Is Dating even allowed?

[Love_Jesus]

Hi all

someone said to me the other day that we shouldnt be allowed to date? *shock* are we allowed to date or not?

Im a little confused because I know many christians who are couples and not married so I guess they obviously are dating and getting to know each other before they marry.

so .. scriptually are we or arnt we allowed?

thanks for reading.

 

[mina]

there is nothing about dating or courting in scripture. In biblical times you pretty much just had sex and you were married. And your parents gave his parents a goat and 5 doves or something. You DIDN'T get to know one another before marriage usually. Marriage was less about love and more about mere survival.

Now that marriage is usually based on love and that people can mostly live independently of a spouse and their parents, dating is the culturally acceptable way to get to know someone, so there is nothing wrong with it. Courting is basically dating with a different name to sound more pious or something.

 

[Love_Jesus]

thanks for your reply

 

[Inkachu]

I'd suggest immersing yourself in God's Word, keeping this issue in prayer, and listening to see what the Lord tells you.

 

[Luther073082]

there is nothing about dating or courting in scripture. In biblical times you pretty much just had sex and you were married. And your parents gave his parents a goat and 5 doves or something. You DIDN'T get to know one another before marriage usually. Marriage was less about love and more about mere survival.

It was a bit more formal then you just had sex and you where married. However you are correct that you probably didn't know eachother beforehand and there would probably be a bride price or dowry.

It also should be noted that the woman was typically far younger then her husband as women we're considered marriagable when they had their first period and men not typically until their late 20's or 30's.

But there isn't a biblical set requirement of how to meet a marriage partner.

 

[Isatis]

Hi all

someone said to me the other day that we shouldnt be allowed to date? *shock* are we allowed to date or not?

Im a little confused because I know many christians who are couples and not married so I guess they obviously are dating and getting to know each other before they marry.

so .. scriptually are we or arnt we allowed?

thanks for reading.

The Bible does not explicitly talk about dating but we can find information on relationship before [outside] marriage to guide us. There are many definitions of "dating" aren't they?
Now, when dating includes sexual relationship, the Bible does not allow it. In fact, Jesus warned us against lust (Mat 5:28-29) but also tempting others to sin (Matthew 18:7)

There are biblical principles we should consider when dating. Sin begins in our minds and then moves to our hearts. We are to flee sin and pursue God's righteousness in our lives. (Heb 12:1, Rom 8:5-14, 1 Peter 1:15-16, 1 Th 5:22,1 Jo 2:15)

 

[Love_Jesus]

thank you for all of your replys

 

[OGM]

Hi all

someone said to me the other day that we shouldnt be allowed to date? *shock* are we allowed to date or not?

Im a little confused because I know many christians who are couples and not married so I guess they obviously are dating and getting to know each other before they marry.

so .. scriptually are we or arnt we allowed?

thanks for reading.

As far as I know...the bible does not mention courting or dating.

 

[Judy02]

Hi all

someone said to me the other day that we shouldnt be allowed to date? *shock* are we allowed to date or not?

Im a little confused because I know many christians who are couples and not married so I guess they obviously are dating and getting to know each other before they marry.

so .. scriptually are we or arnt we allowed?

thanks for reading.

I agree that there is nothing in the bible that mentions dating/courtship etc, different times culturally

I think possibly, if some people just "date" and go in with the intention that they don't want anything serious to ever come of it, they have no intention of ever marrying etc, then I could see how someone could say it's wrong. Obviously, you need to get to know someone and you don't know for sure they are "the one" in the beginning, but if someone thinks "dating" is just where someone is seeing someone just for a laugh, and have no interest in a serious commitment, then I can understand them making a comment like that. You have to be open to the idea of marriage with someone in the future if you date, otherwise what's the point.

But I don't think "dating" has to mean that anyway. So I'm not sure why someone would tell you that. It depends what they think dating is, and what it entails.

But yeah, the concept of dating didn't exist in biblical times, so it didn't speak specifically about it. But I don't think the idea of it today, as a useful way of getting to know someone, and to see if you are compatible, that there is anything wrong with it.

I'm wondering if this said person read Joshua Harris' book...

 

[lostaquarium]

Obviously different people have different definitions of "dating". I definitely think it's a good idea for Christians (and everyone else) to get to know each other before committing to marriage, and you could call that period "getting to know each other" or "dating" or "courtship" or whatever

 

[OGM]

Obviously different people have different definitions of "dating". I definitely think it's a good idea for Christians (and everyone else) to get to know each other before committing to marriage, and you could call that period "getting to know each other" or "dating" or "courtship" or whatever

Yes and it should not be rushed.

 

[m0rdecai89]

I was asking this question a little while ago and God gave me peace with this answer. We should not date because it takes the focus away from Him and can lead to us getting hurt if that is not who He has for us. Instead we should just seek Him and trust that He will put that person in our life that we are supposed to be with. Trust Him and when you think you have met that person ask God first if that is who He wants you with and if it is His time for it, once He gives you peace on that then begin a courtship in which you get to know the person but you don't have to wait that long to get married since you will know that is who God has for you.

 

[dayhiker]

I think if the standard is not doing anything that takes our focus off Jesus, then the Bible is pretty clear that we shouldn't get married.