Then, the minute he became verbally abusive that settles it. The rest of it doesn't bother me too much, a person can be broke and still be a wonderful person.

Find a man who believes as you do, and who doesn't think verbal abuse is the way to communicate feelings. That way you won't end up on the "Divorced" threads or worse half a dozen years down the road.