Is he cheating?

[dollface82]

OK, bizarre story.

Boyfriend of 6 months told me he was going away for the wknd for work.

No big deal, I travel for work too.

I was driving to a friend's place on the weekend - I see my BOYFRIEND walking with another girl, and her dog. Not holding hands of anything. I was shocked.

I confronted them calmly, said Hi, thought you were meant to be away.

He said - I was - I was given the sack from my job yesterday, very upset, flew back in this morning, just wanted to talk to a friend before I saw you. Nothing going on with her.

She then said hi - known him for a while.

I just said "Ok then" and left. He then sent me a text saying he's really stressed out at the moment, and needs a bit of breathing space.

I've checked up - he has lost his job which is devestating.

Why didn't he tell me? Two weeks ago he told me he loved me,wants a future toghether and looking at properties.

He's never mentioned her before, he knows my male friends.

What to think? Has he been cheating this whole time? Or is his story legit?

I havn't heard from him the past 3 days - his phone/email accounts deactivated as work has paid for them.

I love him, this is heartbreaking.

Guys? Be honest.

 

[Natz]

Woah. My heart goes out to you.

You need to ask him if he is cheating. He is the only one who can say for sure. While I can say it sounds suspicious, speculation will do you no good. Ask him straight up. You guys need to communicate.

And while we are on the subject of communication, he needs to be talking to you and not his "friend" about what is going on with him. I don't think that is very healthy for your relationship, and I don't think it says much for his commitment to you and your relationship.

If you do decide to go forward you guys need to have serious, boundary-setting discussions about your communication, your friends of the opposite sex and their involvement in your lives.

In the mean time pray for direction and try to talk to him. Be gentle, deal with his job issues first and after some time, deal with your relationship issues. Remember some people need to learn to communicate effectively. Be gentle.

If he is unwilling to talk, walk!

Praying for you!

 

[RebornSinner]

And while we are on the subject of communication, he needs to be talking to you and not his "friend" about what is going on with him. I don't think that is very healthy for your relationship, and I don't think it says much for his commitment to you and your relationship.

If you do decide to go forward you guys need to have serious, boundary-setting discussions about your communication, your friends of the opposite sex and their involvement in your lives.

I couldn't agree more. If he can't(won't) share things with you, then your future, your present with him is not working. As I guy I would never even think about telling another friend (girl or guy) things that bothered me before I would tell my GF. I feel that you should both be each others best friend. No outside influence from opposite sex buddies. If he is using her shoulder to cry on, then he doesn't need yours. I will pray for you right now.

 

[charligirl]

It may well be legit in that they are just friends, but the whole situation throws up red flags, the fact he went to her first, the fact he hasn't contacted you in 3 days.

The fact he has gone from love/future/properties to avoidance and seeking out someone else to lean on in such a short space of time suggest to me he has committment issues. I assume as you mention properties he was talking about marriage to you?

You need to talk to him, tread gently but don't avoid the issue. If I am totally honest it doesn't sound good, but that's purely on what you have said in your post, the reality may be different.

 

[LongLegs]

What to think? Has he been cheating this whole time? Or is his story legit?

I havn't heard from him the past 3 days - his phone/email accounts deactivated as work has paid for them.

I love him, this is heartbreaking.

Guys? Be honest.

Cheating ... who knows. A loser ... for sure.


If I were you, I would disappear as far as he was concerned. Life is too short to spend with guys who are losers.

I can't believe how you all beat around the bush (talk to him, reason with him) .... he isn't really interested in this Dollface82 .... give her some good aadvice .... LEAVE.

Kathy