Is divorce a sin?

[ClementofA]

Is divorce a sin?

 

[faroukfarouk]

1 Corinthians 7.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

Is divorce a sin?

I don't believe that divorce, in itself, is a sin. But some of the reasons why a couple get divorced can have a sinful basis. Divorce because of adultery by one spouse, happens because of the sin of the adulterer, but the innocent spouse has not sinned by becoming divorced. In the same way, domestic violence is a sin which can result in a couple divorcing. It is not the divorce that is the sin, but the domestic violence. In the case of desertion when one partner decides just to leave the marriage rather than try to get help to save it, it is not the divorce that is the sin, but the refusal of the departing partner to get sound counsel to work to save the marriage.

We need to look at 1 Corinthians 7 in the context in which it was written. Paul is dealing with Corinthian men who were divorcing their wives because they had the mistaken belief that being single made them more spiritual and closer to God. The divorcing of the wives was not the problem, rather it concerned Paul about the reasons why the men were divorcing their wives. Of course, divorce in First Century culture was very serious for the wife, because the man was the breadwinner and sole supporter of the wife and children, and in divorcing his wife, he was leaving his wife to survive in poverty. I think that was a more serious sin than the divorce itself.

 

[PeterDona]

A biblical answer
Matthew 5:32 "but I say to you that whosoever divorces his wife, except for a word of fornication, causes her to commit adultery".

This is legal language which shows that whosoever divorces his wife will be held accountable for her adultery. That is really hard.

So what about the exception? The early Christians understood it like this: if the wife was already committing adultery, the husband had to separate from her to not be part of her adultery, and so this is the one situation where a divorce was needed - or at least a separation. And of course no remarriage.

There is a corruption in the world through lust (2 Peter 1:4). God will hold us to our solemn vows (where those vows were lawfully made) Numbers 30:2 and Matthew 12:36-37. But because of lust or the lack of the flame of lust in a marriage, people will corrupt their covenant vows and divorce and "move on with their life".

 

[dreadnought]

Is divorce a sin?

I don’t know if divorce is a sin, but it would be a sin to divorce and then remarry, unless the condition mentioned here applies, I believe:

“And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for unchastity, and marries another, commits adultery." Matt 19:9 RSV

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

I don’t know if divorce is a sin, but it would be a sin to divorce and then remarry, unless the condition mentioned here applies, I believe:

“And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for unchastity, and marries another, commits adultery." Matt 19:9 RSV

There is nothing here said about the innocent spouse. And, remember that Jesus was speaking to unconverted Jews to show God's higher standards - that the Jewish law permitted divorce but God's standards are more strict. No one can reach those standards, and that is why Jesus came and died on the cross for us. So, what happens to a man whose wife deserts him and a divorce happens and he marries a widow? The widow can't be committing adultery because her previous husband has died. So, does this mean that an innocent person who has to go through a divorce because of his wife's decision, is punished as if he is guilty of the sin that caused the divorce? Does this mean that God punishes the innocent with the guilty?

But what is the greater sin - remarrying after the partner causes the divorce, or gossiping against another in the church? If God is going to punish an innocent spouse in divorce, then He must punish anyone who gossips and slanders another believer in church, doesn't He?

What is the answer then? Romans 8:1: "There is therefore no condemnation to those who are in Christ". If God is a God of second chances for a murderer, rapist, robber, fornicator, prostitute, then why not be a God of second chance for a remarried divorced person? After all, sin is sin, and there are no big or small sins, it is all sin, and Jesus took it all on the cross with Him, and left our sins down in Hell when He rose from the dead.

 

[Mountainmanbob]

Is divorce a sin?

Yes, in most but, not all cases divorce is a sin but, a sin that is forgivable if one understands true repentance.

M-Bob

 

[dreadnought]

There is nothing here said about the innocent spouse. And, remember that Jesus was speaking to unconverted Jews to show God's higher standards - that the Jewish law permitted divorce but God's standards are more strict. No one can reach those standards, and that is why Jesus came and died on the cross for us. So, what happens to a man whose wife deserts him and a divorce happens and he marries a widow? The widow can't be committing adultery because her previous husband has died. So, does this mean that an innocent person who has to go through a divorce because of his wife's decision, is punished as if he is guilty of the sin that caused the divorce? Does this mean that God punishes the innocent with the guilty?

But what is the greater sin - remarrying after the partner causes the divorce, or gossiping against another in the church? If God is going to punish an innocent spouse in divorce, then He must punish anyone who gossips and slanders another believer in church, doesn't He?

What is the answer then? Romans 8:1: "There is therefore no condemnation to those who are in Christ". If God is a God of second chances for a murderer, rapist, robber, fornicator, prostitute, then why not be a God of second chance for a remarried divorced person? After all, sin is sin, and there are no big or small sins, it is all sin, and Jesus took it all on the cross with Him, and left our sins down in Hell when He rose from the dead.

The problem I have in saying that you can't divorce someone is that in some states, if not all, aren't you tied to your spouse financially, so that you are held responsible for your spouse's debts? It seems to me the sin is when you decide to remarry, unless you divorced your spouse on the grounds of unchastity.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

The problem I have in saying that you can't divorce someone is that in some states, if not all, aren't you tied to your spouse financially, so that you are held responsible for your spouse's debts? It seems to me the sin is when you decide to remarry, unless you divorced your spouse on the grounds of unchastity.

It all depends on who is the one who has caused the divorce and the reason why. God never punishes the innocent with the guilty, and that all sin and iniquity shall be forgiven of people. 1 John 1:9 is the life saver for any person who sins. Of course we have Moses coming along with the big stick, whacking remarried people on the head on a regular basis!

 

[BobRyan]

Is divorce a sin?

The Bible says it is - except in the case of adultery.. and Paul allows it for abandonment

 

[PeterDona]

In Matthew 19:3-6 Jesus basically did away with all divorce where a relation exists that "God has joined". So the only question is, which relations did God not join? I think it safe to say that if Jesus say that you commit adultery, then you are not in a relation that God will join into one flesh.

Recognized valid marriages
(1) all marriages where it is the first marriage for both partners, i.e. where both are leaving their parents to go into the marriage (Genesis 2:24)

Recognized unlawful relations
(1) all marriages where a valid covenant spouse to one of the partners was still alive at the inception of the marriage (according to Romans 7)

Grey zone valid marriages
(1) all marriages where no partner had a valid marriage before

Grey zone unlawful relations
(1) anyone who has contracted a marriage according to government law cannot contract a new marriage - takes "whosoever" in Matthew 5:32 to mean the widest possible range of people.

Allright, all this braingymnastics was important to prepare the ground for introducing this thought: What if the "fornication" that Jesus spoke of in Matthew 5:32 and Matthew 19:9 was not some action outside of the marriage, but what if it referred to the marriage itself being fornication? I.e. if a marriage is to be considered adulterous, then certainly the exception would apply, and common sense would dictate that the marriage be dissolved before baptism. (see 1 cor 6:11 "such WERE some of ye")

The thought seems to make sense. In that way the truth becomes really black-and-white. You are either in a lawful relation or your are in an unlawful relation that must be severed.

This is my viewpoint, because I feel that all other positions do not line up with scripture. But as I always say, Study to show thyself approved ! On judgment day you will not be able to refer to the opinion of Oscarr or PeterDona or anyone else here. Only argument that will stand is "I took your Word for it" !

By the way, in my view on marriage, there is no exception for abandonment, violence, incompatibleness, difference in religion, adultery on one part in the relation etc. It would take a long time to argue it through, but I believe my view is thoroughly biblical. Here is a resource, a video series:

 

[ClementofA]

We need to look at 1 Corinthians 7 in the context in which it was written. Paul is dealing with Corinthian men who were divorcing their wives because they had the mistaken belief that being single made them more spiritual and closer to God.

The impression i get from 1 Cor. 7 is that - Paul - was the one who recommended singleness & that such would be more likely to be devoted to God than the married. It starts in the first verse & is repeated throughout the chapter:

1 Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband.

7 Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am.

28 But if you marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Yet such will have trouble in this life, and I am trying to spare you.

32But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; 33but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, 34and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 35This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord.

37But he who stands firm in his heart, being under no constraint, but has authority over his own will, and has decided this in his own heart, to keep his own virgin daughter, he will do well. 38So then both he who gives his own virgin daughter in marriage does well, and he who does not give her in marriage will do better.

39A wife is bound as long as her husband lives; but if her husband is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. 40But in my opinion she is happier if she remains as she is; and I think that I also have the Spirit of God.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

I have a couple of questions:

1. A couple have been married for eight years. They are committed Christians. Suddenly the wife decides that the marriage was a mistake and refused to cooperate with marriage counselling to try to get to the bottom of what has trigger her sudden change of heart toward the marriage, The husband has alway been supportive and loving toward her, never had an alcohol problem, never been violent, or had an affair, and has always paid the bills. She leaves him and they get divorced. Now my question is: Who would you punish? The wife who deserted the marriage, or the innocent husband, who did all he could to save the marriage? Also, would you punish the husband if he remarried?

The next question is, a wife leaves a marriage to save her life from a violent husband. He refuses help and counselling, so they get divorced. She remarries. Would you punish her?

I will leave it there for your responses. Then I will ask questions related to it.

 

[Rubiks]

Divorce is not in of itself a sin but Jesus says divorce and then remarriage is de facto adultery.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

Divorce is not in of itself a sin but Jesus says divorce and then remarriage is de facto adultery.

My question is, if the innocent party in a divorce remarries, are you going to charge them with de facto adultery and therefore reject them as a true believer in Christ?

 

[Rubiks]

My question is, if the innocent party in a divorce remarries, are you going to charge them with de facto adultery and therefore reject them as a true believer in Christ?

I think what the Bible says on divorce and remarriage can be very open to interpretation. That doesn't mean Christians with other viewpoints aren't real Christians. Salvation is based on solely what Jesus does. Having a viable interpretation is evidence of genuine faith, as opposed to twisting the bible to support a preconceived notion.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

I think what the Bible says on divorce and remarriage can be very open to interpretation. That doesn't mean Christians with other viewpoints aren't real Christians. Salvation is based on solely what Jesus does. Having a viable interpretation is evidence of genuine faith, as opposed to twisting the bible to support a preconceived notion.

You sidestepped my question, which is what would YOU do?

 

[bassovoice59]

I have a couple of questions:

1. A couple have been married for eight years. They are committed Christians. Suddenly the wife decides that the marriage was a mistake and refused to cooperate with marriage counselling to try to get to the bottom of what has trigger her sudden change of heart toward the marriage, The husband has alway been supportive and loving toward her, never had an alcohol problem, never been violent, or had an affair, and has always paid the bills. She leaves him and they get divorced. Now my question is: Who would you punish? The wife who deserted the marriage, or the innocent husband, who did all he could to save the marriage? Also, would you punish the husband if he remarried?

The next question is, a wife leaves a marriage to save her life from a violent husband. He refuses help and counselling, so they get divorced. She remarries. Would you punish her?

I will leave it there for your responses. Then I will ask questions related to it.

I am in this same situation. My then wife decided to leave believing the marriage to be a mistake. for sure, the legal grounds were "irreconcilable differences." No adultery. No abandonment. No child abuse.

I filed for the divorce after she reported for a new assistance principal job using the last name of her previous husband. She was starting a new job and a new life without me.

My prayer during the time was not to change her or soften her heart, but rather, to give me the strength to 'let her go.' Leaving was what she wanted. I would die to honor my vows. But she wanted out.
1. I learned that you cannot make a person stay or love you if they choose not to.
2. The rich young ruler approached Christ with a question of what he must do to be saved. Jesus told him, but the young man went away sad, for he choose not to follow Jesus.
3. Jesus let him go. Did not force His will upon him.

Divorce is the result of hardened hearts(s) where at least one does not forgive the other, where one does not seek to be forgiven or to change, where at least one gives up on their promise. God hates divorce because of what it does to us.

The "sin" in or of divorce in my opinion, is about the lack of forgiveness. Hence, forgiving is the stamp of being holy like Jesus. But many cannot forgive as we have been instructed. Therefore, a concession was made to accommodate divorce.

Nonetheless, divorce was never in God's plan for His chosen.

 

[JohnDB]

God doesn't change... like ever.

So I believe God when He says "I hate divorce" in Malachi...

But I also believe God when He described how He hated abuse more than divorce.

 

[1213]

Is divorce a sin?

I have understood that sin actually means that person rejects God, or is without God. So, if you don’t reject God because of divorce, you don’t have sin. However, by what Jesus tells, I think it is not good, it would be better not to do so.

but I tell you that whoever puts away his wife, except for the cause of sexual immorality, makes her an adulteress; and whoever marries her when she is put away commits adultery.
Matt. 5:32

I think divorce is not from love, and spouses should really love each other.